Funtimes....

Last night we opened a puzzle we got for the kids at my favorite store in the world: Target! It was a small kids puzzle of the movie 'Cars' Surprisingly Seth set to the task fast and was done in no time. He even took it apart several times and put it back together. Now Lucas only being 5 had no real interest in it but did have an interest in the box:



He had a blast with the bottom part of the box. I am not sure why he thought it was a hat but he was happy with it.





It is amazing how something so simple can keep the entertained for hours lol.
Now, changing gears a bit I want to address something that happened at work on Tuesday. At my job I am the 'Senior Supervisor' to my site, this place is my baby and I have control over many parts of it. One of the things that I have to deal with is phone calls at any given time about anything from burglar alarms to employee problems. On Tuesday I get a call around 1700hrs from on of my guys asking if i knew what happened to the head of HR? I had not, and even had several conversations with this person earlier in the day and I did not get any indication something was up.
WELL! As it turns out this person was not conducting themselves that was becoming of someone in their position. I wont go into what, who, why, or even when; mainly because I dont know; but what I got from the grapevine is that they were messing around with some low level employee and they got pissed about something and went running to upper management about it. At my job you have to sign a ' without cause' contract that states they can fire you with no give reason, I am not sure if the same applies to their job but I am sure they do.
No company wants bad press so any wind of anything a little funny that might make them look bad; they take action. What makes this a little funny is that this is not the first time I have seen something like this go down. Hell I see at least 2 of these a year, and it always makes me laugh! Dont you know never ever shit where you eat? I mean I did meet my wife at my job but we were both low level employees and if the shit hit the fan i would not really been out a whole lot. But people like this with 6 figure jobs and titles throw it away for just a little fun always make me laugh. This person of question was a jerk and just on Monday he did someone a little dirty.....here is a perfect example of their jerky nature:
A temp worker locked her keys in her car and asked us (sukuritie) if we could help. Company policy states we help NO-ONE with their cars on any level. Just because people have tried to sue in the past for damages that occurred during the rendering of help. So now we just shrug our shoulders and laugh at you. The cops wont help for the same reason and it would seem neither will anyone in maintenance. She went to the HR person, same person that got fired, and asked if there was anything anyone could do to help. In the end the only advise she was given was to call a locksmith. I have had to do this once, a pretty penny it was but I got my door opened and i was on my way. Now, another note here: this was the second time she had done this in 2 days....so were are not dealing with the sharpest bowling ball here. Any way, after she spoke with the HR director she leaves to make a call and he tells us not to let her back in the building. Now we say ok because he is the director and all but WTF kind of dirty move is that? She needed help and the director kicks her out???!!! I felt this was a real dirty move, if they did not want her back in they should have addressed it with her and not tell sukurity to keep her out like she was a bum looking to bath in our restrooms!
I am not sure what came of her but I do know a day later he was told to leave, we deactivated his card and everyone give notice that this person is not to be allowed back on the property. Karma can be a real bitch HA! I do not feel sorry for them, we are all adults here and know what we have to do. Like i know I should not be blogging from work.....sssshhhh dont tell on me or i will hunt you down.....

Sometimes work can be fun! It is also the place i get all my free water. I drink almost a gallon a day now, and if I had to buy my water all the time I would be out about $10 a week! And the water is really helping me with my weight loss. It is a slow process but at least it is going in the direction I want. Remember this picture back in December:

Well here we are now in March and here is what I see today: (ps....that is my new awesome scale i also bought at Target!)





I know its only 5.2 lbs lost but hell at least its a loss and not a gain! And as we speak I and going for my 1.5L of water, water helps to keep that evil monster I have living in me. Its like a tapeworm that never seems to be full, I often wonder if there is something wrong with me. Why am I always hungry? It never seems to go away, I want to eat all the time. One of the things that seems to help me is I stop eating after dinner. As soon as dinner is done I am done eating until the next day, lately we have been done around 1900hrs. So that is almost 14 hours of no food, I get up around 0500hrs but dont usually get to eat until 0700 hrs.
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This week:
1) Seth turns 6, which means avoiding that wondrous gift......CAKE!
2) We have an appointment to see my tattoo artist to talk about my up coming work of art and the wife's first TATTOO!
3) I plan on drinking more absinthe and might even try for an absinthe party...who wants in?
4) Working out is on the menu but lets see what happens.
5) This will be my wife's 3 weekend on her shake diet. She doesnt eat anything but shakes and milk all weekend, I give her credit I might even try it as well but I am not sure I can do it. It has helped her lose weight, not sure how much but it enough to keep her doing it.

Potty time!

Well it's that time again where we must pass along the tradition of teaching the little one on how to properly feed the evil consumer in the bathroom. We where going to try the old 'Everybody Poops' but I went for the 'That is Concentrated Evil Sliding out of You.'
And in all he has been rather excepting of the hole idea of not pissing on himself and the diaper. We recently went up a size in diapers because his fat ass wasnt fitting in the old ones anymore. And now that his bladder is getting bigger we needed something to hold back his flood of yellow happiness.
This morning I get him up and place him on the thrown of deliverance and tell him to go 'KaKa'. Now in any family that speaks Spanish and English this is one of many key words that children with learn in their bi-lingual up bringing. Along with 'aqua' (water) 'come' (eat) and 'Sit the fuck downo'. Adding an 'o' at the end of any word automatically makes it Spanish all ignorant Americans know that!
He sits down to do his thing and his man instincts take over and is compelled to play with his junk. Now mind you I am all for man-handling ones self but not while trying to get as much pee in the potty as possible!

(and yes that picture was altered a bit do to content, and crap on the floor I did not wish to share)
Then I asked him how he felt about soon being free from the wrath of the diaper he said this:

I am not sure what it means but I am sure there is no greater feeling than having the urge to go and just going! Then having your parental slave clean you. Instead of going to the bathroom and having to do it yourself. But in the end he finally gave in and left his deposit and went about his day. I sure hope this doesnt take long, those damn things are $$$$$!

Then, as I make my way back I see the other monkey fast asleep. I swung the camera around and got one of many sleeping pictures of him. He looks so calm, and at peace and quiet here; that is sooo unlike him! But how could he be so calm when Spiderman is in need of help!?!

Then I turned my attention to myself and took on the task of getting ready for my day. I was not sure which suite I wanted to wear so i went with my weekend jump-suite. My good body The Tick gave me this idea. I took on the job as The Sporked Spatula to make some extra money in the morning before work. I go about the town and check ever so closely that every dog and cat has been fixed and de-wormed. It was a task that the local Chinese restaurant sponsors for some reason...I dont care just as long as I get my check and all the Generals Tso's chicken I can eat!

Here is my get-up:


And here is where you can get one too:

Make me a Hero

There's gold in dem gums!!!!!

Well yesterday I went to the dentist and got my gold toof! He has to be one of the best dentist I have ever had and of all the work he has done for me, this one hurt the most. And all he used was an air gun! He took off the temporary cap, cleaned it off and then blasted it with an air gun, and I swear I saw stars! But after that he cemented it in place and he was done with it, I was on my way and one toof close to being a pirate!
You cannt really see it unless I really open wide but I am damn proud of it! The wife thinks its ugly but I like it, I feel valuable now haha. I told her when i die make sure the morgue doesnt get it!
After that ordeal we went to Target to get a few things, one of them a new scale. I swear ours is busted. And sure enough I get on this morning and what do i see......216! Not bad, but this will be my starting point, so next week on Wednesday morning I will weigh myself again and lets see what damage I can do! My food intake has been not so good today, I got a free breakfast sandwich from the cafe guy, bacon egg and cheese on a roll. I could not help it, i gulped that down in like 3 bites lol! So now its up with the water......1.5L so far and no more food until later tonight.
One good part about today is that work has be running around like crazy so I really dont have time to eat too much. I even have to work late.....got to love the over time, so that will help in the not eating crap department. Unless, they have a ton of meeting left overs like last time......I am a vulture when it comes to meeting left overs!
Hope everyone is having a great hump day.....I hope to get some humpings this weekend, I got some on Monday which shocked the hell out of me! I love suprise sex, and hell half of the time it's planned some shit gets in the way and it does not happen anyway! So unplanned suprise sex only makes things that much more enjoyable.

Le Tourment Vert

'For two hundred years absinthe has inspired some of the world's greatest creative minds, from Van Gogh to Hemingway. In search of inspiration we scoured France for an authentic absinthe that could not only be enjoyed in the traditional way (with sugar and water) but was smooth and versatile enough to inspire the creation of a whole new generation of cocktails.

Hand crafted in small batches by Bruno Delannoy of Distillerie Vincet Ege, Le Tourment Vert is unique. A delicate blend of fourteen herbs including Grande Wormwood, Star Anise, Eucalyptus, Sage and Fennel give Le Tourment Vert its unusually palatable flavor and distinctive color. We hope it will inspire you as it has inspired us.'

-Disteillerie Vinet Geg SA, San Francisco , California-

Le Tourment Vert translates to mean 'The Green Torment' which was the name given to it by the powers that be, back in the day when it was banned. It was given a bad rap in hopes people would drink more wine and give up the absinthe.
You see way back some 200 years ago there was a bad drought in Europe and the wine production took a terrible dive. During this time the people of Europe could not do without some form of booze so they turned to absinthe. In that time the people fell in love with this devilish drink and it soon took the place of wine as the drink of choice.
Well, the wine production came back but the level of want did not. The people of power got together and made the plan to demonise this green drink of happiness to help bring people back to wine. Soooooo they being all powerful, they started all kinds of rumors about the dangers of absinthe and how it will make you go mad, blind, and see shit. And as we all know how that works, thank you Reefer Madness, it was all bullshit. I was soon banned and wine came back to the table as number one.
A few years back the 200 year band was finally lifted and it became legal to make, own and drink. But the sigma of its maddening effects still lingered, it also did not help that those who have been known as absinthe drinkers were crazy! I mean why else would Van Gogh cut off his ear....he was drinking absinthe! Or why would Hemingway blow off the top of his skull...he was drinking absinthe and why else would Marilyn Mason kill his career with an emo crap album....he was on absinthe!?! See where I am going with this?
But all in all it is just another form of one of humanities favorite past times....Drinking fermented stuff that gets you high.

Now, as I mentioned in my last post I walked into the Happy Store just to get me some beer and I found this:



The bottle itself was freak cool as hell to boot! This one happens to be only 100 proof, there was another one there that was 138 but it was also 20$ smackers more! And for $50, I was willing to try it. And you know what? I will be back for more! Here are the instructions on how to do the 'Traditional Drip'
1oz. Absinthe
3oz Ice water
1 sugar cube
Place an absinthe spoon (which I don't own as of yet so I used a fork) with the sugar cube on it on top of the glass. Slowly drip the water onto the sugar cube so it melts into the absinthe.
If you use this method it is much easier to drink and does not taste all that bad. But I am lazy and really do not want to wait for my buzz.....so to THE HEAD I go!



It has a really cool color to it as well, it looks, smells and taste like.....mouthwash?!?! But then again most hard liquors smell and taste like gasoline so mouthwash really doesn't seem all that bad in comparison lol.


This is a really cool drawing in the back of the little booklet that comes with it.

So, in my humble opion Le Tourment Vert (pronounced LUH TORMON VEHR) is well worth a try. And the buzz is very different that any other buzz you might get from other liquors. I am not sure if it is offered in bars as of yet but I am sure when they do it is going to a kick in the wallet. Anything exotic atomaticlly has 8$ added to the price!

Weekend round up...

I will have pictures up later, i forgot my camera today :(. But I will be back later today to update that, so until them let me paint a pretty picture with my awesome typing skillz....buwahahahahaha!

Ok, Ok Firday:
I had to work late so on the way home the wife ordered the monster 24 inch pie from Big Apple Pizza and an order of buffalo wings at AppleBee's. Each one of them is on the way home so there was not much of a detour so I made great time. But after AppleBee's I stopped at the happy store, Buy Rite Liquors in Union, NJ. And guess what they now have?!?!?!----Absinthe!!!!!!! They had 4 different kinds one that was 138 proof, which was a bit more than I was willing to pay for but they had a nice one from France that had a really cool bottle. Soooooo I grabbed the one from France and made my way home. I wasnt in the door for 2 seconds when the wife said....'They forgot the blue cheese!' She did not want me to go to the store that was a block away to get some; she wanted the one from AppleBee's! So being the loving husband I am I got back in my car and drove all they way back, exercising my Gear-Fu arts to get there and back in record timing. No big deal really, but I was irritated I was going to have to wait a little longer to get drunk.
Ok, home at last and on with the green fairy! They said back in the day only real fiends drank it straight, so take a wild guess how I was drinking it......STRAIGHT! I did do the old sugar cube and water thing which did make it taste a lot better but the shot helped things more faster haha. And if you know a little about drinking you will know there is a different kinds of drunk for every type of booze. A beer drunk makes me sleepy and hungry, a Jagger drunk will send me into an Irish fit of the punchies, Burbon will make me smile like a retard and rum will make me think I am a pirate extra in those Johnny Depp movies lol.
This drunk was way different; I was alert, no munchies, hyper and capable of playing video games. Now, normally when I drink there are many things I dont do just because I cannt. Sex, driving, speaking clearly and video games. But that night my speech was only slightly slurred, my gaming skills were on point and the sex.....well the wife fell asleep and the only sex that was available was the solo kind. But lets not go there hahahhahaaha!

Saturday: the wife had to work so I spent the whole morning cleaning because that night we where going out to Barnes and Nobel and then I had an appointment with a tattoo artist at Tattooville. That is the same place I have gotten all 3 of my tattoos done, but by three different people. It has the same owner, who is an awesome artist, but I can never get him for some reason. But this guy, Rev. James has come with high praise. And yes he is an ordained minister to the church of I have no idea. But i guess I will have time to get to know him as he does BOTH of my sleeves. I put down a deposit to commission him for this big job. It is going to take a lot of time and money to get this thing done but it something I have always wanted, even back when I was a kid I wanted a complete saturation sleeve! The wife is now looking to get one as well, and I find that SO FING HOT! She has got the be the best match for me, no one could ever take her place!
So we have a little chat with him, he takes some measurements, my money and says he will call me in about a month to set another appointment to go over what he has drawn up. We are going to see him again this coming Wednesday to see about the little woman's ink. She is terrified of it hurting but in all honesty once they finish it you want another! It might hurt but the end result is so worth it, well at least to me it is!

Sunday:
I had to work 7-3, which in all was not bad. It gave me a chance to print out my monthly reports with little to no distractions. On Sunday there isnt anyone around so I cranked up the music and went to work. And as I spun around in my chair Micheal J Fox style A lady comes to the window to sign in saying she is going to one of the building for a moment, no biggie. But then she asks if I was ready for the storm? I dont watch much TV so I was at a lost to what she was talking about. Well....it would seem that a HUGE winter storm was heading our way and i had no idea! I mean nothing was going to change in my world other than getting up earlier than usual to clean snow.
Well nothing happened all day but later that night as we watched the movie 'Death Race' it started to snow, and HARD! But I was really too into watching this crap Hollywood remake to even notice. The movie was shitty at best but had me glued to my seat. The action was great, the cars awesome, the realistic factor superb, the acting....so so and the story line as transparent as G.W.'s lie 'We are looking for weapons of mass destruction!' Well, maybe not that bad but you knew what was going to happen and who wasnt going to make it. But I did make a bad call, I thought the one geeky guy was going to get smoked but didn't. But over all I would call this a 'Fun Movie' dont think about it too much and dont analyse it to death. But it was missing at least one good titty shot, that alone might have raised the likable factor up a notch.

Monday:
I wake up to hear my son's school is closed, there is a little bit of snow out there but nothing bad. So I get up and.....fall back to sleep! Luckily one of my coworkers called out and woke my ass up. Giving me just enough time to get dressed, clean off my car and the wife's......(see another example of how great of a husband I am!) and get my ass to work. I was 10 minutes late because none of the side streets were cleared and my car sucks nasty balls in these conditions! I made it though with out fish tailing or hitting anyone. It is now 1030 am and it has started snowing again....going home today should be fun. I think I will stay in and drink my green liquid of happiness and watch the madness.

Oh I missed this one from last Friday: