Another day in my life.....

I missed the Monday round up just because I am a lazy shit. Now its Tuesday and I have cleared out just about everything I needed to do for the day.....and its only 0815! So I now have to time to bs a little. So, now I bring you:
Phil's Weekend Round Up!
Friday:
Well, i have been feeling a bit bummed for about a week now. Bills are pilling up, we did our taxes and the money we are 'going' to get back is already gone. Bill collectors calling, email reminders of how much in the hole I am in and a general feeling of doom and gloom has been clouding my mind. I keep telling myself that it isnt so bad; we both have jobs, the kids are healty and insane, we have a nice apartment, we both have cars with no major issues, we get to go out all the time, I am married to my best friend and that everything else is generally OK. But ever get that little tick of uneasiness that you just cannt shake? Well I do so I did what any other red blooded American would do in times like this: I called up the Captian and got hammared!
After work I called up Pete and ask him if he wanted to walk to the happy store so i could pick up something cheap and easy. I was going for some Wild Turkey but this store did not carry it, so I went for the smaller bottle of Captain and some diet coke......hey I am still on a diet after all! So I ended up drinking, playing COD4 and listening to the movie Trainspotting. There are some movies I can just listen to while doing other things. Trianspotting is one, Fear and Loathing, Equalibrium and Full Metal Jacket are a few others I can do the same with.
I was doing real shitty on COD4 until my drunk turn into full inebriation! At first it was, the more I drank the worse I got; but then......I became the god of the game! I won at least 4 rounds and I was so drunk I was literally rolling on the floor while playing. I love wireless controlers!
The wife had a touch of the stomach flu so she had been out cold since she came home at 1700hrs. So I got the kids washed, feed and in bed before I started my own one man frat party. The kids were well asleep before I became a wild animal.
But around 0300 hrs she woke up and told me it was time to go to be, the kids would be up soon and I since she wasnt feeling all that great it would be me doing most of the work......

Saturday:
I got up around 0800 and funny enough no hang over. I did smell a bit off but that is what rum will do to ya! I did some chores and got the kids out and about. Then at 1200hrs a friend called and asked if I wanted to go shooting. Fuck yeah! So we made a play date/time to meet at Ray's Sport shop in Watchung, NJ @ 1300hrs. He brought his S&W .40 cal and about 500 rounds of amo. I took my camera but they had strict rules about no picture taking so all I was able to get was this:



The .40 was a bit of a beast but once I found my spot I was golden. I am not saying I was a marksman but I did hold my own. It has been almost 2 years since I last shot anything so cut me some slack! One funny thing about the range was that the stales we had to use where a bit tight. So everytime a bullet was fired it sent the spent shell flying back at you! And I must say having a hot shell fly down the front of your shirt isnt the most pleasnt of things lol!
Now, Ray's is set to shut down which is a sad day in NJ history. This place has been a land mark for almost 45 years, and from the look of the bathroom they have not changed much since they first opened their doors:



We found out that the owner has sold the land to the Nissan dealer next store and they have plans to demo the building to put in a bigger dealership. And that is just what we need in times like this: Nissan laying off over 200, 000 people (I might have my numbers wrong so dont quote that) and our government in a financial shitter. Because we all know that with so many people losing their jobs that there is a huge rush to buy new cars!
You know what,,,, fuck Nissian and fuck everyone else that has had a hand in creating this mess. I am not about to go into a rant about what I read today about this whole plan of Barack Hussein Obama. All I have to say about it is this: Buisness as usual!

Sunday:
I got another call this time from old buddy Pete who wants to go bowling. So we (Me, wife, Seth, Lucas, Devon and Alan) all pack in the car and head down to the alley. In all our group comes to 11 people in all, 3 games, 3 lanes, and 9 pairs of shoes comes to $225! Since when did bowling become so exspensive?!?! I forgot my camera, which pissed me off to no end but what can one do?
I did break out my old ball from like 12 years ago! I used to be in a leauge....come on I am white after all! It is like a right of passage for all honkeies, get tattooed, join a bowling leauge and make fun of Democrates.....well I make fun of any political sides, its how I get by without crying sometimes.
Here is my ball:



After 3 games and 2 pitchers of the worst watered down beer I have ever had I now know I need to be drunk to do better. Bowling is one sport that I get better at as the drinking gets heavier! First game, sober: 79. Second game, getting there: 112. Third game, there: 125. See, now all I have to do is make sure if I do join any leauge again that I start with at least one pitcher in me!

I did take some random pictures around the house over the weekend. I am not sure what day they where taken on but that really doesnt matter I guess:

1) Our son has found his medium: The walls. Here we have a budding Picaso, I was a bit concerned when I asked him who that was and he said 'Me, dats Seth!' But after asking if he like to wear dresses he did say that only girls and sailors named Lawrence wore dresses. And that he was a boy and his name was Seth. I felt much better!


2) We let him play with his computer and even though it has been a while since he has used it, he did not forget one thing. He has the look of someone trying to take over the world, there is hope for him yet!



3) Here we have one of those moments that reasures me why I should not eat my young.



4) And I know I did not take this one but I found it on the internet and had to share. I recently put a photoshop program in my computer so I might be making a few of these myself. But until then I would like to share something that made me smile....................


I still think she is hot....and that Madonna really needs to stop taking off her top! She is like that creepy old bar fly that is WAY past her prime.



This Just In!
Here are two pictures that I just took as I went to the bathroom to wash off the orange I had on my hands:
1) I know I have posted this is the past but it now has a brother.....

2) and this is the new one I saw as I was walking back to my office.....

Does anyone see a pattern here?

7 years and counting....

I am retarded.....its Hump Day and I just noticed I have a case of retardation! I started this post on 12/14/2008 and for some reason I never finished it, and while I was trolling around my own blog I noticed it said 'draft' next to it. And I was all like WTF? I am sooo glad my wife only drops in here once in a while, she would have kicked my ass if I missed this one! So with out any more delay I give you: The Post That Was Lost In Draft!

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We went out to a fancy resturant last Friday to celebrate 7 years of marriage, which the actual day was Dec. 8th. But it fell on a Monday so we put it off until Friday. We went to a portgueuse place in Roselle, NJ called Solar De Minho. Some super fancy place that was said to have great food. I am all up for new places so i was game.

The decor was very cool, if I ever win the lottery I am going to have my house designed like this.





The food was not all that in my book. I had lobster tails stuff with crab meat and the wife has this steak thing. The lobster was rubbery and the steak was....well just a steak. We did get a huge pitcher of sangria that I later learned cost $14! I could have made 3 pitcher for that price!

Here we have the wife unit all smiles, because even though the food was so so we were out alone with no kids and enjoying each others company.

The wife wanted me to smile nice for the camera but when cameras are pointed at me this strange thing happens to me: I become retarded. Not that being a retard is all that different from my normal demeanor.

But I did try my best on the second try, man I have a hugeeeee head!


At the table we were at, we got a full view of the kitchen area. I am not sure why they have the kitchen set up like this. I mean I really do not care to see the little people behind the scenes when I go out on the town. I mean if I am going to live a momment like a rich person I want the whole effect; Doors magically open with my aide, my drinks never going past the half empty mark, more forks and spoons than I know what to do with and having lackies bending over backwards for me getting me my diet water with limes with no rines!

After the meal we had the dessert, or is it desert!?!, I am not sure and do not feel the need to look it up. Maybe I can have one of my office lackies do it later for me. The wife had this mouse thing that was death by sugar.

And I had this artisy fartsy chocolate and rasberry mouse dish that came in a chocolate bowl. And the whole time I was eating it I kept thinking, "How the hell am I going to lick off that chocolate and carmel lines without looking like a mad cow?" I did manage a few swipes of the finger but did not do the all out plate in the air lick as I wanted to.

In the end with tip and all this little adult outing cost my credit card $150! It took a poker face and a wine induced steady hand not to freak out at sticker shock. I have class when I want to have class!

(next thought still from original post)

Last week we gave one of my wife's IT guys an old laptop I have had in my closet, to see if he can fix it. Well he did and even did a whole bunch of extra things for us. Like adding an internal something or rather that allows him to play on the internet anywhere in the house. I am not all that savy on these things but it has something to do with this router thing my wife hooked up. Dont know how it works, but me and my CoD4 is glad it does.

I was shocked at how well he was able to naviagate the laptop and fast he figured out how to get to cartoon network and playhouse disney. I now have to add some parental guards to keep him out of those other places he might want to wander to!


When I told him we had to get him a new mouse because the one on the laptop did not work that well he said, 'No dadda's this is the mouse.' Pointing at the mouse pad on the keyboard. I was shocked because this was the first time he had ever used this one. He will be running circles around me in no time. This is why I try to keep up on what is new and going on, I dont want to be like my ex and clueless to what is in my childs world. Now, I am not going to one of those parents that use the new jive of the day but at least when he speaks I know what he is saying.

Here is a test for all you parents to see how up to speed you really are on what most kids these days know (I might have missed a few so please let me know if I missed any):

What is-

1. Emo


2. Text Language: LOL, WTF, STFU


3. Shoes, as it related to cars


4. Tweaking


5. YouTube


6. Parkour


7. Ricer ( this one is rather old)

I think I had more on this topic and I think I even did a post in the past about people being out of the loop but since this post is over a month old I dont remember. But this ooppss on my part has shown me that I need to go throught my blog one of these days and do some cleaning. I wont remove any post, even if they are horribly written and pointless. If I posted it then it needs to remain......Oh and if the wife is reading this, I am sorry.....:-x

Weekend round up.....

1) On Friday the wife was invited to a birthday party of one of the cops that watch the bank she works at. I was not sure how it was going to turn out, it was being held at a bar I would not venture to in the day light let alone go there at night! But as the night wore on and the free beer kept jumping at me I was alllllll right. It was strange having people I didnt know buy me dirnks but if you want an instant friend...buy me BEER!

The birthday boy got an awesome cake made to resemble his favorite drink....Dewarts. I tried to get a picture of it but it was so dark they all came out crappy. But let me tell you it was great, it stood about a foot in hight and looked like a real bottle!

One of the cool parts of the bar was this digital junk box, it was $1 a song or 12 songs for $5. Me and the missus kept attacking it because if you did not feed it, it would randomly play crappy spanish music. Now I am not saying spanish music sucks.....ok yes I am .....I cannt stand typical spanish music, just as I am sure most people that listen to that would loath my punk and metal taste. Which is why i subjected them to it by force; by putting in my cash and playing everything from Flogging Molly, NOFX, Nickleback, Seether and Mega Death. Take that you non english speaking bar maids! And yes there were 3 TIGHT pants wearing bar maids there serving us our drinks. But several things to note about that:

1) When you are a bartender it is usually a bad idea to get drunk with everyone else....bad buisness.

2) Big Boobs does not equal good bar service. These had to be the worse bar tenders I have ever had. Ok, the whole not being able to speak english did not help but come on....Vodka Sour isnt rocket science! Watching her make me a rum and coke was down right painful!

3) And if you do get drunk while working; going into the crowd and pinching everyones butt is also a no-no in the bartenders hand book. Lets just say I did not point out she pinched my butt with the wife standing right next to me.....I actually thought it was my wife until she pointed out that the bartender was pinching everyone elses butt that night. Oh what a nightmare that would have been.

Also not to mention my wife had 4 beers! I know no one here knows my wife but she never drinks beer, that was just too awesome in my book!

But while I was there I did notice something that got me giggling to myself. Does anyone remember those Coors Light,or was it Bud....., commercials back in the 80's? You know, the one where the guy asks the bartender for a 'Light' and all kinds of craziness would happen? Well, I do and this clock made me think of them:




All in all it was a good night, our cop friend offered us a police escourt home but the wife said she ok to drive.....I need more cop friends i think.Never know when you might need a favor lol. We get home and, I learned later, that i passed out on the bed sideways. The wife isnt strong enough to roll me so she tried in vain to wake me. But when that failed she said she resorted to the only thing she could think of the get me 'up'........thats right, she started nut slapping until I moved. What where you thinking hmmmmmmm? Dirty minded fools, well actually I thought that was what she was going to tell me too! But I was to drunk to notice or remember the assualt. And she said it bearly worked, man I must have been assed out!

2) Saturday went by pretty normal, not even a hang over, until the night fell. Seth woke up around 2300hrs and started vomitting. And continued this every 10-15 minutes until 0500 Sunday morning. I was up playing COD4 so every other game I was running to his room to race him over to the toliet. I did no plan on staying up that late playing but I figured if I was going to be awake all night mine as well make something out of it. I finally got to sleep around 0430 when I turned vomit patrol over to the wife. She said he got up 2 more times after that but I was out and did not hear a thing!

3) Sunday, I got a present from the ex when she decided not to go to church on Super Bowl Sunday at 0930, and I got to keep the oldest a little longer. He spent the night over at the inlaws house to play with Alan, and his Xbox. We joined him later that morning, Seth woke up as cheerful and insane as he usually does. No one would have known by the look of him that he spent the whole night blowing chunks!
Off to the inlaws we went, I played outside on the ice with the boys. It would seem that the side of the house has a water problem creating a pond of ice. We spent some time sliding about on it, I got pretty banged up, even bruised my knee. Nothing big, just annoying the next day. From there we went outback for some snow soccer and snow balling. After we frozed our fingers off we went in to defrost. later on that afternoon it got a lot warmer and we were able to back out. No jackets needed at that point, so Alan brought out his skyrunners to get some practise.

1) Getting them on is an adventure in itself!

2) He said it is like learning to walk all over again!

3) The mud made for a perfect place to fall if need be, but the left over ice was most unwanted.

4) After about 30 minutes or so he just about had it down pat!




5) The hardest part about them he said was just standing still. He even was able to do a few hops by the end of his exercise.

6) I took a quick video with my Olympus, the battery was about to die so I only got a few seconds of it. This was his first walk in the street. After about 4 trips up and down the street he no longer needed a hand....or head in the wife's case.




We had a good number of people stopping and starring, I wish I had gotten the a video of him walking and doing the princess wave to passing cars. I was waiting for someone to crash while watching him do his thing lol.
The rest of Sunday went rather well, ate, did laundry, ate again and steam clean the living room floors. All this snow and salt is causing hell on the floors in the house!
And Shelia I did weigh in this weekend, I will get a picture of it soon. I weighed in at 213.5!
I started at 222, so I have lost 8.5 pounds in just over 2 weeks! I am getting serious damn it and I will have a flat gut come this beach season! I have not been 200 lbs in many years, I want to be there by summer. I still have to get my ass in gear as far as working out in conserened, got the diet thing down now on to sweating!

His first time....

Last night (1/27/2009)was Seth's first trip to the dentist. So I get home get him changed and brush our teeth. But then as I am getting myself changed I see him running from the kitchen, with a mouth full of cookies! So it was back to the bathroom for another brushing. But this time I instructed him not to eat, I forgot I had to add that part in on round one.

So our teeth are ready and off we go!

Now as you can see he doesnt have many teeth. He is almost 6 and many of his baby teeth have already been snatched up by the tooth fairy. But never the less we needed to go and see the doc.

Over all the doc gave him a good bill of health. He said that he had no cavities and that we need not to worry about his grown up teeth. They are on there way. Seth did a very good job at not squirming around too much .

But he was no real fan of the flouride protection jell. In his words, 'Daddy that was nasty!'

Then it was my turn for a deep cleaning and a check up.

Seth asked to have his picture taken again so the two crazed monkeys got ready to fling some pooh!

In the end the doc said my teeth and gums were healthy but i have 3 cavities and I need a crown on a cracked tooth. He went on to say the reason behind all of my cavities is because of how my teeth formed. He told me that the very surface is to blame, there are little valleys that I cannt brush that form most of my cavities. But the crown is needed because one of the back tooth that cracked! But he said it can be saved and I am in line for a gold tooth soon. Yes, i said GOLD TOOTH! He said he likes to use gold on back teeth because it is pliable and less likely to break. He said if it was a front tooth he would have used porcialian. So I am one tooth closer to my gold grill bitchs!

I started this post last week but due to my slacker ways I am just getting in out now. I will have another post very shortly about this past weeked. Highlights of my weekend....

1) Getting hammered with a bunch of cops

2) Up to 0400hrs with son frowing up....ewww

3) Ice and snow balls

4) Alan and his skyrunners

5) My weigh in....and its good!

Help is only a button away:

This is the device they have at the one of the locations we monitor to help those that are mentally challenged when it comes to first aide. But there are a few snags I see. If you find a terrorist that has a bleeding eye wound you will know just what to do. But if you find an illegal immigrant with a splinter and has explosive diarrhea you are shit out of luck. And also if you cannot read English or Spanish then the person in need will just have to suck it up and be a man about their congestive heart failure!

Who needs paramedics when you have 'The HomeLand Security 911 in a Box'?


And just in case reading isnt your thing the use of racially diverse dummies will walk you step by step in figuring out what to do if you are ever in a gang land shooting and you are the last man standing.(notice the tits on the one holding the box, too hot for me!)



Over the weekend some kids thought one of our company trucks was missing something. So they thought it would be a fun idea to lend a hand. They did, and gave him his own set of balls! There was more paint done but not wanting to blab to the world where I work I thought I would only show the funniest one. If that was me doing the paint i would have put Mr.Willie on the side of the truck 10 feet high! Nothing says, I am funny like a giant penis on the side of you company van!


And speaking of where I work, one of the perks of where I work is: Free Shit! Once in a while they will give us their extras, and I take them home and hand them out like candy on Halloween! I cannt post what company I work for, and if someone figures it out and post it I will delete their comment, so play nice and if you want to guess spell it backwards or use a code. I have no desire to have someone google my company and find themselves looking at my blog!



Now Sheila has started up her workout and post about what she is doing I thought I might us her as a motivation to put down the PSP and workout for once. I have been somewhat drawn into the COD4 world and it is eating up alot of my time. I have to put it down and only play on my off days from my workout. Everyday is a bit too much, so starting today I brought this to work:
I weighed in at 220 this morning. I just wanted to cry!


And so far I have not gone insane. One protein shake for breakfast, lots and lots of water and fruit will get me through my day. Its 1305hrs now and I swear if I see one more office doughnut I will kill someone!
But if I want this:



I had better put this away:


Hope everyone is having a great Monday! Mine has been insane so far, which i like.