Not so happy Friday ppls....

I have a really bad stomache virus and hav been up all night on the bowl. It started about 7pm last night and just kept on going till now. The last time I ate anything was 6:30pm yesterday, and for those of you who know me this is a feat in itself. I have now gone just about 14 hours without eating, I think I am going to die! The only thing I am willing to try and put in me is some tea with lemon, which I am sipping on slowwwwly right now. But besides that I am doing ok.

Yesterday I was asked to show some buns, Cherrie has this werid obsession with men and their hinnies, so I just thought I would show some. I have seen allot of boobie for HNT and have never shown anything on the same playing field in return. I am not about to do a Mike because I am not in the shape I want to be in yet. Give me another 4 weeks and I think I might do one like that ;-). Now for all the dudes out there that do like man butt please dont scroll down in farther, and Sharon if you are reading this stop right now because you will be blinded. (ps-Sharon is my sister in law)
You Have Been Warned:

And just for the record I dont like my butt, its too flat.

I had to take this pic a few times, i was not aware how well one can see through this glass.....there are some things I just wont share with anyone else. Besides the wife has exculsive rights to that area only hahaha.

Now in the same area of thought I thought I would go and look up some funny Butt pics for this fridays addition of Friday Funnies. After trolling around this is what I came up with:

I am not sure if this means she likes it in her 'exit' or is she just pointing out where it is?















When exercise cloths go oh so very wrong

And one for the guys ......sorry I had to burn your eyes like that but I hope this big bottom hoochie helps a little. Now that is a butt one could get lost in for days, just as her thong can atest to.

Happy HNT

Not much happened yesterday, thank goodness. It was a nice quiet night with only a few misshaps here and there.
I went to the gym after work and saw something funny. There is this woman who is 20 from the neck down but from the neck up is very 50ish. Now dont get me wrong she tone and in shape but her face looks very weathered and beaten by time and definatley the sun(not that she isnt doable, just that one would have to hit that from behind) Now she wears things that just scream LOOK AT THIS PART OF MY BODY, like spandex shorts that are so tight that it is IN her butt. There is no was she is wearing any underwear, when she bends over she doesnt bend at the knee and one can see all her womanly glory, if one were to look. And yes i looked! Hell if you are going to put on a show I will watch damn it. I do try not to look at the cutie ones that seem very self contous about themselves, even though they are better looking than most attention whores lol. But you come to the guy in black tights that are in a permanate wegie, a tiny black top that shows off a set of abs Brad Pitt would be jealous of and make up that would make Tammy Fay blush-for real- and I will be looking. And dont give me that" What are looking at" attitude, you came to the gym for attention that only whores get...you got it. I love attention whores haha.




















Now on to my HNT, it was inspired from the newspaper. I took one picture but thought the second was better and more fitting. So I will post both and you let me know if maybe i should have taken another one..............

Picture one:
















Picture two:
















I was thinking of taking another and putting "My Lizard" under the title but I do not think pulling out the center of mens joy at work was a good idea. And besides I am still a little shy about that....but i have been thinking about a good HumpBack pic.

















Maybe something along this line but we shall see. Anyone got any butter?
(by the way that isnt me lol)

Happy Hump Day

Happy Hump Day ppl. I hope yalls week has been going fast but fun. And if life has become borning and mundane I would strongly advise you to have kids. There is never a dull moment when you have kids. Last night something happened that I so wanted to show in pictures but I think I would have lost readers on this one. Let me desricbe it instead, that is bad enough in my book. The evil midget that lives in our house is pretty much house broken and even goes on the big boy potty without any help and even knows to flush when he is done. But he is blissfully unaware of a few things we as adults have learned. Like: how to clinch the when the turle head has gotten to close to the cotton. Well let me tell you, last night was one of his first times with Mr. Turtle vs The Baby. He came to me to tell me he had to potty, no biggie but during the process of pulling his pants down and getting him on the bowl the turtle attacked. I think it all started with a small wee man fart but what it end up as the baby turning into a chocolate icecream machine on soft serve. I kid you not on what it looked like, it was perfectly chocolate brown and very creamy looking. The moment I noticed this hersey highway pill up I turned off the old sense of smell. It is a trick I learned from years of eating at the Y, once you get passed the smell you got it licked! So the smell was never an issue for me becasue I never smell it but the idea of having to pick this shit up was almost tooo much for me. But I now know I am more man than I ever thought I was. After I got him cleaned up and in the bath I proceeded to clean up the toxic spill, I kept telling myself, "Its only MUD, Its only MUD!" and you know what? ....it worked! I got it all cleaned up, including the drunken midget without getting sick. So you see, if you need a little spice in your life have a kid and they will give u excitment that James Bond could never compair to.

Now for something completly different: I was looking up beer in photobucket and I thought I would share some of the gems that I found. I have not had any beer in over two weeks and I miss it, but I will not miss the gut it has brought. It is no where near beer gut but its enuogh for me to put the beer down for a moment to get rid of it. I will save it up for next winter lol.

This is soooo me, I love to fuck with ppl after they pass out haha!

Do you know Page?

I was trolling through the internet as I usually do looking for porn and I was reconnected with one of the women I give credit to my love of panty hose......well cannt forget one of my first dirty mags was "Leg Show"....her name is Bettie Page. I dont care if you dont dig women the way I do but you have to admit she was one hot pin-up girl. She had legs one could chew on for days and a but that could cause men to murder.




















God...just looking at that pics makes me wish I could just take a bite out of that apple hmmmmmm. I did a little research to see if she was still around and it turns out she israther hidden from the public eye and has refused to have any photos taken of her, she said she perfers to have ppl remeber how she was and not how she looks now. But I beg to differ, no matter what she looks like now she will always look like this to me:




















We all age and change in ways we would perfer not to think about but it happens to us all. She was one hell of a playmate but she was still a person I would have loved to have met. But she is a bit older than me, hell one of her first photo shoots was back in 1951. Just to put a date to things here and I was born in 1976......but hot damn.....I would have climbed out of my crib to get at dem tiggle bitties!




















One of the reasons that ppl give for her disapearance in the pin-up scene was religous reasons. It seems that she married some wack job of man and she ended her career as a modle. Another one killed in the name of an imaginary friend...what a shame I would have loved to seen her in more than pictures.....if ya know what I mean haha. She was hotter than hell.




















She is a woman that was said to have one of the most perfect figures of her time. That must have been one hell of thing to live up to year after year. It was and still is very true, few pin-ups have her shape or look. There have been a few but most of the women in main stream mags are to damn skinny. But as age took its toll so did her fame of having the famed body, things happen as I said and we cannt live up to what the public wants. I did find a resent pic of her and I still stand by what I said before.....she is older but she is still the same woman I cranked my teenage shaft of to in those black and white photos I had.
















Not saying I have anything agaist the other two women in that pic but if I were to screw Anna Nicole I would have to duct tape her mouth shut.....that womans voice could sour mild in one sentence and kill an erection brought on by a bottle of Viagra.

I think that I need a little me time now after all this research I have done. It has brought my beast to his fullest attention and one must answer when the devil calls. To bad I cannt take my computer into the bathroom with me haha. Does anyone know any good Bettie Page look-a-likes? And they better not be transvestites, so help me GOD if someone sends me a link with a Page look-a-like and its a dude! I will hunt you down and chew out your gall bladder thorugh your belly button. With that said I hope everyone is have just as a good day as I am.....:-D

Tits Monday oh boy.....

It is Monday again......oh fucking joy!
But lucky for me I had a nice relaxing weekend, but the wife had a bit of rough ride though. She had a wicked stomache ache and ended up vomiting up some nasty shit. She went to a baby shower (not hers) on Sunday and she blames it on something she ate there. But she is doing better now, still a bit off but much better than last night.
On Saturday me and little monsters went outside and lit up......some smoke bombs haha. We live in NJ and all fireworks are illigeal, which is a bunch of buttshit if u ask me. But smoke bombs are not considered fireworks....they dont exsplode- which equals a gay cracker. But the boys thought these things were the most amazing things in the word.

Here we have contraband at its gay-est....
















Up close and personal with my smoking balls.


















Tit was a bit nippley so I decided to start a little fire in our Texas smoker. And for those of you who have no idea what a Texas Smoker is: It is where some crazy redneck takes an old steel drum of some kind and turns it into a barbq grill. I love this thing but I would love one the is rust prove, I think someday I will come down with tetnius from this damn thing lol.

















Boy are my balls blue....










Attack the smoking ball attack!

















Ancient ninja skills brought home to the suburbs.

















This one is call "Squat and fart yellow steam of death move"



















I love making fires and playing with matchs, it is a love afair I have had since I first learned that airplane glue is flammable back when I was 7. But this is a love that can hurt at times....'Love hurts, love stings....' But no matter how many times this mistress gets me I keep coming back for more. Here we have a perfect example of why not to try and pick up wood that has been in the embers for even a second.

















Not much happened the rest of the week, but this is my second week of being sober. Not that I am going the dry high ground its just I am giving my liver a rest. Doug will be home soon and I know what that will intail, Navy men drink.....nuff said. I have beer in the frig and I didnt touch any of them, now if that isnt will power I dont know what will power is lol.