feeling stoopid

The Chase.....

2012-01-17T19:42:00.002-05:00

I am not sure if admitting to breaking driving laws openly will get me into trouble so I am going to do this in story telling mode....*so wink wink* This is just a fictitious story about a man named CN and his adventure with da man!

The Chase

CN was sitting in traffic when his cell phone went off, it was work again. He has been on this electric for almost 10 years now, and it is really starting to take its toll on his mental health.

"Hello CN speaking." He said with little to no emotion in his voice.

And just as he put the tool that is slowly giving him brain cancer to his ear, he saw the police car pass by him. Whatever the squawking employee was droning on about fell into the back ground as CN looked into the rear view mirror and saw the cop trying to pull a k-turn four cars back.

CN has seen this type of trick used more than once, the last time it ended with his car being towed and a ticket for 'unclear plates'. Which was contested and was thrown out; Cop one :Pissed off civilian one!

And this looked just like another one of those moments. Lets see what possible tickets CN could get:

Possible talking on cell phone while driving and a definite busted tail light.

But CN saw his ticket out, the light had turned green and the box truck in front of him was turning right. As he made the turn along with the truck he made his move, the street he was turning onto was a high bridge going over some train tacks; which would also play into his game. Now, it was late and the road he was on went one of two place, the main highway or the back poorly lit roads for the industrial side of town.

With less than 60 feet to make his move CN floored it, cut off the box truck just as they went over the bridge, banged a hard right that lead into the industrial side, killed all the light and slammed the pedal down as if he was aiming for the street! CN looked in his review mirror just as the cop cross the intersection heading toward the highway. He then turned the lights back on and eased up on the gas, he was coming up to a popular titty bar and there were always cops hanging out there. The last thing he wanted was a speeding ticket.

CN then turned off the main road and made his way back to the highway via the side streets. This was not unfamiliar territory to CN, the old cemetery, the refinery and the everyday blue color town was where he spent his jr. high years. There is no better way to learn the roads of a town than on a bicycle and this was where CN was.

Within minutes he was back on the highway obeying every single law that was ever written governing the rules of the police state in which he lived.

The Moral of the story, dont break traffic laws and never under estimate the power of a well thought out escape plan.

Now like I said this is just a fun story of CN and his brush with the law, and if you dont know who CN is then you dont know me very well. But Since I am in a good mood I will tell you......

CN is the greatest man known to man, he once explained sound to a deaf person! CN is Chuck Norris!

In with the new

2012-01-06T07:53:00.003-05:00

So here we are, it's the end of the world as we know it. And it does not seem any different. Except the fact I am now blogging from my super awesome iPhone! Yep I am going super geek on this post, the only draw back is I cannt put pictures in here from my iPhone. Well I probably can I just have not figured out how to do it as of yet. Does anyone know how to add photos to your blog when posting from your phone?

And speaking of super geek I had to make a stop at the Apple store in the Menlo mall last week to reset my old iPod for my son. It was weird, geeky and fast. The only draw back was I had to make an appointment first, which was not that big of a deal and to be honest made it that much faster. I walked in, gave the door nerd my name and appointment time and then went on in. Within a few minutes I have numerous people helping me and asking me questions, we could not have been there for more than 30 minutes and we were out. No problems and no extra charge, how awesome is that? If I had the money I would probably Apple-ize my whole house! But that shit is expensive but the tech support beats anything I have ever seen.

But we all know Steve Jobs was working for the devil and his machines will in slave us this year. Because that ancient round calander has for told that this is the end.......or that they figured 2012 was as far into the future they wanted to go. They were probably like, 'Dude do you really think we are going I make it to 2012? Hey look over there, yeah in the water look at that huge boat with giant sails on it. Let's fo meet them on the beach.'

Yeah I am pretty sure it went something like that lol. But hey I am not going to even give the idea of the world ending a second thought. It's all good and this is the year we move to CA for fuck sakes, only new and better things for us!

But let me get back to work I will be back I just love the fact I can now blog just about from anywhere now, I am like a moble hack with delusions of being a writer hahaha. Yeah ok, I am just another schmuck with a blog and a smart phone doing stupid things.

Wow its still here!

2011-12-28T06:25:00.006-05:00

Life is as life does, and the blog suffers. I have moved on and at each turn I miss a great chance to come in and blog about it, why am I such a slacker? I know I know, life is so distracting. I mean I was at the mall the other day and all those lights and buzzers made me completely forget that I went in there to pick up some socks.....holy shit Old Navy has pants on clearance and all those window dummies in the need of molesting, I mean who could resist that?!?!

But I have been wrestling with the idea to just shut this bitch down but I just cannt bring myself to hit that delete button. So I decided to try once again to bring out the old shock paddles and the morphine and save this blog. Because all the video games have taught me morphine and shock paddles can save anyone from anything including bullets!

So, lets do a recap that is all over the place. Which is fine because that is how my life has always been any how so why should my blog be any different lol. Three more classes down, International Business (B), Principles of Economs II (B+) and Commercial Development of the Internet (?). Yeah still waiting on the last grade but I am pretty sure I passed :-D
I have less than a year to go before I and done with this shit, and then its off to find that dream job. But with my luck they will want a PhD or some other bullshit haha!

All the kids are doing awesome, absolutely no complaints there; Lucas is 5 and reading Seth is 8 and doing math that I cannt even do and Devon is 16 and is chasing girls like he is on a mission. So yeah all the kids are doing great, and Santa was good to them all!

The wife is still trying to get a job in Cali, we set a dead line for this year as the do or die for our move out of NJ. Its time to move on and this is the year we are going to do it, one way or another. She is trying to get into a graduate program to further her education in the HR field, one more thing to ad to the resume. You can never have enough when it comes to padding your resume.

I am moving up the ranks in my Masonry, the picture above was the party they had for all those who are moving up the ranks, I am now the Marshal. But as most people know, that is about all I can say about that. Its my special man club, and if you want to know more you will have to ask me on a more personal medium than my blog.

Work is work, its what I do to make money not define me in any other way. I have a job that is micro-managed to a 'T' and my attitude towards that has changed. To the effect that I will not allow it to get to me as much as it used to. When I leave work I leave it at work, enough said.

We took the kids to see the city this year, the typical touristy stuff, Rockefeller, the tree and the usual stuff that out of towners do when in the city. I love the city but there is no way in hell I would ever live there, its just to damn stressful. I mean one day of wandering around there and I wanted to kill someone! But we did have fun and the kids loved it, but I think Lucas loved the train ride above all. I swear that kid will someday have a job with trains, he is mental over anything trains!

See, he just loves Thomas!

You should have seen the line to get on the ice! I am not that big on ice skating but I would like to get on the ice just once so I can say I did it lol

They had these professional photographers out here taking holiday photos. But I was not about to ask what they were charging. Its NYC so you know they are robbing people blind for crap like this. I mean hell all you really need is photoshop people, and dont give the crap about the 'experience'! Its that type of mentality that lets these assholes charge so much for a damn picture.

We were going to take the ride up to the observatory deck but again we did not have to time to go to the bank to take out a loan for the elevator ride. Remember its the holiday season so everything gets a 70% increase in price.

I did take a picture of the corporate side of my company, a place I have lots of dealings with but never been there hahaha.

But in all life is still moving on, people have passed on and we miss them as we all move on. We lost a family member, Willie. My wife's little brother, he will be sorely missed but he will be with us always. He had a hard time in the lifetime but he was always smiling and will always be remembered that way.

I also lost an old friend, he lived his life like it was an 80's party to the very end. We had not spoken in years, he moved and we lost touch but I did hear from my mom that he passed. His mom and my mom are friends, and that is how I found out. It is hard to say how I feel about it, we were close for a time but life got in the way and we moved on. I am sad that I did not keep in touch and sad I never tried to contact him over the years. But, that is all I can say about that.

My ex-fatherinlaw passed away, Joe. He was a good man, hard working and loyal to a fault. He was one of those men that wanted to die with his boots on, and he almost got his wish. He was working just about up to the very end. He was a hard worker that just never seemed to stop but he also knew how to have fun and was a generous man with everything he had.

So in summing up this year we all have lived, loved and lasted. We lived our lives as all people should, loved everyone even though we know they wont stay with us forever and lasted in the since that we are all still here and moving on. Life moves on unless you made the choice not to allow it to, and for me that will never be the plan. They will all be missed but I will carry them all with me into the future, its almost 2012 and I am nowhere near done with this life. I hope all the best for everyone in this up coming year, lets see what it brings. For the good, the bad and even the ugly I cannt wait to see what it holds for all of us.

Absent and Broken

2011-10-04T23:42:00.004-04:00

Times are hard all around so I just thought I would get my ass on here and bitch about my hard times. I know everyone is taking a huge bite of this shit sandwich, but I am here to describe what my mouthful taste like.
Like most people I have been spending on a borrowed dime. I cannot even call it the 'Wimpy Effect'. You know the old, "I will pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.' Yeah I am a little old school like that.
Well, we have been living like this and it has finally come down to this fact: We are working full time jobs just so that we can drown slowly. I am telling all this with sincere shame in my eyes. It is to the point that if we cannot get someone to co-sign a loan we will be moving back in with her parents.
And that isn't as bad as it seems but once you get a taste of having your own place it is hard to move back in with someone. Hell, I have had to do it......three times in my life! And it isn't because we have top of line cars or cloths, it comes down to the little things that have put us here. Our want to build credit and the lack of control to keep our spending under control. Ha, I feel like a government official except I don't have a scapegoat or a huge bail out.
But I think I have it all wrong, and in comparison to the rest of the world our debt is pennies. I mean last I checked the US owes soo much money I am not even sure where to put the commas in the number!
But yet that does not help me with the fact we are down to the last straw, and I don't want to file for bankruptcy again......yes I filed about 11 years ago. Its a long story filed with an ex wife, a lack of control and me not helping out with the finances in my world. And it sucks to know I am back in the same hole now just that this time I am not going through a divorce on top of it. I came here to clear my head and all I seem to be doing is making it worse.
I am in the last year of my college, which by the way sucks but whatever. I am trying to get this degree to help me get a job that pays more........so I can owe even more down the road. I mean if you are going to sin......sin big! No one cares if you owe tens of thousands of dollars. But get in over your head for a million and you could probably work out a talk show deal and maybe even a book. Getting into debt is easy but getting into a financial hole that would rival the problems in Greece, well that is a full time job!
I am to the point of even looking for a weekend job, which I really do not want to do. The weekend is the only thing I have let to keep me from losing my mind. It is my only time to let loose. I drink cheap beer and watch movies on Netflix. It is not much but its all I have the energy for. Once upon a time I worked out and I even try to start it up now and again, but I find I have noting pushing me for it. I have never been this tired and this stressed in my life. No where to go and no way to fix it. I know in time I will look back at this and shake my head, and I am soo looking forward to that day. Because the here and now is not where I want to be.

In closing I will say I just came here for some blogging therapy, I read the paper and see how bad other people have it. In the last big storm in Jersey, I got to read just how bad things can get. So I wont cry into my beer for myself, I will hold my head up and hope for a better tomorrow. For us all, for everyone that needs a hand because sometimes the things that we want are not the things that we need nor are they the things that we get. My life is stressful, its a whirl wind of unknowns, its uncertain, it brings me to tears when I know no one can see me but its my life. In a few years I will be able to stand a little taller knowing I made it through, and maybe with a little luck I will be little lighter too......because all this stress is killing my waist line!

I cannot end this with such a bummer. I will share with all a music video that has infected my brain and has helped me smile when I seemed to have lost my ability to smile. I must thank the members of the band LMFAO for this: I am Sexy and I Know it

Aftermath Irene in NJ

2011-09-09T09:45:00.004-04:00

This post has been sitting in my edit box for way too long. Between school, work, life and my procrastination lifestyle it just has not been able to get out. As most people know NJ got slammered by a hurricane, that followed an earth quake, that was then followed by days and days of heavy rain.....man I hate to say it but 2012 here we come. Dont worry, be happy......because its almost over hahahaha.
But seriously Jersey was hit pretty hard. My general area, and I mean about a four block radius of my house, did not suffer too much. But the rest of the state did not do so well. In the town by my mom, Manville NJ, just about floated away. The town was hit hard, but that is what happens when a town is built up around a river, and then man builds canals all over the place. Just a side note here, look into the area you are planning on moving into. If they have had flooding problems in the past odds are they wont get better as time goes on. Example:

Man buys house, hurricane comes and destroys his house, house is located in area nick named 'Hurricane Alley', why is man surprised a hurricane destroyed his house?

I am not trying to be mean or unsympathetic to people that lost so much in this past disaster, I just hope some people have learned from this. And that they had insurance, hell I live in an apartment and I learned my lesson about having insurance.......after I got robbed!

Here is a shot of one of the numerous side streets I passed in downtown Manville. Its hard to see because of that stupid car, but all the way down the street both sides are lined with people's belongings. Like I said before I sure hope they had insurance.

I tried to get a shot of the tree line as I went under an under-pass, but taking pictures while driving can be some what problematic. But you can see how high the water level had gotten. If I had been in this very spot 2 days prior to taking this, I would have been completely under water!

The town put up a sign to try and deal with anyone thinking of looting or garbage picking.....the town of Manville will prosecute you if you are caught touching anything that doesn't belong to you. Now if this was down south it might have read: "Touch my shit I will shot you, survivors will be shot again!"

Yeah that means you!

The water level here had to be almost 8 feet high! A river side restaurant sounds nice.....until a hurricane comes through!

The bushes show where the water level was at, I am going to in the area again soon and will take some 'after' shots.

Clean up was well under way, the whole town was in clean up mode when I was driving through. And again look at the bushes, I would not have wanted to be where I was standing 2 days ago!

But on the way out it was reassuring to see that the sticker car made it out. I see this car almost every time I drive through here. The owner is just a crazy looking and decorated as their car.

This last picture was taken at an under pass by my house. This area floods when it drizzles, so just imagine what happened when Irene came down! Well you dont have to imagine, I have a picture of it right here. This car remained here for almost a week before some removed it. Is it me or did this seem like a bad idea from the start?

We did get a little water in our basement but nothing in comparison to what others got. My job was without power for a week after the storm. There was a back up generator but the powers that maybe wanted to be cheap and did not hook up our office area to it. Yes it was in the original plan but the company I work for is all about band-aide solutions and stepping over a dollar to get a quarter. So they saved some money up front but lost in the end when disaster hit. Oh well, its not my problem I still got paid. Got paid to sit in the dark and sleep, I cannt complain it was a nice break before school started up haha.

Vacation is over and now its back to work

2011-09-07T12:04:00.008-04:00

What an awful title to a blog post! But sometimes the truth hurts lol. I am starting my first real week of my last YEAR IN COLLEGE! It is going to one hell of a year, but I know it will be over before I know it. So lets GET IT ON! Its on like Donkey Kong!

But Lets not talk about those nasty tid bits of life, even though some of the up coming bits of life do suck. But lets start with the good parts and talk about our weekend camping get away with the kids:

We packed up the kids and gear and headed off to Stokes State Forrest out in Branchville, NJ. It has always been the place to go when the camping bug bites us. It was the one of the first places I took my girlfriend, now wife, on vacation. It isn't really roughing it but it is enough for us lol.

Who wants something to eat from Dale's? Dale's market is always our last stop before we venture into the land of bugs, ticks and bears!

Here is our site, the only real problem with Stokes is that it is soooo damn rocky. You cannot really stake down a tent right, there isn't any dirt!

The whole trip consisted of us telling the kids to stop running, because we knew what was going to happen. And sure enough Lucas was the first to get first aid because of fall. It only stopped him for a few minutes though lol

This year we went with a lean-to instead of a tent. Note to self: Bring more padding for sleeping on and some industrial wasp/bug/spider spray! I did love the stove they had in there, its the same type I would love to have in my house someday.

This year we went with our neighbors, we were supposed to have lean-tos right next to each other but that one had some problems with hornets. Don't you just hate it when mother nature gets in the way?

The best part about camping? The FIRE! I don't know what it is about chopping wood and burning it, but god damn it I love doing it!

My mom gave us some farm fresh pork chops and sausage to take with us. And I must say that stuff was 100 time better than any meat I have ever bought at the supper market!

And the next best part: Smores and camp fire stories. I don't know where they got the idea from but they wanted scary stories by the campfire. They must have been watching the same show or something. So we all took turns trying to scare them, I told a pretty good one. But while the wife was telling hers I 'went out to pee' and crept up behind them and scared the bah-jesus out of them. Memories that will last a life time hahahaha

I do love camping but I sure did love the shower I took when I got home. But I must say this time around we did not over pack. I am bad at that, I always prepair for every possible thing. So I end up with soooo much damn crap that I spend more time packing and un packing than anything else. I did forget a few items but nothing major.

Things to remember for next trip:

Spatula, I had to use my butcher knife this time.

A big bucket, luck for us our neighbors remembered one

My tackle box, again lucky we went with other people

No rinse camp soap

Hornet spray

And make sure the first aid kit is well stocked with bandages, we used them all up this time around :-D

Semi Product and day at the park

2011-08-05T07:37:00.005-04:00

The wife bought these Topsy-Turvey planters, I know I spelled that wrong but most people know what I am talking about. She got the strawberry, the jalapenos one and the tomato planters. Well after much watering and care I will say not to bother with them. Planting them the old fashion way works better. The strawberries were an absolute failure, the peppers were so so at best, and as of now no tomatoes. We have some possible flowers that might become food but as of now we have not had anything worth bothering with. So if you ask me, dont bother with these things, you want to grow some food? Dont be lazy and go dig up a garden lol

Day at the park:
Took the kids to the Phil Rizzuto park in Elizabeth, NJ right on Morris ave, across the street from my nemeses....Kean University. It is odd that they have a park named after a baseball legend but there isnt a base field on it. Just a grassy area that has become mud because of the soccer games played there. They have tried keeping the grass but its just about impossible to keep people off the grass long enough for it to grow. It is a large field and the only one around that is perfect for playing soccer on, so I cannt really blame them.

But it has a nice park for the kids to play, a water sprinkler for the kids to run through and this nice soft rubber matting that if you fall on it, you get one hell of a nasty rug burn!

But that never seems to stop them for more than 2 seconds. And add water to a slide and what do you have? Even faster kids flying off the slide! Here we have Lucas coming down the slide:

And here we have him heading back to the top of it, like I said there is no slowing them down!

And then we have Seth the monkey. I swear he will be the first of my children in a cast!

I had to ask Lucas to stop for a second to take his picture.....yeah this lasted about a second!

Wild monkey man on the climbing thingie!

I am set to go on vacation in one week, no real big plans just day trips here and there. I just want some time off to do just about NOTHING. Ever notice that most vacations are more exhausting that going to work?

Product Evaluation #1

2011-08-04T06:08:00.003-04:00

I am a huge sucker for new products, especially weight-loss gimmicks. I have been meaning to do some post on the numerous items I have tried, own and even use on a regular basis. So here is my first product evaluation, and its on this new food additive Sensa:

I saw the ad on a Facebook side bar ad, it had all the usual get skinny fast notions. It even had the 'order now and get your first three months free' catch phrase. Keep that line in your mind as you read what I have to say about this snake oil.
So, I order it and pay for the shipping and handling, no biggie. I get the product and read JUST about all the papers that fall out of the box. About how it works, why it works, how to use it and so forth. Like a kid at Christmas I open my new weight-loss weapon and hit the ground running. But as the days wear on I find one big flaw in the product, you have to carry it with you at all times. I am not always at home when I eat, like most normal working stiffs. So this means I have to remember to carry this item around with me at all times, so you know how that went. Hell I cannt even remember to take my vitamins....crap I forgot to take it again this morning, crap!
So, after about two weeks of half ass-ing it with Sensa I put it aside, I just could not remember to keep it with me whenever I ate. I tried I really did, and hell the product targeted my main problem with food....I just dont know when to stop! And this product claimed it could help with that, it was not a lack of wanting to use the product it was more of a lack of being able to keep it on me.
After I finally said, screw it my wife reminded me to make sure they did not put me on an automatic billing cycle. Ummmm what.....WTF is that? At first I was all like, 'Whatever' But then I was like, 'Ok, let me look into this'.
And sure enough, after going back and looking through ALL of the paper work that came with the shipment there was this one sheet of paper that had all those little nasty details.
Detail One:
You are put on an automatic shipment of this product every three months. And this shit isn't cheap! So, after following the direction on the paper I cancelled the automatic shipping. Which by the way was not an easy feat by any means.
Detail Two:
The 'Free Trail' is not free. I know shame on me, even the ad said, 'If you are not totally satisfied with the product just send us back the product and you pay nothing but the shipping.' What this means is that you have to call Sensa, talk to one of their reps that tries every way under the sun from keeping you from returning it, and get the return address.
Detail Three:
You have to get this charge back number from the Sensa that has to be put on the box you are returning it in. The first person I spoke to never said anything about this. I learned this after reading some more on what I need to return the product without paying the full $90 some smackers for this 'food additive'. So, I called again and asked for this number. I was a little less polite about my answers this time about why I was returning it. The phone drones they have there, work off a script and I had to cut this one off in mid sales pitch. I am an ass, sorry phone guy I heard the same pitch from the last guy whom seemed to have forgotten I needed this number for my shipping needs.
With all my ducks in a row I was able to return it and pay nothing but the shipping. To sum up the product itself I cannot say it worked or not, I could not remember to keep it in my pocket when I went out to eat.
They have a great gimmick that preys on the same notions that almost all the weight loss products use; Get them to take the bait of the 'Free Trial', keep the automatic billing cycle in plain sight but on page 15 of the 15th page of you product information and make returning the product so annoying that most people will not take the time to do it right. Because you miss one step and they got you for the full amount of the product.
In all I would avoid this product and their Tricky-Dickie billing department. Well, unless you are one of the few people that never forgets things and does not mind sitting in a restaurant and adding something to your food that you took out of your pocket........which by the way did make me feel a little creepy. I felt like some addict trying to hide the fact he was an addict lol,

Very late on this one

2011-08-03T11:39:00.007-04:00

I have been trying to cure myself of my lazy ways on sooooo many levels. And this includes my blog. I am late on this I know so dont be to hard on me.
Uruguay beat Paraguay 3-0 for the win of the American Cup! Like I said I am late, kill me NOW!

Now I am not a huge fan of spectator sports for many reason, it does nothing for me, I could careless about what team beat this team or the fact that if one team wins over another my life doesn't change what so ever.
But my wife is from South America so you know what sport is well followed in my house.......that right soccer.....oh wait I am sorry Fotobul....or ball or whatever. And my stance doesn't change on this when soccer time comes around. I wont go into a rant about my dislike of this sport, which the sport itself is one hell of a sport to play, but I will say I have a true hate for the bullshit in this game.
What do I mean by bullshit you ask? The trick of pretending to get hurt by the opposite team in hopes of getting a flag called on the player or to get a free kick. Sorry but that is bullshit in my book. I have had to leave the room more than once after seeing this strategy being used over and over again.
Come on, is that all you got? Pretending you got hurt? Come on there are cameras everywhere and the whole world just saw you fake an injury, and very poorly at that. Imagine if they did this in boxing or rugby? You would be laughed out of the ring or the field. I am sorry for this rant over a rather well played match by Uruguay. Which by the way they only pretended to get hurt a few times.

This was goallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll number three which just about set in stone who was going home the winner

Sister in Law, Sharon and wife celebrating their country's win.

The wife wanted to go down to this Uruguayan bakery where all of the 100 or soo people from Uruguay where going to go to celebrate the win. Here we have Sharon showing that in all the excitement she forgot to fix her pants.

It was a hot and steamy day, the humidity jumped to about a %100 the moment we got into the crowd. It was wild but in a very controlled kind of way; no fights, no one vomiting, a few drunks here and there but in all a very good crowd.

Now when I said the 100 or soo Uruguayans were going to be in one spot I meant it! It was not a complete mob scene but there were alot of people in a very small area.

Here we have the wife and her sister showing their country pride.

Here is another picture of one of the drummers, and for the life of me I cannt remember his name?!?!?!

I am not sure if that was his truck he was standing on but the whole time we were there I did not hear anyone scream, "Hey asshole get off my truck!"

Well, all this noise did bring the cops out. At first they did nothing but as more and more peopled showed up they had to block off the street. And they even took time to take care of some police business with one of the locals. PS.....he wasnt part of our group lol

So much South American stuff going on in one small area!

Just some random crowd shot with a girl and her party cup!

Nothing says party guy like no shirt and a flag for a cape!

They were signing all kinds of songs I didnt know, but then again I dont speak Spanish haha

Well after a time the police did have to break us up and asked us to take to the park across the street. There was no permit for this celebration so technically we were all breaking the law. And even once we got to the park the cops kept harassing us, but we then learned that as long as we keep moving we could continue. Rules rules rules......they were made to be broken and bent to fit our needs and wants haha.

Oh and this guy, no clue i guess he likes women I dont know......

The popo making sure we all listened to the rules and that no one stood in one spot for too long. I wonder if jogging in place counted as well?

I took this one for one obvious reason.....I have never seen this one before. I had a friend that had the back of his neck pierced, this tongue, his eye brow and even that little piece of skin that connects the top lip to your gum line.....yeah that little piece of skin inside your mouth between your teeth and lip(And I know anyone reading this is tonguing it right now)....his nose and a good number of them in his ears as well. But he did not have this one! Sorry Dave she got you on this one!

I know this looks like the beginning of something very bad, but everyone listened and obeyed. We kept it civil and, as far as I can tell, no one was arrested that day.

In all everyone had fun and everyone went home knowing that even thou the other team tried Uruguay took home the cup. Better luck next year, may this time around you should work on your game instead of your acting.

Blue Fishing in New Jeresey

2011-08-03T05:56:00.007-04:00

A buddy from work asked if I wanted to go blue fishing with him and some of his buddies from his firehouse. I would put the name of the firehouse on here but with my luck someone would google it and find my blog. Dont want to get anyone on trouble from the Oakland Fire house.......ummmmm oopps lol. We went on the night trip, 730pm to 230am.....oh yeah it was going to be a long night hahaha
Here we have a couple of group shots of the guys getting ready to catch some fish!

The guy in the bandanna is my buddy Vinnie.....that sounds like the name of a comedy lol. Oh yeah there was beer involved, what kind of fishing outing doesnt have beer?!?!?!

This is one of those party boats that does just about everything for you, which is good for me because I have no clue on what to do with anything I catch lol. Here we have the table of death already to chop and slice you fresh catch. It didnt stay clean for long......

I was soon informed that blue fish are very bloody and that they have very sharp teeth. Both of which turned out to be very true. One of the guys I was with got his finger bitten, nothing serious but it sure made for some good jokes at his expense.

These fish are real fighters, I only brought in one but fought with like 4 others that broke the line. Which was fine by me, I only wanted one. I mean WTF was I going to do with more than that, do you see how big these fuckers are?!?!?!

The boat Miss Belmar did just wanted we wanted it to do....it found us a great place to fish. It did take some time to find a good spot but it was well worth the trip. This one guy on the boat took home like 15 fish, this guy was dead serious about bring home some fish. I am curious as to what he did with all of them????? But if you are ever in the area and are in need of a boat, Miss Belmar is the one to pick in my book.

Krikey.....will you look at the size of dat ding!

There were some interesting characters on this boat. One was this skinny chick that was high as a kite and dressed for a jogging outing, not a night of fishing. She pulls up in a BMW, hops on the boat and then starts bumming smokes and beer off of the people on the boat. I swear I cannt get away from bums no matter where i go. And just in cast you are wondering, I didnt give her shit. Dont get me wrong I am a huge sucker for a sob story and give to almost anybody that asks, but this was just some leech bar fly. And I was not giving her squat.
Now the other strange ducks we had were these two young girls, which is probably normal in these parts, I am just not used to girls being into manly outdoors things. Sorry but the women I am used to dont fish, hunt or do chewing tobacco. Sorry for the blurry picture and sorry to the girl who is on the receiving end of this shot.....it had to take it I am sooo sorry.

Now, being the manly fisherman I am I took home the one fish I caught. And I must say I had no idea what to do with it, but luckily one of the guys working on the boat gave me some good advise. Soak the fillet in milk over night and then cook it how ever you want. The milk helps to get rid of the fishy smell and taste. I did it and it worked like a charm.

Fun was had by one and all, no one got sea sick and no one threw up.....well no one in my group anyway. We did witness one gut blow some serious chunks off the boat. I totally laughed at his pain, sorry I cannt help it I am an asshole after all. I have yet to ever get sea sick, I actually like the feeling of being on a rocking boat. Cannt say why, I did not grow up around boats and in all honesty I did not get on one until much later in life. I swear I was a pirate in another life hahaha.

We did not get off the boat until almost 3am and I did not get home until about 430am. I was tired, smelled so bad I had to get naked on the porch and leave my cloths there but it was fun and would totally do it again.

Dutch Wonderland 2011

2011-07-13T06:22:00.001-04:00

We took the kids to this wonderful place called Dutch Wonderland, or CrackerLand if you will hahaha.
Everyone had a blast and what was great about it is that it is all geared to little people. No not midgets, but you know they would probably have fun here too! Every ride was set for kids so there wasnt one ride they could not go on.
I would totally recommend this place to anyone with little monkeys!

1) The sky lift, and Lucas wanted no part of this ride lol.

2) What trip to an amusement park would be complete with some amusement?

3) We won 2 Domo's!

4) This picture came out awesome

5) look ma, no hands and no shoes!

6) Being the train nut he is, he loved this ride!

7) The stick was there to help push them along, Lucas needed no help.

8) Katarine only needed a little bit

9) Peter strapping Katerina, which her nickname is Beans

10) Go Lucas go

11)

12)Very simple ride but he thought it was the greatest thing

13) They even have a water park!

14) Peter showing some love

15) Frog men diving into the pool

16) Everyone loves the log ride

17) Down they go, so this is what a turd's life must feel like

18) Here we have Monica giving me the Jersey salute!

19) I half expected them to do the same lol

20) We took tons of pictures of them on this ride, we kept missing them pass us lol

21) Take 100 and I dont know.....

22) Seth and Mommy

23) When the park opened in 1963 it only had 4 rides.....4 rides wtf is 4 rides? Even crappy traveling carny shows have more than 4 rides lol

24) Here we have Lucas hiding because he did not want to go on a ride......love the sandals ;)

25) Beans and Lucas on an original ride from the 1960's

26) this thing was fast!

27) this ride was more of his speed lol

28) I cannt cheezzzze with the sun in my eyes

29) Giant Amish dude outside of this buffet we love. I think he pooped a Phil!

30) Lucas wasnt so sure about this guy

31) The whole crew on a wagon.....they give a whole new meaning to 'Ridin Dirty'

32) Our hotel was only 2 blocks from Wonderland, I took this one while out on a walk.

In all we had a great time, we saw Thomas the tank engine, went to Dutch Wonderland and ate way too much vacation food. This was a mini vacation for us, I hope to go on an all out vacation soon. We are planning on going camping some time very soon. I cannt wait I love pretending to be homeless for a week!

Part one...Thomas the Train

2011-06-30T06:25:00.000-04:00

This past weekend we took the kiddies to see Thomas the Tank Engine up in Lancaster,PA. We stated for 3 days and two night because we also went to Dutch Wonderland for the first time. Which was only about 2 blocks from the hotel.

Day one was Thomas, and since Lucas is just mental for Thomas you can imagine who was the happiest that day. You want to see a child stop in his tracks? Just turn on the TV and put on Thomas, no matter what Lucas is doing it will come to a halt the second he hears that song!

Here is the our first picture of the Thomas adventure.

This was one of those simple little rides you see everyday out side of grocery stores, but here in Thomas land there was a line for it! I did not have .75$ on me for the ride but some nice lady gave me the money. Remember people, its the random acts of kindness that can really make a persons day. Thank you random woman with some extra change for making Lucas one happy boy.

I always pictured the conductor like the one I saw that day, he was picture perfect. Not the cleanest but definitely the most believable.

I was disappointed I could not get him to talk to me. We all know how celebrities are these days, always to busy to stop and talk with the little ppl lol.

Everyone stopped at this one crossing to put change on the tracks. It was like getting a sacred token from some spiritual guru or something.

We have a blessed penny and a nickle....I really need to find them and get a picture of them. God only knows where they might be now!

Every time we go to a show or something like this I am always reminded of the episode of 'Rockos Modern Life' It was this show I used to watch all the time that went off the air many years ago.....but anyway.....Rocko and his buddy go to this ski lodge that had a sign 'Everything $5'. Who could resist a ski lodge that was only 5 bucks right? But here is the rub.....EVERYTHING was $5, the boots, the ski rental, the ride to the top of the mountain, the bathrooms.....'Everything 5$' doesn't sound so good anymore does it?

Well here we have the booth where you can get you picture taken with Thomas, but it wont cost $5....more like $30 or more!

So we wanted until he backed up to get a picture. Not as good or as fancy but years from now all they will see is the memories made that day.

Here is something you dont see on the rail lines anymore. I love how they kept this in perfect condition.

ChooChoo......sorry I had to do that

And of course what trip into Lancaster would be complete without some pictures of the Amish people. Man these people creep me the fuck out. Now dont get me wrong the ones I have meet have always been the most polite and helpful people you could ever know. But their accents and the language they speak.....I mean come on why do you have a foreign accent you were born in American?!?!?!

Lucas loves trains, wouldn't it be funny if he actually grew up to work with them.

Tickets, have your tickets ready....or I will throw your fat touristy ass right out the fucking window no free-loaders on this ride!

Lucas, Mommy and Seth. Ever notice the one with the camera very rarely ever gets in the picture

Goodbye Thomas....we will see you again next year!

I came to post but now....

2011-06-29T07:08:00.002-04:00

I have to bitch about blogger not uploading. I have been trying to get my pictures up but I keep getting this annoying error! I know I have been using this blog for free and all sooooo I cannt bitch tooo much, but come on now!

I will be back to try and get my pictures of me and my family's weekend with Thomas the Train and Dutch Wonderland up in Lancaster PA.

New weight loss product!

2011-06-23T12:12:00.003-04:00

I am huge on using the latest and greatest fad do-dad or supplement. I have used just about everything under the sun in the realms of health and fitness.

And I think it is time I start to write about my experience with them. So let me start off with my newest trial....Sensa. I saw the ad and had to try it. I mean it was only $10 for a two month trial supply.

I cannt really say much about the product as of yet, I just started using it but I can say this about the billing.....Be careful when ordering! They put you on automatic billing the moment they ship you your 'Free trail'. I was lucky enough to have a wife that is smart enough to tell me to go and check how they do their billing. Because after a quick look at my profile on their web site I found that I was on a billing cycle. These people are tricky tricky. The product itself is in the trial stages for me so I cannt really say much, so stay tuned for that. But I really dont like they try to scam you into getting repeat orders without you having to request it first. Read the fine print people and listen to your wife/husband. They can be right some of the time you know!

I am away for the weekend, starting Firday. The family is going to Lancaster PA, we are all going out to see Thomas the Train. My little one is fucking mental about Thomas. So this should be interesting, lots of pictures will be taken!

Fathers Day Weekend

2011-06-22T07:12:00.006-04:00

This past weekend was fathers day, belated happiness goes out to all the fathers of the world, adopted, step dads and fosters dads as well. It was a good weekend with with no complains, except for the fact I wish there was an extra day of rest lol.

Saturday, Seth had his piano test at Kean University and did wonderfully! Here we have a picture the morning of the test.

And here we have Seth warming up on one of the practise pianos. They have a bunch of them in these little sound proof rooms. I am really curious as to how they got them in there?

His test score: 96%. Who knows, he might make something out of this in his future.

Sunday:
We had our last baseball game of the season, which was the play offs for the finals. We did not make it but that did not seem to bother Seth one bit.
We also went to the park by our house. Looking at the pictures from the park one would think I live in a very wood area. And even from an areal view it would seem that way, but never ever judge by looks alone. Welcome to the jungle, the ghetto jungle that is lol. Where the park is full of blunt wrappers, dime baggies and empty bottles of Old E and Natty Ice haha!

They had 8 swings at the park, 4 baby swings and 4 big kid swings. Well, recently they took down the big kid swings and put in new ones. But now we have 6 baby swings and only 2 big kid swings. I wonder what government official that has never seen this park signed off on this one?

Seth right before taking the field. His last game of the season, it has been a longer season than usual. Due to the rain and heat.....we skipped over spring this year. One minute it was cold and then next it was blazing hot!

Seth up at bat, at these level they do count strikes and balls. He has a good eye for which pitch is a good pitch. He actually was walked on this play.

Lucas wanted to take a picture, and this is what I got lol

Lucas and his CHEESE face

Can you tell it was a hot day?

I am sooo glad they have this little jungle gym at the baseball field.

At my office I work with a bunch of humorless cubical drones, so once in a while I will try to add some color to their lives with some of my work safe humor. Here is a little something I did last week. They have this sign on a door leading into a hall way that has alot of traffic, and on the day I made this sign I observed something that made me smile. I saw this guy going down the stairs at a pretty good pace but came to an almost dead stop when he came to this door. And then he opened the door slowly, just like the sign said. So in my mind I thought,
'I wonder if I could get them to follow some additional instructions?'
So I added a little something fun to the sign in hopes that everyone follows directions.

I never got to see if anyone followed this sign but I did notice it was taken down on the following Monday. I am now in the process of thinking about something new to add here, any suggestions?

Also on Sunday while out grilling I saw a blimp. I have not seen one of these things in a while, I have always wondered who fly these things and what kind of license you need to operate one.

My blog is coming back to life slowly but Sherly, 'Yes but don't call me Sherly'
I still have to go through the people I have on my blog roll thingie and make some changes. Some of the people I used to blog with have gone away or just don't blog any more. So it is time to make some new fwends and move on. The Internet is a funny place, you can make 'friends' and lose them just as fast as you can blink.
When playing on the Internet one has to have a thick skin and take nothing personally. Because at the end of the day no matter how well you know your 'E-freind' you truly have no idea who they may really be.

Day one....again.....

2011-06-16T08:40:00.005-04:00

God I have become the the man of "Day One" in the world of fitness and health. I have started over soo many times it seems like I never really started in the first place. But then again it is better to have a start over than a never start.

Got up this morning and went to the park. I just couldn't get into the whole running thing so I did push ups and triceps push ups until I was all out of push. I did walk about a mile or so, but my primary effort was in the chest and triceps.

I was up at 0400 and out the door by 0415, luckily the park is only a block away and the ghetto rats are all in hiding by this time. Nothing ever happens at 4 in the morning, now between 11pm and 2 am is a whole other story lol.

I am sitting here in my office trying not to hide under my desk and pass out. Two cups of coffee and two RedLine pills later I am someone human. One of the things I like to do to help me stay human is humor. I find funny shit all the time on the world wide web. And since I am on a "Day One" kick might as well keep it going with a day one in starting up with the humorous side of my blog that I miss so much. So today I am posting some of the stuff I have stock piled since the last time I was on here. Most of it is offensive and wrong, so if you are one of those easily offended limp wristed butthurt liberals I think now would be a good time to log off and go fuck yourself.

Now, on with the show:

1) HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA just kidding this is totally not funny......

2) How the mighty have fallen

3) Since we are on the topic of drugs and celebrities we have to give respect to one of the fallen greats of all time!

4) America Fuck Yeah!

5) HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA and some more HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

6) And last but not least, a little nerd humor, haha

Now it is back to work and drinking tons of water......man could I go for an egg, cheese and pork roll on a roll right about now.........*sigh* I will just have a Fiber One bar and some water instead *double sigh*

When you need something fixed in your office......

2011-06-15T11:07:00.004-04:00

Who are you going to call?

Not the maintenance department, they seem pretty incapable for the most part. My little rant here is going into how people get jobs that they are obviously not qualified for.

How is it someone has a title but when asked a question about the area of supposed expertise they seem a bit lost. Here let me tell you about my most recent adventure:

At my current location I have been having the same problem since we came to this building in the summer of 2009. Climate control.
You see I work in a large closet with no windows, 9 computers and two large flat screen (ViewSonic) TV's, that are on all the time. So needless to say it gets hot in our office. And the climate controls in here are just retarded. Whom ever designed this building needs to be kicked in the balls on many levels, but lets just stick with this one for now.

Now, when this building was being laid out on paper they knew exactly what this room was going to contain. But they seemed to fail to notice the need for some air flow and control in this room. And because of that we have the problems that we have now: In the winter its fucking hot as hell and in the summer its cold as hell. To the point they had to put this in the room:

I have no idea where this ancient looking a/c unit came from but it works. But it sounds like a jet taking off every time you turn it on haha. So, this helped fix our hot as hell winters and weekends. Because on Friday at 1900 hrs everything get shut off, air wise that is. So the weekend guys are stuck with a hot box for an office, but thanks to this Buck-Rogers looking device they can be at least comfortable.
Now onto the summer time problem. The problem that arises in the summer is that around 0700hrs the a/c kicks on and starts blowing at full force none stop until 1900hrs that night when it turns off. And for the past two years I have complained to the building maintenance about it. I sent emails, spoken to them personally and each year they have done the same thing. Came up to the office take a temperature reading and say 'Yep, it sure is cold in here.' And then leave, I finally had enough of it today.
I know that there had to be a damper control on these two openings we have here in our room. I even mentioned this to the guys that are supposed to know this building inside and out. But they looked at me like I was from another planet. Here is what I am talking about:

This is my roof with the two vents that blow ice cold air for 12 hours into my closet.

So today I took matters into my own hands, because I know that many buildings these days use flex duct work instead of the old fashion sheet metal type. Its cheaper and easier to use, so no real surprise when I looked under the the cover to find the GODDAMN DAMPER right under it.

Armed with a screw driver I was able to adjust the air flow into my room so that I am now at comfortable temperature. It took a few tries to get the right amount of air flow but it was well worth the numerous trips to the top of my desk. The only draw back now is the whistling noise created but the smaller opening, but to be honest I can totally deal with that!

So this is a huge FUCK YOU to the engineers that designed this building ( there will be more design flaw post to come) and another to maintenance people that have no clue how something as simple as damper in an air duct system works. Now this isnt an all out blast to all engineers or people that work in maintenance, I am sure there are some out there that really know how things work. ;-) It is just that in my past experience in this building and the last one I worked in , that these two departments are plagued with people that cannot think outside the box.

And this is why we have cars that are made to perform like clocks but it takes a crew of 4 men to change the oil haha

Past birthday post that went unfinished, from 5/23/2011

2011-06-15T09:51:00.000-04:00

Every year our neighbors have a birthday party for their kids: Danny and Katarina. They have a two car garage so it is perfect for good weather and bad weather. Last year it rained a little and this year it rained a whole lot! It was sunny for the first part of the day but then the sky opened up in biblical proportions!
It came down hard, so what did we do? We blew bubbles and let the kids run in the rain. It was like a mini water park right in our own back yard. Everything went over without any problems. The rain caused no problems, but one thing of interested did happen. The women we all raving about these Mike's Hard Lemonade drinks. Mainly the pink lemonade, but we only had 12 so the women sent myself and Pete out to get more. Well.....4 liquor stores later it turns out this yummy flavor was a promotional item that is not being made anymore. I just could not believe that something like pink lemonade was going to be a one time flavor. I mean come one, when I think of lemonade there are three main flavors that come to mind: Regular, pink and raspberry. And to be honest the Mike's raspberry isnt that good.

Fun was had by all and even Lucas went out in the rain.....which is amazing in itself if you knew Lucas LOL

It is called.....a Re-Blog

2011-06-14T12:53:00.004-04:00

I have been thinking about just taking it down. It has been rare that I come here anymore, a place I used to come to on a daily basis has become a place I come to once a month.

There was a time I could not wait to get on here and bullshit about my day and post the pictures I have taken in the world around me. But then things changed, my free time changed and my desires changed. It is strange how the things we once loved to do become more of a burden than a joy.

I think college killed some of the joy when it comes to sitting down and blogging. Having to type out pointless papers and then to come to my blog and type some more.....yeah no thanks. But I do miss coming here and one of the factors for me now wanting to come back, is that I said to myself that I wanted to do a recap of my world. So much has happened that just the thought of trying to organize it made me think of another college paper that I HAD TO write.

And then finally today I sat down and thought, "Fuck I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. I don't want to delete my blog and I don't want to start over!"

So I wont I will just start today over with a fresh out look on life and blogging. I have let soo many things just kind of go to shit these days. I gained 30lbs since last August.....yes 30 goddamn it pounds! Is embarrassing to have to admit it, and even worse when my cloths don't fit me. And much like this blog I always have the intent on going back to working out but it just never happens.

I seem to have lost the energy to do much of anything these days, and to make it worse my bottomless pit of a stomach is my enemy. What to do what to do....and I know its easy to say one thing and harder to do another. The only time I can really workout is at 0400 in the morning and getting up that early is just about impossible, hell I would have to be in bed the same time the kids go to bed! But to get what we want sometimes real sacrifices have to be made. And its time to stop complaining about it and at least make one step in the right direction.

I have made numerous attempts, even went out running for 2 days in a row but this that and everything got in the way and it never continued.

I am tired of being tired, I am no longer a smoker, still a weekend drinker, and very much still an over eater. I am slowing starting to see that I have a problem with food. I love it way to much and have a hard time controlling myself. But lets see what I can about this, I am going to try tomorrow and go to the park for at least a jog and I am also going to try and come here and blog about it.

I used to love blogging about everything and nothing at all, but now it almost seems like.....work. And very few people out there love doing anything they have to! And on trying to recap I think I will just do it backwards, starting with the most recent events and working my way down. One big event was the passing of my brother in law, not Douglas but Willie. I am not sure if I mentioned much about him here. He was handicapped and confined to bed his whole life but he was the light of my wife's family. And as I became a part of the family the same was true for me. It was a very emotional passing for everyone, he was sick and we knew his time was limited. But knowing what is about to happen and looking it in the face of it are two very different things. It even surprised me how much it effected me, I have always been the rational person in situations like this but this time I just about fell apart. I was in a very uncomfortable place and I had no idea how to act or what to say. I am still a bit awkward about it, I have had people in my family pass away but I was never around when it happened. So it was more like a phone call and a sympathy card. It is still strange to go to the house and go past his room and not see him there in his bed smiling and you. He was a happy little guy and he know what was what even though he could not voice it. You KNEW when he was pissed about something and he let you know it, and you knew when something made him happy. It was the simplest things that made him happy and the simplest things that made him give you the shit face of his disapproval.

I did see his body before he was cremated and it took all my strength not to fall to pieces, the family was having a hard time with it and I had to hold it together. I probably should have let something out, a little at a time is better than all out at once. But I just thought I had to be the one to help others stand when they needed help. I find myself on the verge of tears many times when I am alone just because I am just not sure where to direct this....frustration. I understand logic and reason and even anarchy....but I just don't know what to do with real emotions. Maybe through this, my blog I can try to work it out, my blog is my therapy and my legacy.

So here is to a fresh start, a spring cleaning of the virtual soul. Willie you are gone but not forgot en, your passing has shown me that I am not where I want to be and that I really need to work on all parts of all of the things I have been neglecting. Like not caring about grammar and spelling. I am always worried about that, but damn it all to hell I don't care, if someone wants to read this with a red pen and point out all the areas I fucked up on....knock yourself out. Just don't come near me with that pen, I will shove it up your ass then put it in your mouth.

So here is to tomorrow, a day that is promised and not a given

Ahhhh it smells like my blog

2011-05-06T07:10:00.007-04:00

One more semester down, and only after 2 weeks of waiting I got my grades. Sociology of death, I got a B and in Accounting I got a B+. The funny part about it is that I thought I was going better in the death class lol.
But that is how things have been going in my world. But I do have a few things to high light since my last blog entry.

I am now an official member of the National Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi. It seems that my GPA has been high enough to get me into this little group of nerdlings. I must say I feel rather out of place in this group. I was not much a grade winner in high school, so this is a whole new experience for me lol. Just one more thing to add to my resume when I FINALLY graduate.

The wife came down with a case of MRSA, not sure where it came from but the doc gave her some wicked pills. The pills have huge names with lots of letters and I cannt even begin to understand how to pronounce them but they are throwing her for a loop. But on the bright side she is getting beter....now I just hope I dont get it too!

Baseball is almost done for little monkey man. He loves to play, even though always seems more interested in the bugs in the air or the ants in the grass. But he likes it so who am I to judge. I am not one of those wacko parents that push their kids into sports and MAKE sure they perform like pro ball players.

My Feelings on this topic:

2011-05-06T07:00:00.000-04:00

I came across this in cyberspace recently and got a good laugh. Today will be the start my blog again. Yeah I know I said it before but I really miss doing this, and now I actually do have a little time to play on it again lol

Dear President Calderon,

I’m planning to move my family (my wife is currently pregnant with twins) and extended family into Mexico, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We plan to skip all the legal
stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. Please note that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All Mexican government forms need to also be printed in English.
4. I want my children to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bilingual) teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers do not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking
officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U.S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments
from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say a critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I have the right to speak English to other English-speaking co-workers and friends, in the presence of Mexican citizens, who cannot understand us.
15. Job Requirement: Must be bilingual.
16. My college-age children must receive in-state tuition (state-subsidized), and be offered scholarships if I am unable to pay for their tuition and fees, which is typically is the
case, if I lack the education or language skills to obtain a well paying job myself.
17. American run businesses have the right to hire Americans, exclusively.
18. I have the right to sue any Mexican who objects to these terms under laws against racism and hateful practices.

Thank you el Presidente Calderon, I am sure this can be accomplished easily as America has been doing this for many years!
U.S. citizen and taxpayer

Hooooray Something to Bitch About....

2011-03-31T07:22:00.006-04:00

Yesterday we had our first practise of the season.....well the first practise I was made aware of, anyway. You see the coach only got my email address from the youth league a few days ago so until then he was not able to contact me. This was typical of this league and just part of the reason I am not coaching. You see this youth league is very, very unorganized. Just to the point that I refuse to coach, sure I will help out in other ways but do not ask me to do anything that might involve planning. Work the kitchen, help clean the field or whatever tasks might be needed for the field itself; no problem. Let me count the ways (from last year) of why I am not getting involved:

Once I said I would coach I was given a team....oh wait not that one.....oh wait this one is not good either.....here you can have this one. I felt like I was just given the team no one else wanted. The kids were great the parents were not toooo bad but still.....has anyone ever heard of the 'Muck Dogs' ?

On opening day, which a they do a parade to the field we use, I had not received anything about the 'cheese cake sale'. This is the fund raiser they do to raise money for the league. But mind you I saw everyone else there with packets handing them out. I had to chase down someone to get mine. This was also the day I had to chase someone down to get my equipment bag.

Game days and practise were not all that problematic, there were a few snags here and there, but that is life. But the team moms did seem to have some problems with knowing who did kitchen duty and who did not. And even though my wife made it very clear about how it worked, our idea of clean was not everyone else's definition of clear.

When the season was over I was told I could drop off the equipment at the field. Well, I tried to return the gear they gave on three occasions and each time they told me to hold on to it until someone contacted me. No one called, and each time I tried to return it they told me that they did not want to get everything mixed up and just to wait. Well I still have all the gear I was given last year on the porch. And if they do not contact me by the end of this season about it I am claiming it as mine. Not that I really want it but I have kept this stuff safe for them for a year now and it seems they do not want it back. I am almost tempted to label this post with the name of the league just to see if anyone contacts me about this post.....but I probably wont. I don't want to make it toooo easy for them haha.

But I must say it did feel strange not being on the field being the one telling the kids: 'Stop playing with the dirt' 'Keep your eye on the ball' 'Ok, heads up and gloves down' I was just another parent on the side lines watching and freezing my ass off. This will be our third season with this league and my first not being on the field with the kids. I do feel bad about it but my nerves are not willing to do that again. I will practise with Seth on our own but as for the actual coaching, I am leaving that up to someone else. CellPhone picture from yesterday:

Another Day in the Life of....Me

2011-03-22T09:43:00.000-04:00

Work and school, work and school...makes one really love those little moments of freedom. And someday I will look back and miss it.....well I dont think there will ever be a time when I miss school. I am not going into a rant about hating the institution or how it is just another scheme set up to separate you from your money, nope not going to do it.
Just popped in for some blogging time nothing more. Here to report Seth is now 8:

And life is plugging along the way it should. Well at least in our neck of the woods anyway. But it is strange to see snow on the first day of spring!

Then again when living in NJ you have to be ready for anything. Like when I saw my first episode of 'The Jersey Shore' I was like :

Nope, not one fuck was given that day. It is amazing, if you do not turn on your tv to actually watch any shows your life still has meaning. Dont get me wrong I still watch it from time to time, just to make myself feel better about myself.
And I know that can sound mean and self centered, by hey I am an American and if you dont like what I am saying here:

We are making all kinds of plans for the up coming months. Taking the kids to see Thomas the Train up in PA, I am saving up money for my road trip to TN to finally finish this tattoo, the wife is planning to take a trip out to CA and I cannt wait to hit the beach this summer.
Which reminds me.....I hope it warms up soon I need to get my ass out and start running off this winter coat I have been growing. I did get me some new running shoes, they are a little bit different than most the ones out on the market:

They are called Skele-Toes and they are made by Fila. Navy Man had a pair very similar to these but they were alot more expensive and they had grooves for all the toes. These only have 4, makes getting them on a little easier....just a little.
They did take some getting used to but now I wear them all the time. As soon as I get home from work I put them on, they have become my everyday shoes as well lol.
Now if I could only get my ass up at 4am everyday from here on out to go running I will be all set hahahaha!

Life as usual

2011-02-25T06:01:00.002-05:00

There have been a few times I have thought about taking this blog down, I mean hell it is so rare that I ever come here anymore. But then I look at all the post I have and all the memories I have stored up on here. I could not delete this anymore than I could burn my journals.
It doesn't matter how often I come here, all that matters is that I come back. Even if its only to troll on my own blog or to take a tour down memory lane.

I know this site will never generate money, even though I keep getting these things telling I can just by putting ads on my blog. I will never become a famous writer because I blog, I have thought about getting a degree in journalism but then I am not sure I am willing to turn a hobby into a job. I like to write, but it's on my terms and I write when I want to about things I want to bitch about. No censors, no editors and no boss telling me my work sucks. Hell I know that, but I can suck on my own terms and be happy about it.

This blog is about my random life and I will blog just as randomly as I please. I know if I HAD to blog I would hate it. And since I have been in a funk as of late I have had no real pep to get up and blog.

It must be the weather, I swear if it snows again I will take a shit in mother natures mouth the next time she falls asleep! I have some serious cabin fever and it has manifested itself in some strange ways. Like being coming a lazy toad, I am lazy but this has gotten way out of hand. It is time to get things back in order while it is still at a recoverable level ha! And before I develop a chronic case of Dickie-Do...you know when your gut sticks out farther than your dickie-do!
Yep its time to shead the winter coat again and start my spring training.....but I think I wait until tomorrow lol!

But life goes on, skool, work, family and everything else that makes us complete. I need to take my camera off and dust it off, that too has not been out in a while. When you are in a funk everything is in a funk. I do have a few pictures to end this blog with. So let me just put them up so I can get to working on avoiding doing any real work today:

1) I hate Smart cars with a passion. They are gay gay gay gay.....not the man on man love kind of gay but the pink shirt wearing yoga instructor that doesn't eat meat kind of gay. Two men slamming ass is the homosexual gay stuff, which is what I would rather do than ever buy one of these things. And yet this restaurant I eat on a regular basis has one.....gayyyyyyyyy.

2) I did take out the camera the other day when I saw Lucas watching TV using my bathrobe as a blanket. Kids are just to damn cute sometime.

3) I have been on this funny picture kick as of late, I have lots and lots of de-motivational posters. This one I actually put up on my FB to express how I was feeling one day. Sometimes this is all I want to say to people......and with that type of enthusiasm!

4) And my last picture is that of the Valentines Day gift me and the kids made for the wife. It does get harder each year to come up with something new. But this year I did a home made card from me and the kids and a plate with strawberries and chocolate. I tried to cut them into little hearts but it turn out to be a little more difficult that I thought. But oh well, they will end up in the same place no matter what shape they are made into hahahaha!

Have a happy Friday people...pss....does anyone know anything about accounting, I am taking a class in it now and I am a bit confused in all of it.......pssss I hate college :-D but its almost over.......

How many different ways to say TIRED

2011-02-04T07:11:00.011-05:00

Yep it has been a whirl wind of excitement in my world. Well I guess if going to school, work, picking up little monkeys from school and cleaning the house is what you call excitement lol. Life is what it is and I know when I am really old I will look back and wish for these crazy days back. Life is hard but that is what makes life worth living, if it was easy no one would care. Everything would be taken for granted and nothing would have any real value to it.

Everyone complains about the pains of life but that is because bitching about something makes us feel important. And everyone wants to feel better about themselves. I am a lazy shit and know that if I just got my ass in gear 30% of the time I probably could do wonders but......oh its nap time...brb.....

Ahhhh much better, now where was I? I cannot remember oh well, oh look office meeting left overs!

And just like that I am off to the races with something else lol. Many of us want to be something we are not, including me its called day-dreaming. Because reality sucks, but you know what? I love all the sucky stuff about reality. I am trying not to rush all this, yes its hard and annoying but I am 34 and dont remember getting this old. I mean how did I get here so fast? It was 1994 just yesterday....right!?!

Time has moved on and the good times have all passed.........No they have not! The good times keep on rolling! Yes my 20's were fucking awesome but so have been my 30's and so will my 40's and so on. I have probably 64 more years of balls to the wall fun to go....btw I am going to live to be 100. I have to see the tricentennial of our country!

As I hear people complain about life I will join in, but secretly smile to myself because my moaning and groaning is more of me showing off than an actual bitch fest. I love this pain we call life and this blog is my testament to it. And since I have been such a lazy cork sucker with the pictures I think it is time to drop a huge load of pics on this bastard!

Here are the pictures from the New Years Eve party we went to:

1) Yep that about sums it up lol

2) Seth with his party cup....Juice on the rocks sir

3) His name is Turd....how cool is that lol

4) The Internet, helping the opposite sex unite one site at a time

5) Lucas on a juice run

6) The wife unit is all smiles lol

7) Alan with the worst fake smile ever

8) I swear there is something in that juice!

9) Almost the exact same shot haha

10) Grow ups become big kids the more they drink lol

In NJ we have been hammered this winter with some god awful weather. We have had snow/freezing rain/ice storm almost every week since the start of the new year. And just this Monday I woke up to find my car a block of ice. To the point I was able to take a picture of the window rolled down but the ice still up.

For anyone who lives in a crowded town knows all about saving the spot you shoveled out with a chair or some random piece of garbage you can find. I think that practise is fucking retarded, I mean try saving your spot like this on a sunny day and see what happens. Yes you shoveled it out but it is on a state own road not your drive way asshole, no saving spots. Here are the two spots i had fun digging out, i look at shoveling snow as an exercise not a chore. Its fun and gets the blood pumping!

Oh and by the way, I do not save spots. If I have to I will get out the old shovel and make a new one if I have to lol.

I am back in skool and struggling, mainly because I am having a tough time getting my books. Sorry i dont have 300$ to shell out for one book! But on a lighter side I skool does give me numerous chances to take funny pictures of people sleeping in class. Like this snoring beauty....and yes he was snoring lol

And speaking of school work here is Seth in his new PJ's doing his. I swear they give him more homework than I got when I was in the 5th grade....and he is only in the first!

One of the many times I came out of work to find, yet again, more snow!

Random picture of wife take by one of my wife's friends that is now my texting friend. I love finding people that love to text, and yes almost all of them are women....shocking a know!

And last but not least here is one of the snowman our neighbors made. About the only guy who loves the snow. And by the way its been two weeks since he was made and he is still there! That smile of his is starting to creep me out. Reminds me of this guy I knew when I was a kid, he drove a green van with tinted windows.....he had that same simle......

Xmass round up....

2011-01-11T07:17:00.003-05:00

With all the holidays over it is now time to unwind and get back to normal. Well whatever you might call normal anywho lol. For me it is day two back to working out, the kids are all back in school, I will be back in a week and all is well.
Well except last week everyone got a stomach virus; Lucas, then Seth, then wife unit and finally me. Nothing helps kick start your diet like not eating and shitting yourself stupid for 24 hours! And with that lovely thought on with the pictures:

1) As usual we were up late for hours doing something that only took moments to undo. But at least the had fun lol

2) He still loves his pillow pet!

3) Getting a focused picture of Lucas is alot more difficult than one would think.

4) He is just mental for the presents!

5) He doesnt do well with mornings lol

7) I had to go to 4 different stores and one mall to find her this thing, I did not know that was going to be a run on Snuggies for the holidays. And if you have one, hold it up and take a look at the pattern used to make it......its a fucking rectangle with sleeves!

8) He loves Buzz and Woody almost as much as he loves Thomas.......almost.....

9) He wanted Star Wars Legos....I dont know why we got it for him....because Alan had all the fun building it!

10) By the time I took this picture Seth was already done with it....but Alan finished it and now it resides in his room lol

11) But we did find one present that fit them both.....medieval spongy weapons! Just what every boy needs for Christmas....weapons!

In all we had a great Christmas, I ate way way too much but that goes without saying. We still have yet to make it to my moms house, one thing or another has kept us from going. No real biggie, we are trying for this weekend. And even though we are supposed to get hammered with snow tomorrow the weekend should be fine.

I will be back later this week to put up some New Years eve pictures, we went to a friends house and got toe up.....but without the frow-up. HAHA

-psssssss

Have you ever published your post before clicking the 'done spell checking' option? I have and it publishes all your wanted errors in yellow, and then you have to go back and erase and retype it. Just a little heads but for people like me that are Publish button happy lol

Post Holiday Review, Step One:

2010-12-23T09:06:00.006-05:00

The Wife's Holiday Work Party

The day of her annual Christmas party fell on the same day I had to give an oral presentation in my international business class, and I could not skip class.....it was 40% of my grade! But the professor said I could leave as soon as I done.

So, soon as I clicked on the last slide of my PowerPoint presentation I was out the door! Flying up the Parkway at speeds I will not mention and doing some maneuvers that would have given any NASCAR fan a woody. I made it in record time, I even made it in before they took all the awesome food away. I only had one shot, no seconds so that plate was loaded! We all had a blast and as usual the holiday party was great.....but one side effect of all this holiday greatness is that I have gained major weight. And starting last night I am going to war with my gutt, my lack of will power and my missing motivation. I have only 5 months to get back into shape....I am not going into the summer of the last year the earth has out of shape. You know the world is coming to an end in 2012 right?

I am back to where I started....AGAIN....but hey at least I have something to bitch about now hahaha. But looking back I sure had a blast putting on the weight, and now its time to pay the piper lol. Now lets get on with those pictures I took that day:

1) Here we have the wife unit getting ready, hot as usual. Side note: Her boobies where the talk of the night. She does have wonderful assets and huge......tracks of land!

2) Here we have her old boss Marta and the big boss...whose name I cannot remember, I think it's John. He is a great guy, he came to Atlantic City with all of us with a drink in his hand. Now that is a boss. Side note: She has wonderful posture doesn't she?

3) Who doesn't love some girl on girl love? I know I do lol. That is Monica dancing with the wife, another person from the cool kids at the job.

4) Here is another boss, Joe I think....he is her direct boss at the location she works at, another great guy. He just had a new baby...well his wife had the baby but he did help get it started lol

5) The wife and Jill, they have been working side by side for the past month or so trying to clean up a location that needs.....some help. I cannot go into detail but let me just say we are all adults and know what has to get done in the grown up world. So just do it, no one should have to tell you what your job is these days.

6) And sure enough that is me being me. Side note: She let me do this so I did not get smacked for this one lol

7) I had just sat down with my food when we had this one taken, notice the fork is all set to start the shoveling! Does anyone else think I look like Tom Green here?

8) Forgive me but I cannot remember her name, I am sooo bad with names and I always feel bad when they call me by mine and I cannot return with theirs. But she is another part of the cool kids that sit at the back of the bus....because we all know only the cool kids get to sit there lol.

I will be doing a Christmas post soon, probably tomorrow. I do not want to do all my blogging in one day, since school is out I have had to do actual work at work! I now have to time to goof off on a massive scale.....I mean hell I got to work at 0600hrs and took a nap until 0930! How awesome is that?

Up Coming post:
1) Xmass in Review
2) The 2010 Snow Blast (NJ got nailed with a shit-load of snow yesterday and I am sooo going to bitch and blog about it lol)

My Trip To The Sex Museum

2010-12-08T09:33:00.008-05:00

Last semester I had to go into the city to do a paper on a statue, very classy stuff. But this time I had to do another paper along the same lines, but this one was more of the 'Titties and Beer' kind of paper.

Well, me and some of my classmates got together and went to the Sex Museum in NYC. And yes it is real, here is a link to some information on it.....Museum of Sex.....I would have put the actual web site but at work it keeps coming up as 'Porn' lol

The museum started off with the gift shop with all kinds of toys and devices anyone....or anything could ever want. And I say 'anything' because they had a sex doll for dogs, and just for $650 you can cure your dog of ever wanting to hump your leg. And cure you ever showing your face in public after your friends FaceBook pictures of this thing in your house!

They also had way over priced tee shirts with funny saying and pictures. Because who doesn't find the topic of sex funny? If it was not for the fact sex felt good it would be laughable!

There where lots of exhibits on everything from fetishes, to the history STD's and prevention. I personally loved the old condom ads from way back in the day. Who knew people where having sex back then?!?!

This one display of the living sex dolls is one for the books.....'For just $6,000 you can have a life size sex doll that is as close to the real thing as one can get without the fear of pimps, jail, marriage or crabs!'

And how could they possibly have a museum of sex without a section on the porn industry? I mean hell that is why the Internet is so vast and powerful after all!

I loved the safe sex posters and advertisements they had up, I wonder where they got them from? Because I never saw this ad in any magazine at the check out counter:

In all it was a fun trip, the entertainment value was much higher than when I had to do a paper on that Greek statue. But in all honesty the $16 was not worth it, yeah sex is great but I have seen better and more informative things on HBO. If you are bored and got some cash to burn go in and have a laugh, this is not something I would take a special trip just to see. This like all other attraction in NYC, it is a one shot kind of deal just to say you have been there.
Places I have been to in NYC that I will most likely never go again:

Empire State building....its a tall building....and.........
Madame Tussuad's Wax Museum.......it was fun but a little pricey and once you have seen it once you have seen it a million times.
Statue of Liberty......every American has to see it at least once!
Trade Towers.....no disrespect to anything related to 9-11 and I am glad I can say I was there, but they once were just buildings.
Time Square on New Years Eve.......I would go again if the temps go above, lets say 70! But been there, done that, and froze my ass off!

The Natural History Museum and Art Museum, I have been to as well but I love going there and will go back again and again. I love history and I love art and the fact they are always changing stuff around; one never knows what they might have next time around.

I love NYC and once upon a time wanted to live there, but that is a want I no longer have. I love taking little day trips here and there but that is a lifestyle I do not want, I want to de-stress these days. And NYC is all about the fast paced life of run here, run there and curse at anyone that gets in your way. Now, I am not saying I want to move the the country, I would not fit in there either. I just need a nice medium, and Jersey was once that medium but I fear I am becoming to 'Jersey Shore' for my taste.

To sum it up I would love to find a place that has some city, some country and some place to call home that allows my inner idiot to shine. I recently had a conversation about my inner idiot and found this clip that shows what he sounds like. I loved this movie when I was a kid and I think I adopted his laugh as my own.....but only during those times I am truly 'Feeling Stoopid'

My Laugh

This weekend:

2010-12-06T11:20:00.003-05:00

This weekend was a very productive one, I shoe shopping with the wife to help her pick out shoes for her party dress. Yes I like going to the mall, no matter what the reason is. The wife is going to her company Xmass party without me this year, damn school and my need to pass :(

But what can one do, I have to go to class that night the teacher made that very very clear. So I might shot up there afterwards just to see her in all her glory. And to parade around the room and show her off.....'You see that hot piece of ass....yeah I hit that!'

And after only three hours of searching she found what she was looking for, and even got a nice necklace and earrings to match as well. I know most men hate the mall and all the walking around but for me its just a fun day out with the wife. I take whatever alone time I get with her :)

I mean with legs like that what red blooded straight man wouldn't right?
She even tried on another dress but she noticed it showed off the girls jussst a little too much lol:

On Sunday we had a birthday party to go to, our neighbors kid turn 5 and they had the party at the skating rink. I am not sure why but Seth and Lucas ate like there was no tomorrow. One would have thought I never gave them food the way they were putting it away, it was just too funny!

Seth spent all his token on this game, he loved being Homer. I remember playing this game back in 1994 with an old girlfriend at Seaside Heights! We spent I dont know how much but we beat the game, Jersey Fist pumping the whole time!

Just a friendly reminder to those who go out in public, I have a camera and I know where to point it lol

This is a picture of the card I got for the little girl.....I could not find any good kiddie ones so I got this one. The inside read:
'We ran into a little snag with the party entertainment on the way to the party'

And after we were all loaded on high fatty food and sugar we headed home for some cleaning, Chinese food and Xmass lights. I have to get a picture of the lights, but we are not done yet so I will probably get one later on tonight.

Backyard camping

2010-12-03T11:20:00.003-05:00

We have been trying to get out to the great outdoors for sometime but this that and everything has stopped us. But last week we put our foot down...until the weather man called for below freezing temps and snow. And not being all that well equipped for that kind of camping we took it to the backyard:

This was more of a spring cleaning of all the stuff we have accumulated in the past 12 years. Taking stock in what we have and what we need. I now know I need a new sleeping bag, blankets and sheets are just not the same lol.
I was able to get rid of a bunch of stuff that was old, broken or missing parts. We have three tens, two of which we put up and the other has never been used. So it is safe to say that one is still good lol. The two tents worked perfectly, no rips, holes or issues with any of them. Tent test 100%

Now when camping in the backyard in urban areas you have to be careful with where you put the camp fire.....you cannt have a camp site without a camp fire...duh! So we borrowed this homemade fire pit made from an old beer keg. And it worked like a charm!

And as you can see one of most entertaining things one can do while camping is finding random stuff to burn! Luckily Devon brought some old homework that had to go down in flames haha!

And as the weather man stated, it was cold even far away from the mountains it was cold. Lucas did come out for a few moments to see what we were up to. But it was just too cold for him to stay out too long.

As the night wore on we started to wonder what could we do for fun.....so we came up with the idea to run a power cord and hook up the Xbox for some COD in the great outdoors. Nothing says camping in the backyard like fresh air video games!

We all slept outside in the cold, like real men. And the wife kept saying "If you catch a cold I dont want to hear it!" Well it has been 6 days since we survived the long cold night and no one has gotten sick. Just remember kids....take you vitamins, drink your milk and masturbate everyday to keep the bad germs away.

After breaking camp we organized everything and moved all the camping gear to our place. It is now packed away all set to go if we should ever have the urge to just pick up and pretend to be homeless again. We also took this time to get all of our Xmass stuff organized as well. Now that we have a place to store stuff we are getting everything organized, once everything has its place it will be easier to find.

Back from the dead....somewhat

2010-11-19T12:34:00.006-05:00

It seems I am always playing catch-up here, I really need to come back to my place of therapy more often. Soo much has happened I dont even know how or where to begin. So lets just do a hit on a few points and go from there: (and yes the odds are they are out of order)

Went to California with the wife for a kid free week vacation. Had a blast, I have tons of pictures I will put up at some point. Just the thought of going through them all gets my procrastination running at full steam lol.

Had my car towed because I let my registration run out. The cop also added insult to injury by giving me a ticket for unclear plates! I paid for the towing and the registration ticket but fought the unclear plates....and fucking won. I got that ticket thrown out...I will have to do a blog on that whole ordeal someday lol.

Halloween came and went, the kids all had fun. And the wife had to hide their candy from me....bad me.

Speaking of eating....I have gained all the weight I lost so its back to square one. I know the winter has not even started but I had better get cracking before all the holiday food pushes me over the gut wall.

We went up to PA for Devon's birthday for a day of paintball and had a blast. I only took one picture, of the spot on my neck where a paintball nailed me:

And yes it looked like a hickey for about a week lol

I am still plugging away at the college thing. I have about 3 more weeks left in this semester so the big push is on. This weekend some of my classmates and myself are going to the Sex Museum in NYC. It is part of the class, we have to write a paper on the trip so it wont be all fun and games. And yes i will be taking pictures lol.

Me and the wife unit are doing much better, we have weathered the storm and come out in a much better place. It was a bit scary for a time but it has been laid to rest.

I am probably leaving out some other things I can not think about right now but that is what happens when I let things get to far gone. I miss coming and bitching on my blog and also commenting on other people's bitching. I wont make any promises but I am going to try to at least do this once a week instead once every 3 months lol.

But let me get back to 'trying' to get my school work done...and I stress the trying part lol. I will leave with one picture we took while out in Cali of our new found friends we made while out in west. And yes they were all Mexicans and no they did not speak Spanish lol:

Long time no Blog!

2010-09-17T06:25:00.006-04:00

It has been a while since I have put pen to paper....er...fingered my keyboard....ummmm....blogged! Yeah that's it! But it is what it is and I swear I will try to start back up again. I am just being a lazy shit and I hate that I have not been blogging more. There have been soo many things I wished I had blogged about and now I feel like I have to back track a bit. So let me start off my blogging resolution with our most recent adventure that went down this weekend:

TRIP TO ATLANTIC CITY 2010!

We took a little bus trip with the wife's co-workers. It is not a work sponsored trip so some of the controls that would go along with a work function were turned off.....so that means no nasty emails from HR come Monday morning if you were the designated lush for the night lol.

We had made plans with our friends Pete and Monica to stay the night so we did not have to rush or worry about catching the bus back. Monica ended up getting her room for free due to her frequent loser miles she had on her casino card.

We started at the Showboat but only stayed there for a second, then we went on our way to the Trump Plaza where our room was waiting. It was a bit of a walk from the Show Boat to the Trump Plaza, and the wife wore heels which was to be her down fall later.

We started gambling once we got all situated in the Plaza, Pete took me to the craps table to learn me some new ways to loose my money; Monica and Lilian went to collect a free food processor they had won and then off to the slots. The wife unit ended up loosing all her money but I did pretty good on the three card poker table. I started with $100 ended up winning that back and then some. I wanted to play so I put the 100 in my pocket and played with my winnings. Once my winnings were all gone I got up and left the table. We played for about an hour and had fun. I did not blow my load all at once and even walked away with what I started with haha! Don't let the house beat you on all levels, yes I did not walk away with anything extra but I also did not spend anymore than what I came down with.

After that it was off to eat myself stupid and walk the boardwalk. Now as I mentioned the wife wore heels.....but changed to flats when we got to the room. And after all the walking we did that night she ended up hurting her left foot. But we still had fun.

1) Gee Walley do you think that is a casino?

2) Taking a break in the room before going back out for more fun.

3) Once you have been there once you have been there a thousand times.

4) Wife texting and taking touristy pictures. I love being a tourist!

5) Man....I mean woman down.....

As I mentioned before this was not a 'work function' so some people took the liberty to just let it all hang out, of which some ended up all over the floor of a night club in one of the casinos. And if you saw what they were drinking on the bus it would have come to no surprise the light weights would be down for the count by the end of the night.

I dont know her name but she will never live down this night as long as she works with these people. And thanks to some emailed photos they have proof lol.

6) 'Dear God, if you make the room stop spinning I swear i will never drink that much again.....and one more thing can you please tell me why my pillow smells funny?'

I took this picture of the Madison Hotel because it reminded me of something out of a horror movie. As it turns out it has been closed for sometime and there is little hope it will open again. I now have the urge to get in there and rome around. It must be eerie at night with no lights on. Hell turn it into a haunted house ride! 14 stories of terror, only at Alantic City!

7) The Madison House Hotel

8) And here I was trying to get a shot of the carpet but some floozies got my my shot!

Over all we had a great trip, ate toooo much did not spend a whole lot of money and even had some fun alone time.....did I mention it was a kid free weekend?!?!

Back to Skool

2010-09-09T12:41:00.008-04:00

Yep it is that time again, for myself and the kids. I actually started last Thursday but it was only one class. The kids started yesterday but have off today and tomorrow for the Jewish holiday of.......I have no idea but they have off school.

My first day back was nothing to even blog about, Human Sexuality, just some bs class I took because I registered late. I have class Monday-Thursday nights, again no biggie. I am just going into this semester and all following with a new mind set. I am not going to let this stress me out, it isnt a do or die situation its just skool. And to try and help me along with my new sense of being I started the first day off trying to let everyone know where I stand with my new out look on things:

I was in NYC a few weeks back and saw this tee shirt and I had to have it. It just screamed my name as I walked by it!

Now the kids school year has started off with the usual cluster fuck of chaos that is the Elizabeth Board of Education. I am sorry but they had months to plan for this day so there really isnt any excuse for the shit storm we walked into when we got to Seth's school.

There was absolutely nothing planned, nothing posted and any answer you got was usually contradicted two seconds after you got it. Normally I would not say I could have done better, but in this case I could have way better. Hell a drunken monkey with no arms could have done better.

No one knew what was going on, no one could tell us anything useful and the people receiving the beating was the teachers, that had no say in how it was handled. May people like to blame someone, anyone just so they can point the finger at some person responsible. But here I am not even sure whom to blame. I know the teachers are not to blame because they were handed the same information we got......yesterday. Which was much of nothing. I am not sure if I can blame the principle because he does not have as much control over the school as one would think, and I sure as hell cannt blame the politicians that do not even have a clue to where the schools are because all their kids go to private schools.

But whom ever is to blame for this really needs to be taken out and beaten in the public square. It is disgraceful and it happens every year. So we were not all that surprised but it is still a dilemma that could have been easily avoid by some simple, simple planning.

But it is over and the ball is now rolling, it is a new school year with new hope that a rocky start can end with an over all good year. It is now time for me to get my ball rolling on my school work so let me end this with some pictures of their first day:

'The Bathroom Pirate'

2010-08-16T08:40:00.005-04:00

Say hello to the Bathroom Pirate:

He is a typical tourist keep sake my mom got when she went to the Bahamas; that she keeps on the back of the toilet in her bathroom. But for my youngest it is nightmare worthy. He is terrified of this thing, he wont go into the bathroom at my mom's if it is in there. We even threaten him with it whenever he is misbehaving. So what does a parent do with information like this? That is right, we use it as entertainment at his expense. If there is a hell I will see you there hahahaha!

We went to my mom's on Sunday and as usual I had to assure him it was not there, just so he would not peep his pants out of fear of the Bathroom Pirate. So I snuck it out and put in the car for a little fun. Here you see him getting into the car unaware of what is in his seat:

And here are some pictures of his reaction to his nemesis:

1) 'Good god he is following me!'

2) I bet he will get me back in the years to come for this.

3) As the wife says I am awful for doing this she has no problem with having a little fun as well.

4) And one more for the road, he loathes this thing with a passion lol

And just a side note here, he was not crying about it even though the pictures make it look like he was having a fit. It was all in fun and on the ride home he was fine.

This was a good weekend, nothing to really complain about really. I bougth some gin and tonic to help make cleaning the house a little more entertaining. I wanted to get Tangera (sp) but I was not willing to shell out the money for it lol. But I also did want to buy the super cheapy stuff that is just crap, so I bought one I have never tried before. And I must say it was just as good, and for the price I might be changing my favorite brand of gin lol. Nothing makes cleaning the house fun like being blitzed out of your mind at the same time :-)

The weather was so so, so we did not go to the beach. So it was a good time to stay in and clean. It seems things are starting to cool off a bit. I hope we have a few more warm weekends before the fall hits so we can get the beach at least one more time.

Hells Kitchen Party

2010-08-04T08:17:00.007-04:00

There are lots of pictures here and I am pressed for time, so I will do the intro and let the pictures speak for themselves.

Last Saturday me, the wife unit, the navy boy, the SIL and her boyfriend went to this bar in Newark, NJ called Hell's Kitchen. They were hosting their 3 year anniversary party of the Rocky Horror Picture/Burlesque Show. What it came down to was half naked women dancing.....well more like 95% naked! And some people putting on skits from the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now, if you have never seen this movie go see it, rent it, buy it, pirate it...I don't care but you have to see it! Every American has to see this train wreck of an awesome movie. It is all that makes America great, someone with a simple/insane idea can become famous.

We all had a blast, I stopped drinking like a fish sometime ago so the double shots of vodka, Jameson and the numerous beers I had really sent me rolling. Nothing bad happened and no hang over. Just woke up feeling a bit odd, and wondering where all these Coors Light hats/tee shirts and huge lip balloons got in my house. LOL

1) You sure gots a purdy mouth there city boy!

2) Pink Steal, the female version of 'Blue Steal'

3) This was only the beginning.......

4) The family

5) The look of a man looking for some poontang.....

6) All I can say about this guy.....is that if he joined the military they would not have to ask and telling would be a mute point....

7) As you can see alcohol does impair judgement.....I become a huge ass grabber the more I drink. Men...women....no one is safe from the Groper!

8) With my beer goggles on I was in lust....and even with them off.....I am still there lol

9) Does anyone want to make a wish?

10) The SIL said something later on about this that made me almost piss my pants. She said, and I quote, 'I was startled when the women took off their bras.' Now if you knew her at all this would come as a surprise because nothing seems to bother her when it comes to stuff like this. So for her to say it 'startled' her is freaking too funny!

11) Now to say that this guy was/is a flamer.....is a true understatement. For some reason the Rocky Horror Picture Show attracts a lot of people that are gay.....I have no idea why.....But you got to lovem!

12) Dont ask because I have no idea why I took this.....I was drunk at the time....

13) And as you can see sooooo was Douglas....'Yeah yeah time to get double fisted'

14) Again the beer goggles were in full effect, but I have learned through the years to always keep that beast in check when the alcohol starts to flow. It is better to sit back and watch than it is to try and undo something or someone lol

15) Mr. Gold shorts over here just loved to dance, dance, dance....well at least what he thought was dancing.

16) Ummmm yeah I cannt really say much about this one......

17) Here she is again with he rings of fire......a funny note on the fire. The next morning I was picking my nose ( and yes I pick my nose just like everyone else ) and found that what was in my nose was BLACK. For the life of me I could not figure it out, but then it hit me.....The fire performers always use kerosene in their shows. And kerosene is known for its soot creating properties, and since we were so close to the show we go some black boogers as a keep sake.

18) She was smokin.....man that was bad lol

19) Did you know that Johnny Cash turned down a hemorrhoid cream company for the rights to use his song 'Ring of Fire' in one of their commercials? Somethings do not have a price tag, way to go Mr. Cash!

20) Having no body hair is probably a good thing when spinning fire around your body for a living.

21) Last picture in my camera from that night.....and I do not remember taking this one so I have no idea what is going on. I am curious, is she hiding her girls from me or someone in front of her trying to give her a titty twister?

I started a post and forgot to finish.....

2010-07-26T07:25:00.000-04:00

I started this post three days ago but I really could not get it going. I just have not been feeling the want to do much of anything these days but I force myself, one foot in front of the other. Things are.......well they just are. I cannt say it is bad but I also cannt say they are good either, and that is what eats me up the most I think. The uncertainty of all of this, the not knowing.

A fellow flickr friend, Hogan, has helped me with giving a name to what has been going on with me. He told me that he sometimes does what he calls "Ghosting People". He said it is when things in a relationship take a turn for the worse and one trys to salvage some emotional ground by ghosting the person. And it basically boils down to turning off your emotions to a person and or situation to the point they become invisible and that what they do or say can no longer hurt you. And what got me about what he said is that is kind of what I have been doing with myself. I am not trying to do this but it seems that is what is slowly happening. My emotions have made me a wreck and I want some control so I kind of started down that road. I am going to try and keep my emotions from getting the best of me because I am not sure I want to ghost anyone just yet. As long as there is a glimmer of hope I will hold fast. I want there to be hope so I wont let things slip to far into the shadow lands. But I also know that at some point I might have to ghost, just for survival shakes but for now I am just going to tread water because I have hope for a passing ship.

I see hope in our lives, we took the kids to Sandy Hook on Saturday and Sunday. I have some pictures that I will post later this week. We are also spending the day together tomorrow, I switched shifts with a coworker so I could have off the same day she has off. I know I might be just grasping at straws but I would rather that than just giving up. It is strange to be where I am, I sometimes feel normal and then the next second I have to hold my breath to compose myself. Music seems to set me off a lot and even little things that should be up lifting have me falling apart. I came across something today that I am trying to use as a building block to putting myself back together. There are a few points in this video that did pull a little but the moral of the story is what i am trying to use. Take a look and tell me what you think:

The True Meaning of Life

I am going to try on working on this; looking at the small pleasures of life and also with being more patient with everything and everyone. I really seemed to have lost that, and I feel that has been my biggest down fall in all of this. My inability to see what was going on right before me, and that by the time I did it was almost to late. Please take a moment and close your eyes and take nothing for granted, because the things you see with your eyes maybe the very things that are blinding you to what you have and not what you you think you should have.

One more brick in my rebuilding:

'Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.'
'Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.'
'Walk beside me and be my friend.'
- Albert Camus

Well over due......

2010-07-16T07:49:00.002-04:00

Ok, I am really late with this post but I have been trying to get a lot of stuff in order. My blog being one of them and my constant putting off of things that need to get done. But then again who isnt guilty of that? haha

I was in Florida from June 25th till June 29th, well almost. It started out on June 25th with me getting text after text from the airline about my flight being delayed. Normally I would not have cared about that but I had to catch a connecting flight from Atlanta GA. to Pensacola FL. We could not find any direct flights there so I had to do the whole one flight here then another flight there. So, my concern was the connecting flight, it was leaving out of Atlanta at 2315hrs that night and I did not want to miss it.

Well after a whole bunch of delays we finally got off the ground, but we were delayed in the air because of runway issues. And would you know it, I missed my connecting flight by 15 minutes! Oh fucking hell, and the next flight did not leave until 0830hrs the next day! I wanted to raise all kinds of hell but I was not really in the mind set to argue about anything. I just took a big old bite of the shit sandwich and smiled.

I spent the next 9 hours wandering around the airport making numerous single serving friends. One of which I had the pleasure of talking to for 4 hours! I have this ability to get anyone talking, and usually its the people with problems that want to unload are the easiest to talk to. My first single serving friend was named Meily, she is from Hawaii and was trying to get home. So here is Meily's story:

I saw what I thought was a guy just standing outside by the pick up and drop off area, sorry no offense Meily, but then 'he' turned around and I saw 'her' knockers. And big ones to boot lol! She had really short hair and a baseball cap so the mistake was understandable from the rear, but I will say she had a very pretty face. I am kicking myself because I didnt get a picture of her, it didnt dawn on me until she was gone.....la sigh. Now, I had bought some smokes for the trip which I know was bad but these days they have been a real comfort. And nothing breaks the ice like giving a woman in need a smoke haha.

Well, after our introductions I was able to get her life story and hell I am not even sure where to begin with her lol. She was in Atlanta because her would be husband never came to get her when she landed in Washington, D.C. You see she was supposed to be getting married that very day but the would be groom went AWAL on her. So she took a flight to Atlanta where she had family but they lived 4 hours away from Atlanta by car. So she was at the airport waiting to be picked up.

It turns out she is a Marine, just back from Iraq, lost the hearing in her left ear due to a mortar going off next to her, been married two other times and to top it all off her friend is having a baby that she plans on adopting. So her plans to be married, with her new baby had fallen through so she is now making plans on being a single mom in the military.

Needless to say those 4 hours of chatting went by pretty fast lol. After she left I met some drunk dude wandering around the airport, he said he was homeless but he never asked for money and had to be the best dressed homeless person I have ever met. Then I met another guy in the smoking lounge in the terminal. And yes the Atlanta airport has a smoking lounge in it!

Well this guy was dressed in full army camo, even down to the boots! I come to find out he got out of the military 20 years ago.......so whats up with the gear? I never really found out, just another guy who never let go I guess. But he helped pass the time chatting about this, that and nothing at all.

The below picture was taken about 0200hrs in the morning out in the pick up and drop off area. The guy in the bottom left hand corner was passed out when I got the camera out but popped awake for like 2 seconds when I took it. Then he was back to lala land.

See, I wasnt joking!

I finally get to Florida but had to wait for Doug to get done with his classes to come pick me up. I am not used to the Florida sun at all and was just about blinded by the sun when I stepped out of the terminal. I had been awake for almost 30 hours at this point with no real desire to go to sleep just yet. I had already waisted enough time trying to get here and I wasnt about to waist anymore sleeping haha.

After Doug picked me up we went back to the base got dressed for the beach. We meet up with some of his buddies with a cooler full of beer and hit the sand. I stopped and got some sunscreen, SPF 70! And for good reason, just look how white I am!

It was hot, Florida hot! I have no idea how people can live down there, it is just to damn hot.....all the time. And the water was warm, I am used to the Jersey shore. Where it is hot on the beach but the water is freezing, not in Florida. It had to almost 100 degrees outside and the water had to be almost 80! But it was fun never the less.

Now for the next 3 days we bar hoped all over the place. From Buffalo Wild Wings, to this huge outdoor bar called Florida-Bama, to Hopjack and so on. It was a nutritional nightmare of a vacation but I regret nothing lol. Here we have Doug at this place called Hopjacks. -take note of his hat ;) -

There was a live band playing that night, they were really good, not my taste in music but they put on a good show. Now, Hopjacks had one thing I have never come across.....Vodka infused flavors that just defy reason. You cannt really see it in the picture below but right behind the bartenders head are large jars with Vodka and .....other things to give it flavor. The normal stuff is on top, like different fruits and so fort. But the two I could not even bring myself to try were the Peanut Butter and Jelly, which was just Vodka and peanuts. And the other one ....ready for this BACON. Yes I said bacon, the jar was filled with bacon and Vodka! I love bacon with a passion but some things just should not be mixed with it.........namely Vodka.

One of Doug's buddies said the peanut butter and jelly one was actually really good but I just took his word for it. Just thinking about it now makes my gut do flip flops. Here is the band, sort of a reggie sounding band. And even though the bar was small the sound was great, not to loud and no feedback.

Last day there we had a barbq on the base. It was hot, just hot as Florida can get lol.

The guy in the hat is Doug, he has the affinity for hats these days lol.

And thanks to BP the beachs were closed due to the oil. This beach was right next to where we were cooking, it sucked that we could see the water but could not go near it! So a real big FUCK YOU to BP for this.

Gee I wonder where those steps go to?

This is a shot from the beach up to the Navy lodge, I wonder how many venomous snakes live in there?

Everyone but me was tan, I felt like an albino around people here lol.

I have been trying to get this post out for a while, my desire to blog seems to waver in and out. For a while I just did not want to do anything, I felt like a wind up toy. Going through the motions of being human but not feeling alive. This also related to why I was smoking so much, smoking seemed to help fill a void in me but I know it isnt a healthy way to deal with it. I have cut them way back but some days are just harder than others. Tuesday was a really bad day for me, I had gone 2 days without any but on the third day I just kind of went into a downward spiral. I cannt say what set it off, if I knew what triggered these days it sure would help.
Today is Friday so I should be happy, and in all I am some what. This funk I am in is more than a funk, its a lot deeper that only time will work out. It is still early so lets see how this day pans out, one step at a time I guess.

My last July 4th post

2010-07-07T10:09:00.005-04:00

July 3rd:

Nothing to big just a barbq, watched the soccer game and let the kids play in inflatable pools.
Here we have the boys of summer. Mine are always the whitest kids in the group lol.

It was hot as hell this day and this did not help~~~>

The wife passed out in her chair while reading. So you know what I did? That is right, I took pictures of here haha.

Say hi to Katarina, you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you cannt pick your friends nose. Unless they are freaks like me, go ahead pick my nose....I dare you.

July 4th:

We went to the movies on Sunday. The kids and myslef went to see Toy Story 3 and the wife went to see the new Twilight movie Eclipse. I was not about to be subjected to another Twilight movie, I had to suffer through the first two and that was enough. And in all I would say Toy Story was a better pick of the two. Awesome movie, everyone should go see it.

I was a bit concerened that the kids would make noise during the movie but once the previews were done and the actual movie started they did not make a sound until the credits rolled. It is just amazing the power some movies have over kids lol.
Here we have Lucas with his 3-D glass, he didnt want to take them off lol.

After that we stopped at ToysRus to get the kids a little pool for the backyard. We were going to have a cook out at here mom's and decided it was too hot not to. One thing to really take note here, I blew that fucking thing up with out an air compressor. The wife went back home to get it but by the time she found it I was already done. I would not advise anyone to try that.......

There is white and then there is Lucas White.....

We found him a little man chair in the garage that was Seth's when we went camping some years back.

The only draw back to spray on sun screen, it makes you all shiney!

I dont think this was ment for older kids but the life guard was out to lunch when Alan jumped in lol.

And after the day was over; what better way to wind down than some Wii time? Here we have Seth trying to teach Lucas how to play a Mario Bortheres game. Needless to say it was just too funny. I really need to get my video camera out more often. Lucas was just all over the place lol.

On a different note:
I recently reconnected with an old work friend that has been out in California for the past 3 years. She has been working on an internet magazine called Tight Rope. She has come back to Jeresey for a time and has been telling me all about it. She asked, just in passing if I would be interested in doing some write ups in it. I had mentioned to her I was an avid blogger and loved to write, she just dropped that idea of me doing a peice on her website. Well, I sent in sort of an intro to who I am what I want to write about and she loved it. It is still on the ground level with a lot of things and I am not going to get paid but at this point I am not looking for a job as a writer. I just write for the fun of it, and once doing something you love becomes a job it isnt fun anymore. So for the time I am going to just see where it leads, if no where then hey no biggie. I do have some hope it can become something more, I am a bit apprehensive about letting the world read how poorly I can write lol.

Day two.....

2010-06-18T08:54:00.004-04:00

Of not smoking and it only really sucks when I am at work lol. When I am home there is little desire to even think about it. But at work it gnaws at my brian and it just sucks. But I want it and this will be fixed soon. I know why I started and I have come to terms with why I continued. I have a void in me and it filled it, not the best way to deal with something but it was a temporary solution. Now I am search of filling the void again, not sure what I am going to use but I am looking for something healthier and also something that doesnt smell so bad lol. I have been looking for a while for something, not sure what but we all know how that search goes. We can never find what we want when we want it, we always find something when we arent looking or when we no longer need it. This is a notion that has been playing out in my head for a while. I am not saying I am going to stop looking but I am not going to look as hard as I have. I am just going to keep an open mind and go from there. And who knows, I start college again in September and with a new out look on it maybe something will fall in my lap then.

On a different topic I have been thinking about making my blog private. I have not had any stalker problems or troll issues but I have just been thinking about making my feelings more private. If I do I will send invites to all those I currently know just so i dont lose any of the people that have shown me so much support with what I have been going through. I am still just thinking about it, I might not do it right now it is just a thought. I have always been open to people just popping from out of no where and commenting and I dont think I want to cripple that. But anyone that has been following me can see why I am not sure I want all to open unbridled with the world seeing me......well the me that has been evolving.

Life is just a journey that sends us in all kinds of direction, most of them are not planned or exspected. I would have never thought I would be where I am now, mentally. There was a time i did see it but again things changed and went in a much better direction. But these days I just dont know, I dont know where I am going or where I want to be. There are things I am sure of, I will always be there for my kids; always. I am going back to college to finish what i should have finished years ago, I am going to reconnect with myself and become that independate person I once was. At a time all I really needed was me, and it is time I build that back up. I let that fall so far that when I had to try and get that back it was gone. One of those life lessons we learn over and over again. Never take things for granted those are the things that will let you down in the end.

It is time for coffee and no smokes, I have talked myself off that ledge numerous times today. I even try rationalizing by more for 'emergencies' but I know how I am so that really isnt an option. Today is Friday, nothing really planned for the weekend just going to go with whatever comes around. I am trying not to plan soo much and over think the future. Whatever it will be is what....well, what it will be.

The wife has been watching the World Cup, and me not being much of a sports fan has not really put too much time into it. But her country did beat South Africa the other day. So we took this picture of Seth (with his summer mohawk) and her wearing their jerseys in celebration. I dont know much about the World Cup but it will take a long time before we get to the last and final game to find out who will be the World Cup Champions.

*Warning I am about to pour some personal shit out here*

-I thought I was done with what I wanted to type out but it seems there is something that I want to get out. I was not to sure about airing it out here but as of now I feel I want to:

About a week ago we decided we are going to 'separate' and just keep it to ourselves about it. We just wanted to, I guess, give a name to what or where we are now. Our original notion not to tell people came from the idea I know what people think when they hear that someone is separated and that is not what we are. No one is moving out, we still sleep in the same bed, have diner as a family and do all the stuff we used to do. It is just where we are mentally right now. And in all honesty we have been 'separated' for sometime now. But what started another round of fighting this past Monday she told her internet friend from CA the day after we had this discussion about it. I do feel I was in the right in what I wanted to talk about, in the sense we said we were going to do one thing and she-again-did another.
But in the end we were back to pointing fingers and arguing about the same stuff. Getting off track and going into areas that had already been discussed. I did find something about myself in this argument. I just went on and on, to the point I just did not know how to end it or where it left us. It end with us at odds with each other and me going out and buying more smokes. And like I said I felt justified in starting it but what I found out about me is that I tend to fall off track and just rub it in over and over again. Looking back with rational eyes I see that I need to work on how I approach something like this. I know where I am with this and see how I get. I am going to try something new, I am big on writing so that is what I am going to do. If there is something I want to talk about I am going to put it in writing and send it to her. An email or the old fashioned hand written note. This way I can keep myself in check and make sure I can get out what I want and nothing more. I dont want to come to verbal blows again and back in the same place where I dont know where to end and with no real way out. On Monday I was almost on the out for good with this. I wont sugar coat it in way, but we were able to come down off the ledge we had gotten ourselves back on to.
As of today things are better and back to where they were before Monday. I cannt get much out of her because she says she is confused to what she wants and I am confused to where I am with all of this. People change, for the good or the bad. And even if it is for the bad fighting about will only make it worse and I am tired of fighting. I am just going to let things lie for the time being and move on with myself. Staying the course of what I want to do with my life, with hope she will be there with me. She is the only woman I want in my life but I cannt make her want me the same. My actions of late have not helped the situation so I am working on not putting more stress in a place it is not needed. I told her i will give her time and try not to pester her about where she is but I also told her I am not going to wait forever. At some point I will check out and move on, I have already checked out some what. I had to, pouring all my emotion into one person has really put a hurt on me in a way i would never wish onto another person. I have not given up on hope, I will hold on as long as I can and be patient with all of this. It will take time and I cannt rush this, no matter how much I want to I cannt be pushy with the place we are in now.
I was not sure I wanted to air this out, but in the end I am glad I did. One more thing that is not festering in me, history tells me when I let things fester it ends in a very ugly place. I am not even sure how to stop with this post, there is just so much going on in me I cannt seem to figure it out on my own. But this is the best therapy I have at the moment. I am going to see a friend that is a family counselor, on the side nothing official just someone to give me something with outside eyes. I hope to see him this weekend or early next week, I have to wait until all of his nut cases have been taken care of first lol.

The weekend.....

2010-06-14T10:57:00.002-04:00

It was a busy weekend, but not in a bad way. The wife had me watching some soccer, world cup and all has all the soccer fans out in full force lol. I personally could careless about it, not a big sports fan on any level. But I will watch an cheer on any team that I am in company with.

We went out and finally got our flag poles, I would have preferred a real flag pole but this will due until we have our own place.

We also took a road trip out to Red Bank, NJ to see Jay and Silent Bob's comic book store. I did not even know it existed until recently, and being a Jersey boy I had to make at least one trip out there!

It was smaller that I expected but it had all kinds of cool shit it in. All kinds of stuff from all of their movies. Unfortunately I forgot my camera but we did get a few from the wife's cell phone. Here we have me in mind sentence in front of a life size of 'Your Buddy Christ' from the movie 'Dogma'

And I HAD to get at least one item signed by Kevin Smith. I did not have 'Clerks' so I got this. I did not cost anymore than the usual Blue-Ray movie and it was singed!

Does anyone know who this is and what movie it is from? I do, i just want to see if anyone else is as cool as I am lol.

On the home front things are going, and that is about all I can really say. Things are much better than they have been by all means. Things still need to worked out but now it is all about just letting time heal things up. Wounds dont heal over night and neither do relationships. But anything worth working on is worth the wait on the healing process.

Moving on....

2010-06-10T12:13:00.004-04:00

Moving on in the right direction is about all I can say about all that has happened. We are working towards a better tomorrow and making the most of today. I am working on putting down the smokes once and for all, it isnt easy but it isnt something I want to continue. I have talked to her about my smoking and she cannt see how someone who quit so long ago is now having such a problem with putting the down again. And in all honesty explaining that to someone who has never been there is really hard. I am not going to try and make her understand, you cannt make someone understand something like that. I am on my own a bit with this nasty habit but I know it is something I want to do, and that alone is step one.

Where I am with all of this is now an interesting topic. I am past the anger, the fighting, the finger pointing and the rehashing of what happened. With all of the things that has happened I have finally been able to see it from her point of view and make peace within myself about it. I was making things worse by taking what happened by putting myself there and saying, 'Well, i would have done this' and 'I would have not done this' that was one thing that was keeping me from moving forward. But once that dawned on me I had to put the breaks on it and just understand where she was at why things went down the way they did. I am not going to lay out all the things that brought us to where we are because it isnt necessary. The thing about it all is that we grew apart, we have been slowly pulling away from each other that by the time it came to a head it was almost impossible to see how it happened. Lack of communication, understanding of the other person, and just getting to wrapped up in what we were doing that we lost each other in the process. Hope is not lost, all I have to do is be patient with all of this. Which is hard because we all want things to just get better, NOW. But it cannt and it wont. I do not want to go back to the way things were, I want to move into a new direction and be in an even better place than that.

I cannt say what the future holds and I wont even try to, looking too hard into things was part of my down fall. We live and we learn and rebuild stronger than when we started. If something is worth fixing then the effort put into it will make the out come soo much better. And in the end if it does not work at least we cannt say we didnt try or that it failed because of the same problems from the beginning. I have become some what numb to the situation just because I am a bit burnt out from this roller coaster I have been on. I am not saying I dont care or that I am emotionless to what is going on, it is just my mind has just gone into repair mode I guess. Making peace with everything and just getting into the mind set of being patient has brought me here.

The summer is about to begin, and many of the things that have put such pressure on us is winding down. I am looking forward to the months coming up, I am going to Florida in 2 weeks for some much need mental and physical R&R. I need a break right now, more than I have ever needed a break. I am hoping this trip will help further the healing and understanding I have been looking for. I know going away wont solve things but maybe it can help me purge my mind of all the crap that is still just mulling about in there.

So here is to a new me, a new us and a new out look on things. I am going through changes and with a bit of work all of them will be good changes. Going forward I wont be such a crab about college, I still dont have to like it but I can at least see it in a better light. This way it wont have me in a constant funk when I have to start back in the fall. Working on my attitude will help with so many things and just having a positive out look on things will help take away self generated stress. Because most of the stress we all deal with is self induced, we are not out there fighting for food and survival, so what is the point of stressing all the little things? Just let the chips fall where they may.

In the end this is what I what my life is all about and I will fight tooth and nail to keep, protect and love:

(sorry Devon this is the only picture I have on my work computer lol)

All one needs is hope.....

2010-06-04T13:00:00.002-04:00

I just saw the movie 'Legion', which was a great movie. But what I got out of it is that with just a simmer of hope people are willing to try to accomplish just about anything. Even if they know they might fail, hope gives us all reason to try.
I have hope, its about all I have right now. I have put down the smokes as of today, I dont want to keep that going anymore. I smoked my last one, lets see how bad things get. I know I will probably have one here or there in the future but nothing like I have been through in the past 7 days. I wont even admit to myself how much (about a pack a day since Saturday) I smoked. It is sick, and damn expensive! Even with smoking the cheapest ones I could find.
I used them to help with stress but now every time I smoke, the very fact I am smoking causes me stress. So they are done, I can control that stress and any stress I can take away I will.
I am also grateful I am on the meds I am on, they keep my mind clear and it doesnt wander off as much as it used to. I still catch myself starting up the old daydream reel, but I stop it before it gets to me. Speculation into what could be is pointless, adding scenarios into a situation of things that might never happen only brings me back to a really bad place. What happened is done with, it can not be erased and can not be forgotten. We learned a lesson from all of this and moved on, one has to learn or they will repeat it again.
I am so ready to move on but things just can not change over night, and I understand that. With nothing more than hope of a better tomorrow I move on. I can not account for what will happen from here on out and I am not going to try. When I do that I create stories in my head of all kinds of possibilities, many of them with a negative spin, and it brings me back down. I am not one to use religious quotes but sometimes we do find solace in some of the old wisdom. Help me change the things I can to make things better and help me accept those things I can not.

I find myself wanting to blog more and more, mainly because I am alone in all of this. I do have some people I could talk to, but I dont think unloading on them is what I want to do. So in the end all I have are my thoughts and my blog to set them out. This is my therapy, my friend and my comfort. I used to come here to bullshit, share pictures and make funnies; but as of late I have not been feeling humorous at all. I have not picked up my camera in almost a week, I really do not have any to share. I need to pick that back up, just not sure when I will feel like it. Moods alter everything about a person and my mood has altered me, into a state of numbness. My emotions have been on such a roller coaster lately that it seems I am building up and immunity to it.
I dont know where I want to go with this post, my life or my feelings. I am just laying them and and letting go, let everything just fall where they may and live. Losing all control and just letting go is where I am at, I am not saying I am going to go crazy eating or drinking I am just letting go of things I cannot control. They are what they are, and if everything turns out in my favor, GREAT! And if they dont then I will deal with it when it happens and not try to second guess it.

Back to square one......

2010-06-02T03:39:00.003-04:00

I have been at odds with putting these thoughts into writing for everyone to see. I use my writing as an outlet; to purge, sort and to get a better grasp on what is going on. Many things have been going on in my life; one that I really cannt control is that we got robbed on Saturday. I took the kids to the park and on the way home I got a call from the land lord that my front door was open. He was there doing some work on the upstairs apartment and saw something that looked funny. And low and behold I now have my 'My house was robbed' story. As it turns out these guys where going door to door asking if anyone had an apartment to rent looking to see who was home. Being a holiday weekend and all, people tend to go away on vacation. I just happened to be out of the house at the time they came knocking and they went to town. They got my wife's jewelry, my cell phone, the $300 dollars I had saved for my tattoo fund, an air soft gun, my kids tv, the kids Wii and Playstion, games, movies, my DKY watch and some other things I cannt think of right now. And the fact the land lord showed up when he did is probably why they did not get more.
I have come to terms with that all they did was take stuff, they did not break stuff or wreck the place to bad. I called the cops and did all the usual things a person would do when their house gets broken into. The wife was out in CA on R&R and I had to call her and break the news. I did not want to ruin her quiet time but she needed to know what happened. At least that way she could have time to digest it all and have a clear head about it by the time she got back.
Now that alone could stress someone out to no end but that was just more added to my plate of frustration and stress. The other part stems from the wife going out to CA on her much need time away. I wont go into it here, we are just in a rough place with each other. And that is what I am going to leave it at. We are working on getting passed it but it is a fresh wound that needs time to heal.
As of now we are strangers to each other, uncomfortable silence and awkwardness has become the norm. I am not sure what more I can say about it or that I want to say more about it. It is what it is and we both know why it has happened. Break down in communication is a key factor in all of this. There are a few other things but they are neither here nor there. I have been smoking like a crack fein, and I cannt seem to stop. Any time thoughts of our current situation comes to mind the urge to suck on a coffin nail creeps up on me like demon. I wont even admit to myself how much I have smoked in the past five days, it is sicking. And I they are not helping me in the end but right now they are my crutch, one that is sometimes the only thing that helps me walk. I am in a daze, I am no longer Phil, I dont know who I am or where I am going. I have done so much sole searching in the past few days, and all I can think of is that it is time to make a changed who and what I am. I am tired of telling myself I am lost I am tired of being in pain. I am making a stand for myself, the wife and I are working things out. I have no fear of that, I just now have to work things out with myself now. Reconnect with the person who understands me, knows where I am and where I want to go. In the past 24 hours I have gotten much of that squared away.
I really dont know what more I can say about it, I usually can fire off a blog post in record timing. To the point I have to reread what I typed to fix all the errors because I was typing so fast. But this one has been a very slow and thought out post. I do not have pictures to post, I did take pictures over this past weekend but have no desire to even take out the camera to upload them. I am working the night shift to night so I really have the time to, I am just not in the mood to be bothered with it as of yet.
I have not eaten much of anything since Friday. The stress of her trip was part of the first wave and then the house getting robbed just pushed it to an all knew place. I am now forcing food down because I know I have to eat. I have lost too much weight, I stepped on the scale today and saw 198! This has to stop I dont want to lose anymore. I know it sounds strange to hear me bitch about losing weight but I feel like I am waisting away. I have to stop smoking, I have to start eating more, I have to start working out, I have to gain some normalcy in my life. So lets see about changing the things I have control of and just let those I cannt work themselves out. I have a plan to put the smokes down by next Monday. From there I plan on start working out, slowly. My lungs are very angry at me right now and I know if I try to jump back into my old routine I would probably past out in a coughing fit.
I am angry, I am hurt, I am mentally in place I could have never foreseen me being in. And I am tired of it, I am letting go of the hurt, I do not wish harm on those who robbed my place. I know they will get theirs at some point in life, that old notion of karma does exist. Believe me it DOES and when it comes back for payment, it comes back in spades. I am not angry with my wife, it is done with and we have buried it. I am softening my mind, my heart and my words. I am not going to stur the pot, it has been put to rest and dwelling on it will only bring up more pain. So in ending this personal rant, Phil that was is gone. I am not sure what is in store with this new person I am getting to know but I see good things coming. We are all putting effort into becoming what we once where, when something breaks it mends back stronger that what it was before the event. And that is how I am looking at this.
Never take things for granted, never.

I must be seeing things.

2010-05-25T10:19:00.003-04:00

I have been trying to loose weight for sometime. I have tried all kinds of things through the years but I have finally done it. I got on the scale last week and saw my weight, and I told myself if I see it again next week then I will know it is true. Well, I got on the scale again and it is offical, I am at 203! I have not seen that number in.....I dont know when! I know I really need to start with the working out now, I have become such a loafer when it come to that. I just dont have the motivation yet, it is just a mental block that I have to break out of.
The wife has been doing well with her working out, so now I have to get my ass in gear. I want to tighten up and it wont happen by sitting infront of the tv or computer. I am going to aim for tonight as being my first step, getting the old Chuck Norris muscle machine out and dusting it off. I used to use that thing all the time now I just stare at it, well I think its time to put down the games and the pointless internet surfing.
I have my diet down pat now the next step to get back into my workout. I am going back to the curicut training, it is fast and probably the most effective way to get where I want to be. I just have to watch the eating, exercise increases the appetite like no tomorrow! And the old me would just eat and say I would burn it off later at the gym. Old habits die hard but I have not gotten all this way to start packing it back on!

The wife is going away with a friend for 4 days starting this Friday, and I dont know what to do with myself lol. I will probably go out on Saturday night with some friends and on Sunday if the weather is nice I will take the kids to the park or beach. We will see how things go.

Let the healing begin.....

2010-05-12T08:51:00.006-04:00

School is out for the summer so lets see if I can tame at least that part of the beast that has been paluging me. Many of the issues I have been having are starting to work themselves out. I am still trying to find an outlet, I am going to see if I can go to the rock climbing place on Thursday, we shall see. I really want to start that up again, I am making plans to go out just to see where this place is at, how much and so on. I never got to the point where I was actually capable of going on a real outing, and I would love to be able to do so this year.

I got my final grades back, all f-ing A's! Business, Art and Finance all A's, I must say that was some of the most stressful grades thus far. I am hoping for a better semester in the fall, maybe this time around with me and my meds I can keep the stress of the work load down.

I am now a Master Mason with the Free Masons at the LaFayette Lodge #27 in Rahway, NJ. I still have one more thing I have to do but it is going to be much easier than the other two! Below you will see a group photo of all the guys, I am on the bottom row, second to the last on the left. And on a personal note, the suit I was wearing that night was the same one I wore to the wife's Xmass party. I will admit it was rather snug at her party but that night I was almost loose! I have gone down 20lbs and it feels damn good! I got my eating in check now I have to get back to the old exercising which I have had no motivation for, but I have too one way or another.

I am slacking off big time with many things but I think I am getting back into the grove of my life again. I am looking forward to a few up coming events:

Going to Florida to visit the brother
Getting to met a blogging buddy that is supposed to be coming up to the NJ/NY area.....Sheila
I have been saving up money to get more work done on my sleeve.
Getting back to climbing/hiking
Going to CA. in October for a kid free vacation...yes kid free!
And spending time with the family in the great outdoors.

I am sick of the cold, the wet and rainy weather. I am soooo looking forward to get outside it isnt even funny!

Things are looking up....

2010-04-29T07:08:00.003-04:00

The wife unit and I have been doing a lot of talking and working through some stuff and everything is going well. My meds are helping me keep a clear head and helping me sort things out. Now if I could just stop being a lazy bastard I think I might be all squared away lol. One funny side effect of my meds is that I can finally breath out of both of my nostrils. For as long as I can remember I have never been able to breath out of both nostrils. It was just one of those things I had long since forgotten about until yesterday; it suddenly dawned on me I was breathing with both barrels! I know why but never thought it would take a powerful upper to do it haha.
And so far I have nothing but praise for the drug Vyvance, I am on it and my son is on it and it is doing wonders. I have read some stuff on line about it but as of now I have had none of the side effects I have read about. I have always had insomnia so that was not a worry. But, with my mind no longer racing all over the place I actually fall asleep right away. One of the problems with me was that if I got something locked in my head it would play out over and over again; to the point it would keep me awake. Now, when I lay down to sleep there is nothing working in my head. I still have my little day dreams but not like the crap I used to have in there.

Today is the first day without a smoke, I refuse to spend money on them and I do not hang out with people at work that do so I have no supply. If they were here I would probably smoke them lol. I am not saying I dont want one but wanting and having are two seperate things. And i no longer have that god awful taste in my mouth. As much as I love a good smoke the lingering after taste is enough to make me want to stop on my own lol.
I am now off to do some much needed school work, got to study for those damn finals, its almost over.....almost over......

I do have some picture I just got off my camera to share, what would a post from me be without pictures?

1) Lucas loves Thomas the Train, he is forever looking for his missing cars. I think this one was actually taken by Seth.

2) I took this one from the window in hallway. The screen gives a strange effect. This was Saturday, barbq, baseball, head shaving and way too many orange vodkas with red bull!

3) I bought this ball on a string toy to help teach the kids how to hit a baseball. The kids dont like it too much but the adults love it. It is fun, you can hit a ball as hard as you like and not have to go running for the damn thing. Or shell out money to pay for the damages the ball did.

4) I was leaving school the other night and just thought this looked cool. Not a big sunset/sunrise picture taker but once in a while I too wil take one.

5) And here we have Lucas and mommy. Man I swear I have some Asian blood in my family some where!

Time to say goodbye again to an old friend....

2010-04-28T09:40:00.003-04:00

As you know I have been in a rough patch in my life and turned to an old friend for comfort. But he is what we will call 'A Toxic Friend' and yes he is literally toxic. Cigarettes, they have been a crutch in the past and have come back to haunt me. But this love affair is over, as I am putting things right again I have to put them away. The wife unit knows that I have been smoking and does not like it. But she is all to aware of why I have been, it isnt rocket science. I get stressed I smoke, normal stress doesnt do it but the stress I have been through as of late was more than normal.

This is a quick post because I have lots to do and need to get cracking. So this is my fare-well to my old friend. I have to put you away before you put me away. I even threw out the lighter, i am done.

R.I.P, you nasty things:

A new out look....

2010-04-27T07:14:00.003-04:00

I went to the crazy doc yesterday to talk about a few things. And ended up getting the same meds my son is on, Vyvance. He gave the lowest dose to just see how it works for me. I have an appointment in 4 weeks to review things. I started it this morning and so far so go. It seems to be helping the most with keeping my over active day dreaming to a more controlled place. I think alot of my issues have stemmed from my mind adding things to a situation that were just unfounded. I am also hoping it helps me juggle work and school better. I have been so mentally checked out that I have been putting things off and putting them off for way to long. I am going to organize myself and get this shit done.

I am taking the summer off from school just so I can de-compress from everything. I have high hopes for salvation in the form of a bottle. And one that does not come with morning regrets and a pounding head. I have joined the masses in the medicated nation. And I am ok with that.

But on a funny note, when I was walking into the office I saw that someone seemed to have an issue with the sign or docs in the place. To the point they decided to run up on the lawn. I hope it was a drunk driver and not some disgruntled crazy person:

So here is to a new day with a new out look. I am also putting the smokes down, after today I am trying to do without them. My old friend is going back to that old place with hopes of only seem them once in a blue moon. You can give up smoking but smoking never gives you up.

Monday is my day of rest....

2010-04-26T12:28:00.002-04:00

As you can see I shaved my head this weekend. And no I was sober when it happened, cannt i stayed that way but it was something done with a clear head.
The weekend was busy as usual, we had a baseball game on Saturday. The kids are all doing so much better, I really need to get someone to video tape it. It is just too funny for words.
Then we had a little barbq and liquid adult refreshments. Orange vodka and red bull to be precise. And lets just say I enjoyed it to the max. Nothing bad happened but I did wake up at 0500hrs on Sunday morning on the couch feeling a little confused. I thought, 'oh shit what did I do that landed me here!'
But to my relieve, it was just the last place I landed when my lights went out lol.
--------
And that is also the time I decided my drinking needs to take a break. It used to be what I did when I was stressed but it does not seem to be helping me much. It was a relief to let go of it but it is still there. And will probably be there for sometime. I do have a confession about another vice I have started back up. Smoking, I know I know I will stop soon but for the time it is all I can think of doing when I feel the vibe crawling up my back.
I will say that it is a relationship issue that I am working on and it isnt earth shattering but it is still something that is being worked on. I just think I need to get away, I dont know where but just somewhere. And I know the problem wont go away when I come back I just want to go some place quiet to be alone for a while. I used to think if I had the chance I would have list of places to go, and now that I actually have the chance to go anywhere, there is no place I want to go. I started looking up places like Amstradamn (I know I butched that spelling) or some place closer. But all I keep coming back to is I really do not want to go anywhere where there at tons of tourist. I feel if I had to put up with that nonsense I would probably kill someone. Camping is starting to look pretty good right about now but even that I dont know if I want to. I am on a quest to reconnect with me, it is the only thing I have at the moment to go on. I have been thinking of taking up rock climbing again, but that will have to wait a few weeks until i am done with this smoking issue I have gotten back into and school.
I am putting the smokes down soon they are not helping me in the long run either but they are like an old friend and right now that is probably what I need above all. That is probably also why I come here, I have some of the coolest friends here too bad you are all so far away.
I am lost and really need to find my way again. I know everything will be cool in the end; the kids are healthy and happy, school sucks but it will always suck, I am still married with no intent of ever changing that, but it is time I take a step back from what has been going on. I can feel it pushing me farther and farther to a place I do not want to go to. Idile hands, are the devils workshop......these are words that ring true over and over again. A wondering mind can be a dangerous place. That is why I am putting on the breaks on a lot of things. And taking control over all that I have posted about in these past few weeks.
Today is a new day with new hope, lets see how it pans out.

Free Therapy.....

2010-04-19T11:25:00.004-04:00

I would like to thank all those who sent me messages and emails about these stressful times. Things are getting better and everything will be ok, and thanks to the fact I am done with my art paper does help but I still have one more to write but it really isnt a hard one.

Much of my stress has been self induced, my emotion have taken hold and I let them get the better of me. I have come to terms with this and decided it is time to bring them back in check. I dont want to turn them off as I have in the past, and yes one can do it when so inclined. But going around void of feelings is not a way to be.

I have been thinking about that movie: 'Equilibrium' with Christian Bale. If you have not seen it go get it, if you like the 'Matrix' then you like this one. In the movie; society has found the true root to mans injustice to man, emotions. So that found a way to suppress them to the point that no one acts out or responds to emotions. It is a bit far fetched but it does make sense. Crimes of passion, hate, lust and want are no more. I dont want to go to that extreme but I do wish I could turn them down. Emotions are often irrational and lead to making rash decisions because of a feeling.

The other night I wish I could have turned mine off and let things be, I was in a situation where my emotions put me in a place I have not been in a very long while. I was mad, no I was pissed beyond understanding. I cannt even remember a time I was that mad, at anything. I wont go into what set it off, it comes from a place I dont want to go into yet. But again my emotions went off like a gas fire and I could not stop it. I could not sleep and I was so wired up I did not even know what to do with myself.

And in hind sight it really should have not gotten that bad. That was the moment I decided to put my emotions in check, meditation and breathing techniques will be my tools. Whenever I feel the rise of bad emotions or irrational thoughts I just stop and move my mind else where. So far it has helped a bit, but each time I have to get a grip on it before it runs away from me. And when it starts running it is hard to stop it.

I always thought myself to be a pretty level headed person, I never went off on someone for cutting me off in traffic, I would never said things that were on the tip of my tongue in the heat of a moment, and I used to never let my feelings get the better of me. But these past few weeks I have just about broken all of those. Everything pisses me off, there has been nothing but bile and filth in my mouth and my emotion have been my guide.

I am taking a stand against myself at the moment, I am at war with what is festering and I shall win. We are our own worst enemy, the worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves and then try to make others believe as well. I am done with the lies and done with feeling like crap.

And here is one more tool I have been using on a daily basis to calm this green headed monster I have been dealing with. I dont feel like going into what it is, I was introduced to by my wife and her Uruguaina family and man does it help. If you want more info watch this video. The guys here seem a bit limp wristed but oh well, to each his own lol:< http://yerbamate.com/

Stress levels.....

2010-04-15T06:49:00.004-04:00

My stress levels are at an all time high right now. I cannt even seem to from the words needed to express myself. Work is probably the only place I have that has the least amount of stress, it is like that is where I go to get a break. I have papers to write but I just can not bring myself, as of now, to even begin them. I should workout/ run but my motivation or desire to do so is just gone. I find myself not wanting to eat so I have no worry about gaining weight lol.

My home life is just gnawing at me so bad these days. I try with all my might to act like everything is normal when it is not. I find myself in fits or anger, sadness and almost seer blinding confusion within seconds of each other.

Losing control and just letting go often seem like the best idea but I do not have that luxury. I wanted to come here to just unload but it is on a very personal level that I am not ready to share details as of yet but I had to let a little out or I feel this pressure is going to make me pop. I am do not want to take any more classes but I have to, I just want it over with but it just seems like it is never going to end. I have to register for summer classes but I have been dragging my feet so bad that I might miss getting any class, and I have to get at least one class in. Ether I take class or I start paying off this loan, damned if you do damned if you dont. I am sitting at work and feeling like a trapped animal with so much pent up frustration that I am not sure what to do first. All of the usual stress relievers seem to only make it worse. Drinking does nothing for me, I dont want to exercise and even the thought of it makes me annoyed, having a smoke only makes my mind wander more and I have no desire to eat.

I even spoke with a therapist about it and I am going back in about a week but happy pills wont fix the problem. I am in a place that I am unfamiliar with and having a hard time finding my way. I know it is only a phase and I will look back on this and only scoff at myself for being or thinking like this. But this is the here and now and I have having a hard time with it.

I am not sure where to put all of this, I am trying to put some of it here with hopes that looking back on it I might find a clue that I have been over looking. When my mind starts to wander it tends to find the darkest corners of my mind to fester. I am in a funk that has a serious grip on me.

What to do what to do? I am not sure, but right now I do not want to do anything at all, just sit here and stare at my computer. And it seems the more I stare the more I type out whatever drivels out of my head. Stress is a dangerous thing that very few seem to understand or know how to coupe with. Now, how to end a post that really had no beginning? Maybe put some pictures or something funny I found on the internet.....no I really dont feel like it. Maybe just delete the whole thing and forget about it......no I did not go through all the trouble of logging on here and typing this out to just erase it.

I am just going to end it and go get a cup of coffee and try to just let things fall where they may and not ponder things soooo much. It is as if my mind fills in the blanks with what could be when in reality they probably are not so. I put up on my fridge the other day a quote from a movie I know all to well, I was drunk when I did it but it still rings in my ears:

Losing all hope is freedom.

The wife unit asked why I put that there and I could not really answer it as well as I wanted to. It is complicated and it does not mean I have no hope or dreams. As long as i am still breathing I will always have them. But to me it means just letting go, and letting things be as they are. Stop trying so hard, stop adding things to the unknown trying to make sense of it all. Losing all control is freedom, turning off and just letting things be what they are can possibly help. Typing this out is actually helping and I didnt even have to pay a co-pay for it lol.

But I will add one picture, an old one I might have already posted. But it is I how I spend my down time at work:

Been a While....

2010-04-01T08:00:00.005-04:00

Of course many things have happened since I was last here. It seems every time I try to pop in here something always happens.
*like right now, I had 3 phones ringing off the hook the moment I started typing!*
So lets get this show on the road......

1) I am now the coach of my sons baseball team....its a damn full time job! I think next year I will just stick to assistant, it is just a bit too much really.

2) Here we are at the parade of disorder. I wont complain about the league to much but the disorganization is one key factor to me not wanting to do this again. It is bad, if you don't chase after them about stuff you never find out.

3) Yesterday I had to go into the city to go to the MET ( The Metropolitan Museum of Art). It is part of this paper I have to write for school. So it was a rushed visit but we still had fun.

4) We took the subway for the first time in many many years. We only had to turn around once so it was not so bad. I was going to take a cab but fuck that the subway was way faster.

5) Reading maps is an important skill to have, to bad we all failed this day lol

6) This is the guy I have to write my paper on. All I can say right now is that it is a Roman statue, that was originally a bronze Greek statue. The Romans loved all the Greek art but loved the bronze more for weaponry. So they made marble copies of them and melted down the originals for the copper.

7) Medieval art is full of religious themes. Which are full of skulls, bones and death. Got to love it!

8) This was one of the only ones I found with tits! She must have been known world wide for her wonderful ta-tas

9) Just a typical statue from the time period. But what i found funny was a security guard had to tell a woman to 'Get her kids of the sculpture' Really, if you have to be told not to climb on the art work maybe you should not be in an art museum.

10) After all that high class thinking we headed over to TGIF's for some low brow beer and burgers. I had 2 beers and a nasty greasy burger that tasted awesome. It was like an orgy in my mouth!

11) Wife unit laughing at her brothers face after downing a double shot of vodka!

12) I always take the train into the city, best nap time ever lol

13) I am just glad I didnt swallow that tooth pick and they did not stick something in my mouth lol

14) Got to love 'The Garden State'

In all it was a really fun time. We hope to get to the city more often this summer, I am sure the kids would love Central Park. I know I did when I was a kid. But now I am off to do tons of work and school work that I have been putting off and putting off. God damn what a bummer.....

'Procrastination and masturbation are very similar, in the fact; than in the end you are just fucking yourself'

Just inhale.......

2010-03-10T07:45:00.003-05:00

Ok I had the last of my midterms yesterday so I have a little breather today. I am now going to catch up on some work I have been putting off in lue of studing. I got an A on my business class midterm and now have to wait for my art histroy and finanace grades. Man I hate that part the most lol.
I wanted to come in here and do a post of my past weekend, it was a real man weekend for me. I do have some pictures but that will have to wait. I had my camera in my school bag and today i did not feel like taking it with me.....for once. So lets just go down the list of my past weekend

I jacked up my car to put the thingie that protects the under part of the engine back on. During the last snow storm it just ripped off. It is a 6ft piece of plastic that runs from the middle of the engine all the way to the back of the front wheel. But I had some problems with it because many of the plastic push pins snapped off. So I did what any man would do, I used industrial strength zip ties and self tapping screws to fix the problem. I did everything but put duct tape on it. This mother fucker isnt coming off anytime soon.
After that I ran over to get a new propane tank for the grill, and grilled up some chicken. i love the way animals taste!
Then I had to snake out the bathtub, it would seem tons of the wife's hair has been causing some problems. I should have taken a picture of the hair monster I pulled out but I was to skeeved out by it to even think about that!
Sunday, went to the driving range and found out I still suck at hitting golf balls. It seems like such a simple sport, but it is not!
Seth turned 7 on Sunday, we got him a Leapster and a cake. Nothing big just friends and family over for cake and fun time.
I picked up all the equipment from the baseball league people. I have started the process of learning about this coaching stuff. I think I bit off more than I can chew but if I had not some kids would not have been able to play on a team this year. So I will just suck it up and do it for the kids.

So that was my weekend in a nut shell. I also started running on Friday, I mapped out a 3.31 mile run on mapmyrun.com. An awesome site that takes the guess work out of running and biking. I have since be out running 2 more times and biking once for 4.5 miles on Tuesday. I took today off because I got home late from school and did not get into bed on time. When getting up at 0400hrs I have to be in bed by 2100hrs! No more late night gaming sessions on the weekdays for me.

I have to get on the ball with me Mason stuff, I have been slacking due to school but all that jazz is done with. So lets see if I can go all apeshit with it for the next 2 weeks to have it ready for the 25th! I am not sure if I can be ready by then but we shall see. But that is it for now, I hope to come back sometime this week to add some pictures. What is a post without some pictures!?! So instead I will just show a little clip from the wife unit sent from her phone of Lucas just being Lucas.

Too busy to even fart.....

2010-02-24T07:21:00.004-05:00

But I have found my way back to one of my favorite places to play! Ok, lots to cover so lets go slowly:

I have super high cholesterol so I am now on meds for it. One more mile stone crossed in the getting old process. Whats next, grey pubes?
I made the Deans list at Kean University. I will not be able to qualify this semester because I am only taking 3 classes. You have to be a full time student to make the Deans list.
The great snow storm of 2010 has come and gone, no big deal. People around here just about lose their minds every time it snows!
I order my Masonic ring.....I cannt wait to have it on!
We have finally got our apartment in order, well we still need to put away some cloths but for the most part it finally done!
I put in to take the civil-service test for Elizabeth Fire Department. I tried for the police, but no go there so why not the next uber manly job?
And lastly, I was asked to coach my sons baseball team this year. I am nervous and excited, I have no idea how to coach 7 year olds! We have a meeting tomorrow night and I will get some more information on what is going on.

So in a nut shell that has been the goings on in my life. There were a few more things that I did not put up there, like: Drinking a whole bottle of Wild Turkey whiskey and getting freaked out by the move Coraline. Then having my wife laughing at me as I tried to crawl away from the lap top Devon and Alan were watching it on. I thought I was crawling fast as hell but she later informed me that I was going in slow motion, from on side of the apartment to the other. Then to crash on the floor in the living room. I just thought that need a bit more than just some bullet point mentioning lol.

But it is now time to do my usual and post some pictures and get back to work, I have a test in finance this weekend and I am no where near ready!

1) I went out and broke my back making the kids an igloo, that later turned into a tunnel. They had a blast and that is all that matters....I now need a small Asian woman with pretty feet to walk on my back....

2) More fun in the snow. This was the first time the little ones have been sledding. And probably not the last time either.

3) The front yard is so much better, since the dogs are gone.....no more land mines to worry about!

4) Lucas has claimed this as his hat, and he wont eat without it!

5) We went to Ikea on Sunday and bought Devon a loft bed. It is about 5'5 off the ground, which gives us the floor space to make it into a play room as well. So we finally have Devon's room done and the kids toys all in one room, keeping the chaos confined to one room has helped out in an awesome way!

6) About 2 weeks ago I got to baby sit our neighbors little girl, Katarina. She was such a little doll. I am sure she is a menace at her house but with me it was all smiles and giggles.

If you dont like your picture taken stay at home.

2010-02-10T14:22:00.001-05:00

If you dont like your picture taken stay at home.
Originally uploaded by Phils Room

I might be starting a flam war.....I hope so.....

In the end there will be white....

2010-02-10T11:17:00.002-05:00

Since last week the weather people have been calling for snow. Southern NJ did get hammered but the northern parts saw little to nothing. But mother nature came back for round two today. It would seen we are in the grips of a snowy end lol. I am no fan of the snow, its cold, wet and makes people lose their minds! I saw a woman in my class just about flip out when she saw 2 snow flakes. Now this was a full grown woman, with what would seem like a good head on her shoulders. But snow really puts a zap on her! I wanted to get a picture of her but she was out the door in seconds. She went from calm night class mother of two, to a panicked nut job in just about 2 snow flakes! I guess the snow wasnt the only thing flaky out that night.....hahaha that was so funny! I crack myself up!
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Sorry about that, i am the only one here in the building and the silence is strating to get to me lol. And with the snow still coming down I might get stuck here! Here is a picture I just took a few minutes ago:

And here is the picture that followed:

I was going to do a hand stand or moon the camera, but a few seconds after I took this I found out there were a few other retards in the building. These people where given the day off because of bad weather conditions, which is the truth of the matter, but they still came in. And these are the same people that will bitch when 2 snow flakes fall and they don't close.

After I almost caught acting like an ass I noticed how cool the flag looked with all the white in the back ground. I do not have a thuper dooper camera with all those artsy fartsy abilities so I was not able to do anything too fancy. I was going to try something on my flickr account but for some reason my work computer is blocking the picture editing software. Strange and stoopid!

All schools have been closed, the wife has off today so that worked out well but I was hoping to get out later tonight to go to the lodge. But they too have shut down due to weather.....no snow, sleet or rain has ever stopped me from anything. I guess only a few share my passion with challenging the elements to a show down.

Hope the rest of the world is warm and sunny. And for the record I love it when it snows, just because I love watching people loose their minds when they see it! It is just to good not to watch!

Another day on the grind.....

2010-02-02T12:52:00.003-05:00

Just another day doing what I do best, being me and being retarded. I dont know but I seem to find some of the strangest things funny. And I have found a web site that has them on teeshirts.
Work and school are at there usual so i am coming here for some comic relief. Here are some of the shirts from
Bustedtees,
and if anyone with deep pockets wants to buy me one I wear a large......just putting that out there, lets see some love people!

There are tons of them but my favorite is the one that says:
'Jersey girls arent trash, Trash gets picked up'
Man I want that teeshirt haha. But in all not much has been going on, I am going to my man party this Friday for the spanking of the swollen ass. Here is a paradoy of the Masons, and no we dont paddle ass.....at least I dont think they do....i will find out Firday:
StoneCuters

Got to keep this one short, have tons of things to do before I leave in about 50 minutes!

That much closer to being a man....

2010-01-20T06:01:00.004-05:00

I can now scratch off plugging my own tire to the list of things I have to do before becoming 'MANLY'. I have mastered the art of changing tires, jump starting a car battery and even changed my own oil. Yeah I am that cool.

Well anyway, for the past week i have been putting air in one of my back tires. It isnt dead yet, it still has some tread left so it wasnt ready to go. And I am not ready to shell out another $89 for a new tire! So I did what real men do, I went to Walmart (only because Target did not carry them) and bought a tire plugging kit. In the past my neighbor would do this for me, he has a garage full of tools and even a huge air compressor. So filling the tire was fast and easy. I have an air compressor as well but it is one of those plug in types that is loud as hell, but just as good. So with my new found manly juices flowing I head home to get my hands dirty, I was stoked.

I get the tire off with no problem, looked about until I found the whole that needed a plug and found it! But was not sure to what it was, it had a head like a screw but it did not have the star opening in the center like other screws I was used to seeing. And it was thicker than the last screw that was removed from my tire. But I was not hampered by this, I am man and I can get it out.

Well, after about 20 minutes and 3 different tools later I finally get it out! It turned out to be a damn drill bit! I had to pry it out with a fucking flat head screw driver! It was in the tire deep, and the moment I got it out all the air came whooshing out. I almost did a crazed man dance around the tire singing, " I got you I got you, you dirty little bastard, I got you Now what huh huh now what I got you!'

But I kept my manly composure and went to the next step, plugging the tire. Which only took about 5 minutes. I took the tire in the house, because my air compressor needs to be plugged in and where I was parked was way to far to try running a cord to. I put enough air in it to see if the plug was good and since it was I put the tire back on and drove down the street to the only gas station I know that has 'free air'. It is nice to see the word 'free' and it actually means free.

So in all it took me about 35 minutes and about $10 to save myself having to pay someone probably twice, or maybe even more, to fix my tire. And so far it has been 2 days since I did it and the air is still in the tire. And of course I had to take at least one picture of the beast that was causing me all this grief:

Now, next on the list of things I have to do before I can call myself a man: Do something with concrete......not sure what, just anything that requires me to have to go to Home Depot and buy a big heavy bag of concrete and rent a big manly, dirt encrusted mixer.

And now for something completely different:
I saw this the other day at Target and had to try it:

They are calling it 'throw back' as in they have gone back to the days of using sugar instead of that awesome nastiness we love to hate, high fructose corn syrup. And to be honest I did not like it. It did not have the over powering sweet kick that blows your taste buds right out of your mouth, we all know and love. I swear I did not taste anything Mountain Dew like, man do I want me some Code Red now.......Extreme!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woooo, ok I am back......but I was some what disappointed with it; but who could expect it to taste better than something that is 100 times sweeter than plane old sugar?

Also in other news I am back in school, I have class Tuesday ( two classes, starting at 6pm and ending at 10pm), Thursday and Saturday. I am only taking 3 classes this semester so lets see how it goes. The last semester I took 4 classes and it almost did me in! I am hoping that by taking one less it will keep the stress factor down a little. I will say that even with all of my bitching I did get awesome grades:
Math: B+
Computers: A-
Health: A
World Lit: A
The math had to have been the greatest miracle, I hate math with a passion and I am soo glad it is over with. I am now taking business management, history of art and a finance class this time around. I am just about done with all the completely useless classes so all that is left are the classes that pertain to my actual major. Each class I take and pass gets me that much closer to get the hell out of there.

Different year same shit......

2010-01-04T18:46:00.002-05:00

I know that sounds like I am in a crappy mood but I aint......
It is just that I hear all these 'New Years Resolutions' of which none are ever keeps, and all that talk of what the new year will bring. Well to be honest it will probably bring much of what it brought last year.....if you sit around and let it. I for one have always been about going, doing and making things happen. Call me a spaz, call me a puttz, call me what you will but I can always say at the end of each year, 'Holly Hell, glad that one is over! Now on to the next.'
I listen to all these office drones chatting about how this year they are going to do this and going to do that, mind you it's the same drivel from last year and the year before that. I am not saying I am mister excitement but I try to make the most out of the time I have here on our little planet. I want to help or inspire others to do the same, do not wait for something to happen; go out and make it happen.
I started this blog after I bumped into one by accident, I dont remember the blog but it was an everyday guy from NJ that wrote about him and his friends. And I thought, 'Hey I want to do that!' I know I have been lacking these past few months but I hope to get on here a little more often and post something.
I encourage everyone to do the same, go out and do something just for the bragging rights to say you did it. Go punch a midget clown in the face, get drunk with your grandmother and wake up with her false teeth in your mouth, start a cult dedicated to 'Saved By the Bell', go fly a kite on the White House lawn with Canadian Bacon stapled on yourself or.....just go outside and take a few pictures of things in your town. I love reading and seeing where other people call home.
I know most people are not willing to go out and do half, or any, of the things I mentioned but do something. Life is only boring if you let it be that way. And yes I made a few resolution as well:
Eat less exercise more, take more pictures and finally finish that short story i have been working on since......I was 12 lol.
Everyone wants to be a writer these days, hell is a woman can make millions on fangless vampires that twinkle in the sun and are about as manly as Elton John in a biker bar I can too!
But in all what i want from this 2010 is another year of things I will look back on and remember with a smile. From the good the bad and the ugly.
I am going to attempt to do a quick list of things that marked my 2009:

My decision to get a full sleeve tattoo. This past Saturday I sat for 5 hours for more work. I have alot more to go but as soon as that one is done I another arm to go.
Our brush with DYFS, i look back now and laugh because it is all said and done with. But also looking back I know next time I am going to hand the school their ass if it happens again, I swear the more education a person has the less their actual IQ becomes.
My ex-wife getting divorced from husband number two. I will say this, If I ever get divorced again I am not getting married again!
Going out and playing paint ball for the first time and loving it.
Joining the Mason's. I am on page 3 of 10, I have to have it memorized by Jan 20th!
Starting back to school to finish my degree in International Business. I got my grades finally: Math B-, Computers A-, Literature A, and Health A. Which brings my GPA to 3.675! Fuck yeah I am that good, well not really I was sucking wind by the end of that semester lol
Rented a house for the first time in Virgina Beach for a week and had an awesome time.
Seth started learning the piano, I am amazed at how fast he is picking it up.
Lucas is officially potty trained....oh happy happy days!
Absinthe becomes legal in the States and I drank my first bottle.....one of three now.....
Me and my friend Pete took on a food challenge.....trying to eat 'Zeus' a 12.5 lb hamburger at the Clinton Station diner in NJ. We failed but it was well worth the bragging rights to say we tried.
Got to me Dan Aykrod at Bayway Liquors in Elizabeth NJ, he was promoting his Crystal Skull vodka. A little on the pricey side but damn good!
Went to two amazing concerts: Korn and Mindless Self Indulgence. Concerts are slowly starting to wane on me. I dont know but they are not as much fun as they used to be. God am I ......getting old!?!?!
The wife graduated from college.......so proud of her.....now if only she would do something with that $40,000 piece of paper!
Started playing golf with Pete. I suck but at least I have fun

Now, I am sure I am missing a few things that happened in 2009 but that is all I could regurgitate at the moment. If anymore come to mind I might pop back in to add them. On second thought never mind, if I missed something then I missed something. The odds are it is already in my blog somewhere so if you are really that interested in finding out what I did in 2009 go through my achieves. Have fun I started back in April of 2005! Which reminds me, maybe my blog resolution is to go back and clean up some of the crap post I have festering about in this bitch. Now that is a tall order I might just have to get on, right along with solving world hunger and telling no one!

Sometimes my job depresses the shit out of me...

2009-12-29T11:06:00.003-05:00

Part of what I do in my job is making, activating, upgrading, and deactivating badges for employees at 20 different locations. It is a pretty simple part of my job but very time consuming and sad. This year the company has decided that they want to show the head office that they have cut back the 'workforce' in 2009 by laying off a bunch of people right before 2010. Now when they say 'workforce' ,which they use as one word, they are trying to de-humanize who these people actually are. Or even to the fact they are humans with bills and families. It sucks how ever you look at it.

Here in the USA when a company does bad the first person who takes a hit is the lowest person in the food chain. Call me crazy but that doesn't make sense. It is not their fault the company is sucking wind. Does the product go out the manufacturing door to the store? Did the product leave the warehouse as it should? Yes, so what did the little guy do to get canned?

I feel the guys working in the advertising department screwed up, maybe the guys in finance did not get the numbers right or maybe something as simple as the sales men did not get out there enough.

If something fails or goes wrong you fix the area that fails, if your car gets a flat do you rebuild the transmission? No, but that is how I see most of business around here.

'Well we did not meet our numbers this year, time to lay off the people that make, package and ship the very items we sell for profit. '

I know I am no business major or a big shot anything but seeing list after list or people that have been laid off does make ones soul blacken a little each time. We are all disposable, so be happy with what you have right now because you might be part of the next wave of workforce lay offs. And then replaced with temp workers that have no insurance and get paid half of what you were making. I used to hate Unions but if things keep going the way they are we might be going back to the old days of Union's vs Big Business. Its a big shit sandwich and everyone is going to have to take a bite.

Ho Ho Ho Merry Xmass here is your pink slip Have a Merry fucking time finding a new job. But what comes around goes around.

As you can see I am not feeling all that festive right now. Our holiday was chaotic but good, lots of food (way too much food), presents all around, another year wrapping presents into the weeee hours of xmass morning, we still have to make room for all the kids new toys, the house can never seem to stay clean for 2 seconds it seems and I am starting my resolution a bit early this time. No more food.....I am soo bloated I cannt even tie my shoes....well not really but its getting there!

No real plans for New Years, probably more food and drink. But I have not been drinking all that much so in that aspect I am going well, but the food oh the food is a damn disaster!

But I have to get back to my list of people that have to be taken out of the system. So as my job is slowly killing me from the inside out have this holiday laugh I found on CollegeHumor.com

Tits been a while.....

2009-12-22T06:42:00.004-05:00

But school is over until next year! Fuck yeah! But soon it will be back to the old nonsense of writing useless reports and doing pointless projects that will just end up in the trash after the grade is given. I am in the process of trashing all my old notes and selling all my unopened text books. Only one book has been used and will not be going on eBay for sell. My computers text, it is a step by step manual on how to do excel, power point and access. I foresee this book coming in handy in the near future so it will be with me for a while.

But other than that we are days away from the wonder time of year....Christmas. Is everyone done shopping, did yall do what you said you were going to do last year and start shopping earlier? No, dont feel bad no one has. I am not done and have tons to wrap! The getting isnt so bad its the wrapping that does me in.

I have not blogged in such a long while i am a bit lost on where to begin. I feel so rusty and out of tune with blogging. I am just going to open up the doors and let some fresh air in. So lets see what I have up in my attic:

Wife's holiday party was a blast, just like all the others before.
I have to go to a meeting today at my sons school about his hitting. Oh I am sorry you cannt control my 3 year old? Here watch me fake concern about your inability to do your job.
I am studying my first degree in Masonry, lots and lots of memorizing.
We got snow in NJ but in my area it was only like 6 inches, no biggie.
I have not start exercising as of yet, bad me. I am going to be a damn whale by summer time if i dont get off my ass!
And lastly, Seth has taken to piano in an awesome way. I never thought my child would be this good at music, he is only 6. And me having gone through piano, the violin and the guitar just to learn I am tone deaf!

I will have to gather myself a little better for my next post, this one was just to get some of those cob webs out. I do have pictures, as usual so let me just put them up and get it over with.

1) Here we have the wife out in the cold putting up the lights. And yes I was there to help, I hold stuff and put things up high for the vertically challenged wife.

2) Here is the tree for this year. We are having the holiday at our house this year so it is time to start cleaning!

3) This is a little slice of weird NJ, this guy carved this out of a tree stump in his front yard....dont ask but he did one hell of a job

4) Our kids have something against green food. Even the smallest piece of green food will send them running. Here I am trying to get Lucas to look at something I took of my plate. He did the old vampire looking at the cross move. I swear it was like trying to give an emo kid a box of happy color crayons.

5) We went over to a friends house, the wife helped them decorate their tree. The kids had fun playing with each other until Lucas had to share. I swear he should have been a girl.....

6) The other day Lucas found his Halloween costume, the one he did not want to wear on Halloween, and put it on. It only lasted about 10 minutes before he started his bitching that he wanted it off, but at least I got one picture of him in it.

7) And finally we have me and the wife unit at her party. Notice she is in heels. standing on one step higher and still shorter than me. haha I am a jolly honkeie giant!

Ok, I can breath now......

2009-12-04T07:00:00.004-05:00

~Reports (skool and work) are done, PowerPoint done and now I can sit down and de-stress for a minute. I even have the time and energy to throw up.....a new post. Ha, I said throw up!
My presentation went well, I was one of the first to go. And yes I asked to go first because I just wanted to get it over with and i knew that if I set my deadline sooner that I could just get this shit over with faster. I was able to embed the youtube clip in my presentation, thanks to youtube. If you are having problems with doing just about anything all you have to do is go to youtube and type 'how to......' fill out the rest and odds some thoughtful person put up a tutorial on how to do it. I did just that with my clip and got a step by step video on how to add it to my PowerPoint. And no, there would have been no way in hell I could have figured that one out on my own and it was not in the text box. I love techno-geeks and all the lovely things they do for us.
~Now I am off to do some of my Masonic training, which is going well. I am working on my first degree and hope to move up as fast as I can.
~This weekend is going to be a busy one, school on Saturday then a birthday party later that night then on Sunday we are all going to NYC. It was something my parents always did with me as a kid and I loved it. I love NYC, not enough to move there, but still love the city.
~Also my wedding anniversary is coming up on the 7th. Not sure what I want to do yet, maybe just a day for me and the little woman...ALONE. That in itself is like a gift from heaven.
~It has been one hell of a semester so far and this one is almost over, just in time to start the next one OH HAPPY FUCKING JOY! But I can now catch up on some work work, you know the kind that pays the bills. So with that I am just going to leave things off ass I usually do, with pictures! Yah I Love Pictures!

1) I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. This was probably the firs year I did not eat and drink wayyyyy too much lol. We do buffet style, get you own damn plate and serve yourself. What do your arms fall off over the holidays?

2) Turkey makes men sleepy, and thanks to the navy Doug now knows how to sleep standing up.

3) Hiding in your shirt will not hide the fact I sleep with your sister.

4) Hmmmmm leftovers.....soon I shall turn you into pooh......

5) With leftovers comes the after math clean up. She cooks I clean, that's the deal. But I dont mind cleaning, its the one time I can put on my head phones and block out the world.

6) The key to easy clean up is the soaking factor. Always soak them at least 30 minutes before you start and clean up becomes that much easier.

7) Random life picture of the kids being hypnotized by the idiot box, I think here there were watching Ed, Edd and Eddy. The wife hates that show, I love it!

8) Tea time, Uruguayan style......strong tea for strong....taste buds....

9) I actually used this picture in my presentation about Sailor Jerry

10) I know see why people in college drink soooooooo much, i really do......

I am trying to get this in a Power point.....

2009-11-30T10:56:00.001-05:00

I am just having some problems........lots of problems. Damn skool......

Team Chuck Norris

2009-11-17T06:29:00.004-05:00

This past Sunday we were.....Team Chuck Norris! At Top Gun Paintball in Jackson, NJ.

We had a bast doing this. If I had the money I would do this every weekend! I hope to get out there again before it gets too cold but if not we are just going to save up money for next spring. It was that much fun! Well if you dont mind diving into piles of wet leaves, rolling in the mud and getting pelted with paintballs. It does hurt for a second but nothing like Air Soft. The name itself is an oxymoron! There is nothing soft about Air Soft!

Here is their web site go check it out~~~~~~~>

TopGun

I have to run, I just wanted to tell someone about this lol. I think I had more fun than they did but they were all up to go again and again. We played about 8 games that day no one wanted to leave. But all good things must come to an end.

But the end was just the beginning.........

Another HNT......

2009-11-12T06:17:00.004-05:00

When it comes to being naked one usually thinks of being without cloths. Me too for that matter, someone says they were naked my mind goes right for the 'without cloths' ideas. Mainly because there is nothing greater than the feeling of being nude and there is nothing better than seeing someone naked....female at least lol. But the very word naked means to be without cover and that meaning goes very deep. A tree can be naked, a person can be naked and even the truth can be naked......ok, its too early for philosophy but you get the idea.
Someone did a post about them being naked without his ring and I thought that was an awesome idea. He is a guy I chat with on Flickr, he is a bit of a nudest so when he said he felt naked I was interested in why someone who runs nude on a beach full of people would feel naked?!?
He was without his ring, which I totally understand. I have had a ring on my finger for almost all of my adult life, and if I am ever without it I feel naked! The ring has all kinds of deep rooted meanings behind the circle of life, the unbreakable bonds, two becoming one but for me it is about comfort. I do not feel right if my rings are off, I have not been without them for so long I am not sure I could even think right if they where to come off for any length of time. They help remind me of those who depend on me and come running to me when I see them everyday. So for me to be with out them would mean I was without meaning or hope. My rings have become a parts of me just as my family has become a part of me.
And even though they do drive me insane at times I could not think of any other place I would rather be. I am truly naked with my rings:

And yes I said rings, I wear 2 wedding bands. One is the original band we gave each other and the other one she got for me as a present a few years back.....it has a diamond in it!

Killing me slowly, thanks college.....

2009-11-06T06:27:00.002-05:00

Once again school has taken over just about all aspects of my life. I dont blog, I dont exercise, I dont play video games and I dont think. If anyone says that they like college then they must have a trust fund back home and have no stress of the real world. The wife tells me I am not to let the kids hear my thoughts on college until they are in college, which is fine by me. No one told me so why should I tell them.
And hell I wish I had gotten this over with years ago! My advise to them will be just to do it so you wont have it hanging over your head later on in life when you really do not have the time or energy to deal with it. So far, I have to do 2 papers, a excel project, a power point project, a test on Tuesday and about 6 chapters of pc work to finish. And I have not even been to math class yet!
So far I see college as $40,000 worth of busy work. Yes I can type out papers and get decent grades on them, yes I can read stories and regurgitate them, yes I can follow a step by step process work sheet.....but does that make me ready for any real world job other than being a college professor...nope. Now if I was in nursing school I would be learning things about a job in real time, but a degree in business consist of hours upon hours of nothing but busy work. I guess it is getting you prepared for all the soul crushing work in the corporate world. Pointless presentations that take weeks to put together and then the meeting is canceled and the project gets shelved.
Sooooo I guess they are really doing those who have not yet worked in the field a favor. Get ready to work hard for hardly any return. But with that it has also taught me not to go all out on everything. I am not looking to be the top dog in my school or to give a speech at my graduation, I just want to pass and get that little roll of paper that says I am now a college graduate.
Now fuck off I have to go to work to pay off this hug loan that I amassed trying to get this degree so i could get a better job, with better pay so I would have the ability to pay off said loan.
Man is that depressing or what!
The papers I hand in reflect on this idea but they still seem to come back with A's and B's on them. But the next two I am not so sure about, I really am bullshiting my way through them. The semester is coming to a close and I am already sick of it all. Another 2 years of this, Obama-God help me! At this point I am not even sure I want to bother with the whole cap and gown, just mail me my diploma, my ring and fuck off. I do not have any ties to this school other than that loan I have to pay back, I do not go to any of the events they have, could care less about any of the sports they play in and have yet to see a frat party....its a dry campus. How gay is that?!?! There isnt even a bar on campus! The nearest bar is 3 blocks once you get off campus, which really isnt that big of a deal but still.....no frat parties!
I dont know, maybe its just me but all the hype about college seems lost on me. I think it is because I am here with the soul purpose of just getting it over with, not the whole first time away from home living on my own, with bright fresh young eyes. I used to think of myself as the glass is half full kind of a person, and still do at times, but I am not so sure any more. I have become very cynical, and I dont like it. Hell all I came here to do was post some pictures and run away and this whole notion of college got me into this long winded rant about my hate for the establishment! And I know most people will have all kinds of nose about how college is this or how college is that.....but in all I could careless what others think about it. I have seen how teachers make you buy a $300 book then never us it, being forced to pay for this fee and that fee even though I will never use the service, having to pat my head rub my tummy and god forbid if i forget on step I will be fined for it. The money trail is so obviously full of dirty deeds of greed and corruption I dont even have to point it out. When was the last time you heard of tuition going down? They keep jacking up the price but I do not see anything on the students end getting anything more out of it...
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And now I take a cleansing breath and say fuck you college I will win in the end and after all is said and done I hope to never go back.

Now on to some pictures that have been waiting to get here:

1) The wife had been gone for almost 2 weeks and came back on Halloween. I had to drive to JFK to get her with the boys. I hate driving out there, its always a nightmare. But it was well worth it all to have her home again.

2) And of course I was taking pictures of all I saw. The lady in the grey dress caught my attention. For one you could tell she was either wearing a tiny tiny thong or no panties at all and two she had to be at least in her 50's. But from the back she was in her 20's hahaha!

3) And here we have the very reason we got up that morning! She's finally home! And please dont ever go away again!

4) As I mentioned she came home on Halloween so later on that day we all went out trick or treating. Seth was a Glad-he-ate-her and Lucas was Tigger but he threw such a fit about wearing it we just put on his Pj's and went out.

5) This house does the every year, freakin awesome.

6) These were our decorations.

7) Since we go out we leave a bag of candy and a note. It helps to ensure all candy is take lol, save me from myself

8) These guys were driving around giving candy to kids. I thought they were going to throw eggs at us at first but turned out they were nice guys. Sometimes you just never know!

9) And if you think college isnt driving me to drink you are wrong.....oh so wrong......coffee that is!

9) But even with all that coffee at some point this will happen......

So that is it for my pointless rant about nothing and everything. Have a great weekend I am going to try for one post a week until I have more time and energy to do more. I think I need to keep a blogging journal, so that I can remember what it was I came to the keyboard to bitch about ha! Half the time I come on here I forgot why I came here, note taking is a must for me in remembering anything lol.

Bad me take....god if I know....

2009-10-28T08:57:00.003-04:00

I have been slacking in everything these days. School, work, home and even the internet. The wife has been gone for a week now, she went down to Uruguay with her dad. His mom is not doing to well and was in the hospital. They sent her home a few days ago, the doctors told them there isn't anything else they can do for her. It is time to go home and get some rest. And we all know what that means. But it is for the better, it better to be home in the end than in an unfamiliar place when the time comes. I am not good with words at times like this, I just hope everyone down there is doing well.

With the wife gone it has been me and the kids. I have had the help of Sharon and Alan with getting the kids off in the morning and watching them while I am in school but that really isnt a substitute for my wife unit. It strange, I have been away from the family and the wife before but I have never missed her soo much. It is just so strange coming home to no one.

And I know I am not the first person on the planet to be separated from a spouse but its new to me. She will be home this Saturday, so I think this Halloween will be spent holding and hugging the family.

And with her gone I have even more stress than before, I never had to deal with stress like this. Again this is new to me, this new found feeling of being over whelmed and I dont like it. I have no energy or desire to do much of anything. I used to have so much get up and go I swore I had speed in my veins. But now that well of energy has gone dry. Even doing this post I have to drag it out of me. I know I always jump from one idea to another but here it seems more obvious because I just want to be done with it.

I love keeping a life journal, and I even recently bought a new one. I am forcing myself to keep it up because I know down the road when all of this is done I will thank myself for it. I started my last journal 12/08/2004 and ended it 10/25/2009, almost 5 years of my life put into a nice little book. Someday I will go back and read it and laugh at all the things I did.

I also like to add little parts of my life and world in it. On the first page of the old one we have some funny articles, a band aide from one of Lucas's doctor visits, my Feed Me card from the all you can eat Rio22, and a receipt for something.....I am not sure what it is but I think it might be for that 'adult' novelty store I went to some years back. Are you a freak like me?

But in my loneliness I do have one adult comfort to help me along, good old Sailor Jerry. But he does have one draw back, spend too much time with him and he will have you bawling like a baby in your drink wishing your sweet peas was home. Alcohol has a odd effect on me when I get all emotional.

But I have to run, way to much to do and I dont even know where to start. School work I DONT want to do and work at work I HAVE to do. Oh well, its time to put on the big boy pants and go to work.

Single again....?

2009-10-25T00:20:00.002-04:00

The wife had to fly away to South America for a family emergency. So for the next 2 weeks I am living the life of a single dad of 2 wild monkeys. And you know what it?
It is hard as balls! I give mad credit to anyone who finds themselves in the situation where they have to be the parent all alone. I am at my wits end and feeling very lonely at this time. It has been 4 days since I have seen my wife and I need help!
What to do with 2 wild boys I will never know! I am sorry for this post, I am about 8 sheets into the wind with Sailor Jerry Rum and coke so I am all not that coherent! Typing is very laborious and slow. I have been watching zombie movies all night so I am drunk and paranoid!
I must say I have not felt this lonely in a while and do not know what to do with myself. I have come here to spill my drunken guts outs so please forgive the ramblings. The keyboard is most unforgiving when it comes to typo's.
The wife left last Tuesday because her grandmother has serious health issues. I was left with the kids and feeling very over whelmed and stressed. Tonight I downed some Sailor Jerry rum so the key board isn't working out too well. I have not felt this lonely in such a long time I am not sure what to do with it.
This very post is a testament to patience, I have tried with all my might not to pass out working on this. I do not pray but my prayers go out to her tonight. I do not know what I would do with out her. She is my world and my end all. I am at a lost for words, maybe its because I am too drunk to continue or it is because I truly do not know what to do with myself without her............................which ever I have to end this post the back spacing is killing me......I will be back with a much sober rant about something in the near future.......night yalll!!

Skool is kewl

2009-10-15T10:49:00.002-04:00

Between work, skool and family I have been a busy bee. There are a few things I would like to put into the old blog before I am whisked away from my computer again to do something that does not have to do with my personal fun time.

Seth has been diagnosed as having ADHD and will be starting meds this weekend. We have tried to just brush it off as him just being an overactive boy but it is really hindering him in many ways in school. So we went to the doctors, had all of his teachers evaluate him and in the end the doc gave us kiddie uppers. I trust this doctor, we have been going to him since they where born and he isnt a pill popping doc. He is the kind to send you home with a note that says, 'You have a cold so suck it up.' He has been doing this for 30 years and has been through many cases just like this so I have some faith in him. I dont want to put my kid on meds at such an early age but his behavior is effecting him at school. And hell after reading all the stuff about it I might be going on the same meds. I was diagnosed many years ago with ADD but was never put on meds. Go mom! But as an adult I am having a really hard time with staying focused and getting work done....hince me here blogging haha! But this weekend will be the first time we all take the blue pill, if he does need it will obvious with in a few moments. If he does not need it, it will also be very obvious because he will bouncing off the walls. It seems that people with ADHD react differently to speed than people who dont have it. That might explains alot with me and why I love the speed ha!

Skool has me on edge and it finally came to a head about a week ago with the wife and me had to have a little talk about my attitude. I knew I was being a shit but really could not control it. But after some talking I am going back to the gym to blow off the steam. I have only been to the gym twice so far and it has helped. This week was a wash because of this cold I have. Nothing big just tired with a scratchy throat. But not something you want when trying to work out. I have been thinking about trying some meditation classes, yoga even. But as usual I have been putting off and getting distracted.....oh look a new porn site......

Ok I am back! I have to get to the dentist and soon, an old filling fell out and there is a hole in one of my teeth. As soon as i am done here I am off to find his number.

An old blogging friend of mine is going to jail this weekend. They have 2 warrants out for their arrest, nothing big just some crap drummed up by a vindictive ex. They're totally stress about it but I am trying to keep them in high spirits by making prison sex jokes and just telling its ok, as long as you dont look down you can pretend its anyone. Lets all take time and wish this person the best. I am not going to spill who this person is because they might not be ready to blog about it yet but I am hoping for the best and after it is all said and done we can move on with a life lesson learned. (Notice I went to great lenghts to keep it as ambiguous as possible. I dont want to call anyone out that isnt ready to be.)

I am getting ready for my favorite holiday of all times: Halloween. I have my straight jacket all set, because I am simply just going to be crazy this year. I know not a real far cry for me but hey you have to be true to yourself at all cost.

But it is time for me to run so let me leave you off with a few pictures I have been meaning to put up here:

1) I walked into the living room to see why they where so quiet and this is what I found. To freakin cute not to get a picture of!

2) Yes we own an inflatable air jumper thingie!

3) Trying on my costume, yep it still fits!

4) This is where I want to go for Halloween. It is still up in the air as to where we are going but this is one possibility.

5) I was going to use this as a post but since I have been getting on here so infrequently I thought I would just throw in on here now. I was going through my old high school year books and thought I would share this. This is me in 1994 as a senior at Cranford High school. I weighed about 164lbs here at 6'1. Man on man i would never want to be that skinny again lol.

I hope everyone out there is have a wonderful fall and enjoying the cool weather. The best part of this time of the year.....Apple cider! I am trying to find some place that sells unpasturized apple cider but have not come up with any. I think I will just have to make my own!

Zombieland, hell yeah!

2009-10-05T16:18:00.005-04:00

I saw this movie over the weekend with the boys, the older ones mind you. And we freakin loved it! I want to take the wife but after dropping 40 smackers down for 3 tickets and 2 Coke Icies the bank needs some time to recover. But I am all up for seeing this gem of a movie. I love zombie movies and probably have seen all that were really worth seeing, and many that were not worth the film they were put on.

I rank this movie as my all time fav zombie funny movie. There are different types of zombie movies, the Funny and the Dramatic. Funny ones include:

1) Zombieland-2009

2) Shawn of the Dead-2004

3) Dead Alive, it is a hard one to find but a must. Its fucking funny 'I Kick ass for the Lord!'-1992

4) Evil Dead Triolgy

5) Idel Hands (Seth Green is in what can I say?)

6) Return of the Living Dead, its funny in an 80's time capsal kind of way lol-1985

And yes they are in my like order.

Then we have the usual typical dramatic horror zombie movie. It all started back in 1968 with 'Night of the Living Dead' a black in white classic. It is funny now to watch but when I saw it back when I was 10. It scared the living hell out of me! The problem with trying to list zombie movies is that there are soooo many I dont even know where to start. But I will list a few of my favorite:

1) 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later

2) Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead, old and new

3) Pet Cemetery

4) Resident Evil

and the list goes on, here go take a look~~~~> Zombies

To wrap this up I totaly endorse this movie and will going to see it again very soon! I wont give anything away because the suprises are really worth waiting for. The story is well played out and the humor factor is a gas!

Now I am off to do some more school work.....whoopie!

Yes off-eye-ser eyes been drinkin....

2009-09-25T23:58:00.004-04:00

Well sometimes being in the wrong mind space can get you into trouble. The other night I was coming home from class and was just pondering my up coming class when all of a sudden those cherry lights popped on in my rear view mirror. I was pretty sure I was speeding but the radar detector made no indication he was showing his radar love. So I pulled over and waited for the 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' line. It did not take long and my response was a calm, 'No officer I do not.' Not wanting to admit to anything I was not 100% on I stuck with that. He asked for the usual, but I had an ace in my deck.
I have (had) and PBA card from a friend that is a cop in our town. Well the nice officer told me he was pacing me, hence the silent radar spotter, and got me going 60 in a 25! Oh fuck me! But after a few minutes of polite conversation he let me go with a warning and took the card. I thanked him and drove away slowly.....
In all honesty I was not paying any attention to my speed or who was behind me. Usually I at least notice the lights behind me, I dont need a radar detector to tell me what cop head lights look like lol.
I had to run home and find my updated insurance card, as it turned out the one I had in my car was expired. So again I thank my luck stars that this ended well. Always be polite to the cops and never be overly arrogant with a PBA card. I never flashed the card out at him, it just soooo happened to be in front of my drivers license.
'Wow, how did that get there?'
Lesson learned, never drive out of a college that has real cops as security guards in auto pilot. They love an easy ticket, and I will not let them get me. Just because I will not be speeding by there any time soon or park in any areas I am not supposed to be or blow a stop sign. There are tons of stop signs all over the campus, and they are just waiting for you to do a 'rolling stop'

And during this entire post I was thinking of RangerTom, and in keeping up with that I give you this. Just something I stole from god knows where on the internet. And to get this picture you had to have seen the last Batman movie. And to truly get this picture you have to understand this line:
'In their desperation they turned to a man they truly did not understand'

Apples and Tomatoes......

2009-09-22T06:15:00.003-04:00

Yes I missed Monday but that is due to that damn place called college. I will be sooooo glad when its all over. I went straight to school after work yesterday to get some things taken care of that I left hanging. I got some paper work for my student loan, my college i.d., my parking decal and got my student library card. I am a college boy/man now! I have also learned that the college library is also the place to go when one needs a nap, at least they are quiet.

I have to get back to my work-work and school work so i will just post the pictures of our apple picking outing we did on Sunday. Devon, my oldest, was going to go to but he asked to stay with his mother to sleep. It seems they were out late the night before and wanted to sleep in. Man i wish I could sleep in!

I found my favorite apple! They were called "Mystery Apples" The owners said they are not sure as to what these apples are, they do not fall into any of the normal classifications of apples. But they are the best tasting apples I have ever had. And they were the only ones we took home with us.

We also picked these little orange tomato thingies. They two were freakin yummy, right off the vine! I am soooo country right now, ha!

Ask a monkey to pose and you get a posed monkey.

Apples as far as the tounge can feel!

Little man on an apple mission.

Taking a much needed sit among the tomatoes, you know the spell checker says that I have been spelling 'Tomatoes' correctly but I cannt shake the feeling I am spelling it wrong.....has something to do with potato and the letter 'E'.......

I know this post is crappy at best but for the next two years I really wont have much time to plan them out or even think about what I type before I type it. I just look at the keyboard and left my fingers vomit all over the page.......