Now for something completely different.....

This is as random as it comes and I hope no one is eating while reading this. This post is going to be very disgusting, with pictures of nasty things that one can almost hear the flies buzzing. I was bored at work and start looking up pictures of road kill and I thought, " hey lets blog this and see if anyone gets pissed!"
So here I bring to you RoadKill Thursday!

1) Firts up on the menu we have what might have been a rabbit, actually after blowing it up a little I am sure it WAS a rabbit. Little Bunny FooFoo is no more!



2) On the appitizer menu we find what was a dog of some kind maybe a fox or maybe a dingo. "The dingo has my.....skid mark!?!"


3) Now for the main course I was thinking of going for some ribs, spine and a hoof.


4) Even GIJoe would agree that squirrel taste better with some extra road grissle on him.


5) And for dessert we have anime roadkill, and I had two peices!
Now, I am not sure what this has to do with roadkill but it made my manhood twitch. Take a wild guess what angle I would have gone for if I was holding the camera.....


6) The meal is done and with that we took a parting shot of the best place in the world for YKIWGI ( You Kill It We Grill It). You might also want to bring your own drink as well, I am not sure but I think their bug juice was made from bugs scrapped on a big rig's grill.


It is Thursday and I will post a HNT post laster on tonight. I forgot my camera at home and I am not about to us my work phone to send HNT of myself to my work computer. Too many creepy people around here.
Now that picture above of that girl passed out face down got me thinking about all those conventions I keep see on photobucket and Flickr. I want to go to an Anime Convention and I have found one! I am going to see if I can get the wife to go with me, it is the NewYork Anime Festival being held September 26-28 at the Jacob Javits Center. I might even get dressed up as, well I am not sure but from all the pictures I have seen there are tons of things to choice from. I am not a crazy anime fan but I have seen some and I do like Vampire HunterD and the classic Akira.
I am very interested in the Baby Shines Bright fashion, you want to talk about some kinky shit!
Here go take a look and maybe we can all go!~~~> ANIME

What dreams may come......

I am not a big believer in the whole dream analysis stuff. What a dream meant or why you are dreaming about it, never concerned me. For me dreams have always been like my brain taking a big old crap and the looking in the bowl right before it flushed. They usually make no sense what so ever and almost never have anything to do with what has been on my mind. And last night was no different. I have not gotten much sleep for the past few day but last night was make up time for that. A bomb could have gone off and I would not have heard it. But my brain was at it again, but for only a few moments.
I had two short but very vivid dreams last night, the first one I shall call-
I Woke up Pissed Off:
It start with me being in a car full of old high school friends, still at their high school weight ;-). We were just driving around and then we stopped at a store/restaurant because another one wanted to come with us but we had to wait until they got off from work. It did not seem like a long wait but the moment she got off (I am not sure who she was but I knew she was an old friend) she came to the car got in the drivers side passenger door slid over and got out on the other side. Then ran to another car and drove away with someone else. I remember standing there with my mouth open saying, "What the Fuck was that? Did she just take off with someone else after we waited for her ass!" That was when I woke up, I woke up pissed off as hell. I was fuming like it actually happened. I could hear my heart in my ears I was so pissed. And the funny thing is I think I woke up because I was so irate ha! I did fall back to sleep after a few minutes and had another I will call:
The Freak at the Fair:
In this one I was walking around at this town fair. You know the ones you see in local towns, sometimes they are called sidewalk sales where they have the fried Oreo guy and funnel cake? There I was walking around looking for someone. I knew it was someone that I was meeting there but I could not find them. For some reason I knew that they were supposed to be at one of the stands but was not sure which one. After looking around I finally found them, and of course it was a woman but funny thing about her, the face was of no one I have ever seen before. She had on this weird hippie green face paint and was tall as me, I am 6'2 and she had long blonde hair. I acted like she was a friend I have not seen in years and we seemed to know each other. Right when we meet I woke up again, this time it was the alarm clock and it was time to face reality. This time I woke up in a much better mood but I was very confused. I know my wife would have smacked me in the back of the head for having dreams about other women but none of it was naughty. Hell I think I have had 2 sexual dreams in my whole life and they were more bizarre than sexy lol.
And almost always I can never really make out the faces. And even if I do have dreams about people I know I can never really make out the faces, if I were to see people like that in real life I think I would freak out. But as with this tall blonde chick I could not really make out her face but some how I knew her and she was the reason I was there.
Now, like I said I really do not go into the whole notion of dream therapy and would not put even the effort it would take to goggle it but those were some strange dreams. I often get them when I go long stretches of time with little to no sleep and then one night BAM out cold and into Tim Burtons nightmare!
Well, I am now off to face reality. Work, family and bills its the American way!

I have said it before.........

.........and it is time to say it again: I am done drinking for a while. I have been drinking alot lately and this past Firday was bad. And the funny thing it was totally unplanned, I almost always get drunk on purpose. Meaning that I knew I was going to end up sleeping on the couch and by all means planned for it. It is a well thought out process as the what to eat, when I will start drinking, what I will be wearing and how I am getting home. But this past Firday caught be by complete suprise.

As usual I made an ass out of myself, almost got run over by some douche bag on a dirt bike, went running up and down the street ringing people door bells and walking slowly way, fell over and hid behind a grill and woke up on the couch with no real idea how I got there.

This was not one of the worst drunkin outings I have had but I did have to pick my son up the next morning. And then his mother had car trouble so I ened up driving all the way to Branchburg from Elizabeth. That is a little over an hour drive there, I was somewhat sober when I went and not really all that hung over but boy was I dizzy. That drive seemed to last days instead of hours. That night of drinking was not prepared properly and one of the problems came about because I was not eating and had not eaten most of the day. So by the time I got to the shots I should have known I was in a world of hurt.

I did not throw up and did not break anything but I did have to be carried into the house by my neightbor, who by the way was the reason I was drinking and drank so much. It was all his idea to break out the tequilla, I swear!

The wife unit was not happy with me but I smoothed it all out and things luckily did not go horribly wrong. Beer and tequilla drunk is a bad drunk for me, it turns my asshole levels waayyy up and I often do really stoopid things. It is strange how different forms of the same product have different effects.

I am going to list a few drinks and what has come out of them:

Beer-

Beer has to be one of the safest forms of alcohol, but in large doses has been known to cause slurred speech, teary eyed confessions of 'I Love you man', uncontrolable fits of laughing, the notion you are stronger than a mac truck and many hours of pearing down the bowl of a toliet.

Jagermeister-

This strange shot makes me angry, not violent because I dont have a violent bone in my body but it does bring up the angry white guy in me. I have been known to run through a crowd of teenagers at a metal concert with my arms swinging and laughing. If you plan on going to a concert with a pit this is a must have.

Rum-

Ahhhh my favorite drink of them all, next to beer. This one puts me in a super calm mood and often makes me grin like a fool for most of the time. Another safe one in my book, just as long as there isnt any mixing going on.

Girly Drinks (fuzzy navel, sex on the beach and such)-

Put me in a funny mood but always give me wierd dreams and I dont fell right for days. One or two I can handle but getting drunk on these sugary, limp wristed forms of booze has never been my thing.

Whiskey/burbon/Teqilla/and any other form of booze that can be used to clean car parts-

The stronger the drink the least likely I am to get drunk on it. I am not much for drinking things that make you blind seconds after swallowing them. Like Biccardi 151......it burns from the time it hits your gums to the time you are throwing it back up.

There are a few more but its Monday and I am working on 4 hours of sleep. Thanks to the jack ass the got to work 2 hours late last night. But I did get to catch up on my viewing of this TV show called Wipeout, if you have now see it go to youtube and check it out. It is some funny shit.

Like I said I am on the wagon; now I am not saying I wont have a beer here or there but beyond that I am cutting myself off on the drunkin nights and dizzy mornings. And besides, watching people get drunk is just as much fun because you get to be the fucker instead of the fuckie!

Yeah TiTs Friday!

Yes I am going to do a short but sweet TiTs Friday post.
But first I just want to say I love when restaurants do kids eat free days. We all went to Perkins last night and it was buy one adult meal and get one kids meal free. So we bought 2 adults and 2 free kids meals, and to boot they had this magician there. He did the usual slight of hand tricks and card tricks but he was really good at them. I knew how a couple of them worked but he was fast and I actually did not catch a slip up. He handed out his card and if we ever have a party I might even hire him.
The food at Perkins is almost always on the upper end as far as chain restaurants go. And I think our oldest will agree because after he was done with his mac and cheese he started licking the plate! It was to funny to even tell him to stop!
Several side notes about the people that sat around us:
1) To the parents that capped there 7 year old boys 2 front teeth in gold, you are first place in my ghetto trash award.
2) There was a lesbian couple sitting next to us, which isn't any big whoop in my book but..........the one woman was a rather LARGE woman and the other was as a Skinny. My mind was all over that visual ha!
3) Another gay couple came in as we were leaving; is Perkins a gay hangout or something? And it was reallllllly obvious who was the catcher and who was the pitcher in that game of love!

I love to eat out.....take that quote how ever you like ;-)

Now on with some quickies, I have to get payroll done and a whole lot of other things I should be doing. And with that let me start things off with this one:

1) While trolling photobucket I found this and if I could photoshop my picture into it you could see how my office looks right now.


2) I am always saying this and got a good laugh from it. Damn dirty hippies!



3) While looking up 'boobs' I found this. Take note women this is how we think, end of story. But he is missing on thought, food.


4) I found her while looking up 'sand bags'. She has tons of typical myspace pictures, you never really see her from the chest down; kind makes you go hmmmmmmm. Or the usual self shot pictures of her looking up at the camera, how original......


5) Good god, Epic is the only way to describe those bonkers. Hell they better be she paid good money for them!


6) I refrain from having friends that have hot sisters/moms/aunts/grandmothers/trained monkeys just for this reason.


7) My wife knows all about 'the motor boat' even if she claims not to remember.....;-)


8) This last one has nothing to do with the topic at hand but I had to put it up. I am a huge fan of body art, tattoos and piercings but sometime I really wonder what the hell they were thinking when they said, "Yeah I want this permanently inked on my body." Here I give you the asshole award for the day in 'WTF Where You Thinking'


I hope everyone has a good night, a happy Friday and that I get to see some drunken post by Monday. I think it is time for me to blow out some brain cells as well, I have a bottle of rum in the freezer with my name all over it tonight!

My beginnings in HNT...........

One of my newest readers was a bit curious to what HNT is all about. I went back and dragged up some of my original post on this topic. And since I am trying with all my might to bring back the good old days I am attempting to bring HNT. Its fun so let us all share some our own nakedness!

HTN#1





HNT#2





HNT#3 Not me just something relavent to the topic!





HNT#4





HNT#5





HNT#6





NOTREALLT-HNT but a good read for the old days. And I just noticed that this post had 202 comments! WTF was going on then ha?!?





HNT#7





HNT#8





HNT#9 - Not really but I got a good laugh from it!





HNT#10






I start up with Half Nekked Thursdays back in 2005 after I saw some of the other people I used to blog with doing it. The rules simple and be found here~~~~> HNT
Now I am not sure if this is the guy that started in the first place but he is the one that made the button I have on the side of my blog. I have to revisit his blog, I have not been there in a while.

One of the things I noticed about some of my old post is that many of the people that commented on my blog are gone or have made their blog private. The odds of me ever going private are slim to none. If I ever get to the point I have to go private is the day I stop blogging. But this is my first HNT I have done in a while and all I really have is this:

Me + Beer= God only knows!




Now go out and spread the HNT fun to all you know. I will have a much better one next week, I promise!

Happy Hump Day

Well happy mid week hump day, 2 more days until FRIDAY!
So far so good with me bring back the old days of blogging everyday, and you know what I really did miss doing this. The thinking about what to blog about, the searching for random pictures of non-worksafe things to shock myself with. Much like the picture I have above, I almost pissed mysefl when i found that one HA! And even the looking over my shoulders to see if anyone can see what I am typing about. Oh the thrill of it all! I have been trolling about and leaving comments all over the place as well to see if I can find some new people to play with. I have some old and some new, so keep coming back I will have more.

In my trolling I was reading on Nikky's blog about a We Fest that she is going to. Well it seems to be some country music festival with a pretty big line up, even though I have noooo idea who most of those people are I started thinking about my own concert going ways.....or lack of. I used to love going to concerts, here is a list of bands and/or people I have seen: (and a scale of 1-10 of how they were)

• System of a Down- 9
• Powerman 5000- 9
• Ozzy- 10
• Black Sabbath- 5 They only get a 5 because ozzy was there
• White/Rob Zombie- White Zombie was a 9 but Rob Zombie was a 5!
• Maryln Manson- 10 always the showman!
• Guns and Roses- 8 I was too young for the original but they were a 10!
• Tool- 7
• Joan Jet and the Heart Breakers- 3 So sad so very very sad
• Pantera- 8
• limp Biskit- 8 Like him or not he puts on a show
• Emmene (sp)- 8 Just not his opening acts, they always suck
• Korn- 9
• Slayer old and new- Old slayer- 9 / New slayer- 6
• Godsmack- 5

There are a few others but its 0220 in the morning and I cannt seem to get my brain in 3rd gear yet. But what I have noticed about my concert going is that I have lost my drive to want to go to them anymore. Especially ones at big venues, its all about getting your money and screwing the fans. I can not stand how the music/movie industry treats the everyday consumer. It makes me sick to see these people making stupid money and still asking for more. I know musicians probably have to work harder for it but come on, I cannt bring a camera to the show because .........I might try and sell it to some ass tart that does not have a computer and has no idea how to google photis and then 'save as' the picture and print it out at home? Or I cannt bring my own lawncahir to an outdoors show but I can rent one of theirs!?! The whole idea behind going to shows no longer has the feel of you and the band, hell if i want to see a band now all I do is go to youtube and look them up and watch all their live stuff from someone camera phone. I used to go to the box office of the show and wait in line and get my tickets. I even got front row tickets once for Ozzfest by doing this. But every year they would try to do some under handed bullshit to screw with you. The last year I went to Ozzfest I called the box office and asked if they were selling them at the window like the do every year and 3 different people told me no. My wife told me to go anyway and see, I was being a stubborn ass and did not want to go but did anyway. I get there and what do I see, people in line at the window! But the real kicker was that you had to be there the day before to get a braclet to insure you get first picks. I was so disgusted with this and not to mention most of the people that had the braclets were obviously scalpers. And how do pick a team of scalpers? Here let me tell you:

First you will see a buch of people that look like they are in line for the wrong concert, here we had about 50-60 little brown men that did not look like that could say more than '8 tickets please' in english. It was an 8 ticket per person limit, and then you will have one or two white guys with a shit load of cash giving each person there aloted money for the tickets.

It is really simple to spot these roaches and to top it off I found out that the box office was selling all tickets for all shows for the whole summer that day! That was the last time I went to the box office, and really the last time I really tried to get any tickets. I try from time to time to win them from radio stations, and yes I have won many times. I dont feel so bad about the bullshit if i win them. And please tell me how ticketslave(master) is allowed to resell tickets for soo much more than what you would have paid at the door? Screw them all, I am done with this rant. I am now off to steal some music, pirate a few pictures of Metallika (spelled wrong on purpose so screw off about pointing it out) and photoshoping pictures of my balls in Larz's mouth, watch bootlegged movies of Batman on the internet (and yes it is out there!) and fill my zip drive with 'save as' copywritten porn pictures.

Nothing was proof read and nothing was fixed because I am just gangsta like dat beeotch!

I am back to blogging again.....

I was in a serious blogging rut for a time. Many factors played into why I was not playing with myself more, but most of the blame fell in the 'I am a lazy asshat' category. For a while I wondered why I was even bothering with it still. And then I went back to when I first started in 2005 and reread some of my old stuff. I realized that I suck as a writer but it is a great timeline for my memories. I got a real chuckle at my blogging beginnings and also noticed that I need to go back and remove of the shit post I made that the pictures have been lost or the links are now bad.
At first I used to blog every damn day, and even sometimes twice in one day. I had a whole community of blogs i read and even had a good number of people that used to read mine in return. Most of the people I used to blog with have all left blogsphere, I still chat with some of them from time to time (cherry and D) but it has been a while since I have heard from them. It seemed I meet most of them as their interest in blogging was on the down ward spiral. But in their defense many of them were being harassed via their own blog and had to leave or go underground because of it. I often prayed someone would try to start some bullshit on my blog just so I could have someone to argue with. Call me stupid, call me a jerk but I still am waiting for the day someone comes over here thinking I give a crap that their opinion is better than my own. I wont realistically try to make them see the error of their ways, I just want to piss them off to the point I give them a stroke and they die face down on their keyboard.
But on the same topic I never really understood why people started crap on someone else's blog. I have come across some real narrow minded fuck-tards in my blogging travels, AKA the 'Next Blog' button. And every time I find one like that I just leave. I am not here to make them think differently or see how much smarter I am than them. I do not agree and no matter what your imaginary friend says they Earth is alot older that 6 thousand years old! That was one of the religious blogs I came across that I had to just run away from, I almost sent him a "WTF Are You Talking About" comment but I knew better.
To each his or her own. Who am I to judge, I like midget porn for fuk sakes!
In the same token of the 'Next Blog' button, I have seemed to have made a few new friends that came back after I went trolling and left tons of comments all over the place. I started with some of the people I know and then started looking for some new friends. A couple have come and visited me in the same day ( GirlonTheRun and MJ *warning mj is not work safe! and that is why I like her.....I hope its a girl anyway lol*)
I have to go through my blog roll and remove a few links of those who have gone away. Hell, it seems like half of them have to be deleted! And also add a few, so that will be my next chore on here as I am trying to bring my blogging ways back. I refuse to let this die! It is a hobby that I really enjoy and it is one of the thing I do at work that makes me look like I am really busy when I want to be left alone for a minute.

Also one of the things I used to do with my blog, that I miss, is post funny pictures I find on Photobucket or other photo housing web sites. Today I looked up the word 'blog' and 'fist' in photobucket. The first one I posted at the top was what I found under blog. The next two can be found under the title of 'fist'

1) There is a Ronald clown like this at a local Wal-Mart, the next time I go there I am going to try and get someone to take my picture like this!


2) This sums up how I feel sometimes when driving in NJ!

I will have more to come and hopefully I can keep this steam up. I used to have a TGIF post where I would post 8-10 funny things like this. If everything goes to plan I might just bring it back. And hell if no one reads it at least I can come back here years from now and get a good laugh.
Oh, yeah a big thanks to anyone that returns the favor of reading and commenting on my blog after I left my stain on theirs.

Mondays suck but so do hookers.....

So it isn't all bad.
This was a busy weekend but Sunday was our day of rest. We did absolutely nothing Sunday, and I must say I loved it. We watched the last Harry Putter movie, The Order of the Phoenix, well tivo-ed it so we could watch the parts we missed. Kids tend to get in the way of the tv when they are awake. I would not say I am a huge Harry Putter fan but I do like them, I tried to read the books but they were a bit....I don't want to say beneath me but....the reading was a bit to childish for my taste. I am no literary god but I do like a challenge when I take time to read something. I was hoping to see Harry get a damn girlfriend by now. He is the star of the school and he is still pull on his own wand for pud shakes! But in all I liked the movie, I hope to get out to see the new Batman movie. I am dieing to see how over-dose boy did on his last movie. Was that a bad joke or a tasteless pun....don't know don't care I thought it was funny HA!

Saturday: (as usual out of order)
I did not have my camera with me this weekend, I forgot it, but I did get one cellphone picture from our Saturday adventure:

It came out surprisingly well, for a cell phone. We all went out to visit one of my wife's friends that invited us to their pool. I made the mistake of not putting sunscreen on my body but I did put 50spf on my face. Vanity often does not equal smart, lol. I got red but not toooo red, it does itch a little and it is uneven. So now I have to lie on my back with my arms up in the air to get those hard to reach areas evened up.

This kids had a blast and all the fun n the sun wore them out for a nice quiet night! I ate way to much and should have probably worked out but the bed felt better than the gym lol.

Sunday: Part Duex

I am not sure if I ever mentioned it but I am very mechanically declined! If I start fixing something the odds are I will end up making it worse than what it was to start. But on Sunday I actually broke that mold for once. HARHAR

My son had some of his friends over and they ended up breaking his Playstation, well the CD tray anyway. So I took it apart to see if it was something as simple as a broken screw and found the problem, a broken CD tray thingie. But luckily we still had an older one in the closet. So I took that one apart and and switched tray thingies and WALLA! Fixed Playstation! I even figured out why it wasn't turning on after I put it back together, the little silver power plug that hooked the power buttons to the system had come unplugged! Go me for round two! I was so shocked it did not make it worse I drank a whole bottle of rum to celebrate....well only one rum and coke I wasn't in the mood to get hammered. Lets see what breaks next so I can test out my new found green thumb.....oh wait isn't that for plants?

Philly out of order...

I loaded up all of my pictures we took while we were at the Benjamin Franklin museum and they came out all out of order. I am not sure why and really to busy and lazy to go through them all and reorganize them. If it was not for dis-order I would have no order to my life.

So if you notice that I seem to jump around alot in my time line just keep in mind this is how my brian works on a regular basis anyway.


So lets begin!:


1) This was some random side of the road advertisment for something, I just liked the paint job.


2) While in the 'Famliy Restroom' I noticed that there seems to be a rodent problem here in Philly, nothing much has change in 200 years I see.




3) While we were leaving we saw a whole buch of news vans and these guys. Man did I have the urge to run up and punch a hippie, and then scream "Get a hair cut hippie!" Wow, was I born during the wrong time lol.




4) Random Tourist picture....




5) He seemed a little young to have a monkey on his back.




6) Hot soccer mom again.....water + White Tee-shirt, alllllright!


7) More soccer moms....oh wait that one's mine!


8) Soccer mom's with ink!


9) Greek resutrant with good pizza and Philly Cheese steaks!


10) Old fashioned shit remover. I love old towns that still have some of the old world flavor to it.


11) Mr. NoNo's is standing in the old world treasure map.....Dar be gold in dem hills!


12) I have nooooo Idea!


13) The will of the baby vs the will of the mommy......It is hard to say who really wins in those battles.


14) I dont smoke anymore but I have alway wanted one of these. Along with a pool table, a pin ball machine, a junk box, a fully stocked bar, poker tables and a 3 lane bowling alley. Man I need to play the lottery!


15) I can see my brain!


16) I was waiting for her to bust out with some Chuck Norris karate on her kids! At least I know I am not alone in being driven insane by my kids!


17) One Big fucking train!


18) The scrap yard would have a field day with this one!


19) One a little smaller and easier to fit in one shot lol.


20) Chil-lax-in in the shade


21) Not happy, not happy at all.


22) Future tank commander


23) Lets see, a mohawk, a Rancid teeshirt and military power....yep we have it all


24) A rare happy moment.....so very rare!


25) I wonder if this is the same face fighter pilots make when they drop bombs on people? I know I would!


26) Name that plane.....


27) 'Pilot to co-pilot I just crapped my pants where is the auto cleaner button?'


28) Again pissed at the air


29) the mother ship has landed


30) Push, pull, push, pull....he could have done that alllll day!


31) Who needs bombs when you have the 'Rebel Yell' to take out your enemies.


32) Small butt, bigger butt is the better butt!


33) See, all you have to do is trick people into thinking exercise is a game and then everyone will love it.


34) This picture came out rather well, typical tourist picture by I like it.


All in all everyone had a blast at the museum. I remeber it being bigger but then again it was 20 years ago.....wait did I just say 20 years AGO!!!!!!!! Holy fuckinghellsayitaintsoo!
I turned 32 last week and if anyone says anything about birthdays I will hunt you down and take pictures of you in the shower and post them here! If you want send me a Happy 12th birthday card with a gift certificate to Hot22.....it is an all nude strip joint not far from my house....feel free, just email me and I will provide you with my address.
I swear I am not that old!