About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, October 25, 2007










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I have a halloween party coming up and it is the first one I have been to in YEARS! I love halloween, it is my favorite holiday and I have dressed up every year since I was like 4. There has not been a year that I did not. I have bought al kinds of werid things in honor of this last remaining pegan holiday that the catho-holics have yet to burn at the stake. I am not even sure if it is a real pegan holiday but I think of as one. Just like I see christmass as one and easter and any other holiday that has hallmark cards and werid statues that resemble anything that is not God alone. And you know what I am talking about.....all saints day, santa clause, the easter bunny, hannaka harry, the day of the dead...another fun holiday....and so on....but I am not about to rant about religon today I dont have the energy.



I have my costume all set, the wives and the babies. The wife and I wanted to go as something that we could all work as a family but we could not find anything that we liked. The wife and I are going as pirates and the kids are going as Darth Vader and yoda. So cutie I could vomit! But like I said this is the first party I have been to in a while. To many ppl out grown halloween to fast and no one wants to be a kid like I do. But I might have found someone, who is actually older than me who still think they are teenagers. I hope all works out, I have to keep the drinking to a normal level. I go insane and I might not get invited back lol. Pirate or not I still have to go home with my wife haha!



I looked up a few pics of other ppl halloween costumes, and even have a few of me and the misses in our costumes.

1) I am not sure what he is but I love original ideas.....I think he is the purple teetubie.



2) This is actually a pretty cool idea, now all that is missing is a guy dressed as a cat trippin on shrooms.



3) i am not a huge Insane clown fan but I love it when children wear their make up. Makes the evil in me smile a little each time.



4) Like with the rest of this pics I found this one on photobucket.....and I am not going to touch it with a ten foot pole, but it is funny! ANd if you dont think so, eat shit and die muahahahah.



5) Almost all of the adult costumes were of the 'Adult' material. I felt like I away at the Video eXtra store but with alot more children running around. I wanted the wife to buy a few outfits for a little trick or treatin in the bedroom. "Trick or Treat put me in heat, give me some muff to eat, if you dont I dont care I just fuk u until I start a fire down there!"



6) Sexy outfits + booze = hot chicks bumping and grinding. Then passing out and wondering why their butts are soar.......just keep telling yourself you fell down some stairs. I made your mom fell better.



7) But also what I love about Halloween is that this is the time of the year trashy ppl can get their daughters ready for the work force as strippers/hookers. It will get them used to the idea of looking trashy and thinking its normal. We need stippers just as much as we need doctors and lawyers. Dont get me wrong, I know its just pretened. Thats the same line Michael Jackson used on his little friends!



But I am out of time again....but here is the little woman an me in our halloween costumes. This was our dry run, I have more accessories and a beard. I have been growing my facial hair since last week. My facial hair is red so it will match nicely lol.




Monday, October 22, 2007

Refugie camps...

The inlaws are having their floors refinished so we are now the host of 5 new people in our apartment. To say the least we have become a refugie camp haha.
Here we have the Doug the navy man chill-axing on the couch. Only real men can rock Minie covers and still get up and be manly!
Here we have Sharron, I am blonde on the inside, sleeping in Mr.NoNo's bed. I wish I had gotten up early enough to get the whole shot. She is sharing the bed with him, and they really dotn fit haha.
And here we have Cheese and the mother-in-law attack the wife unit. It is hard to see but the baby is doing a flying face plant on her. Everyone of my sons has had a head of steal. Dont know if that is an actual term but each one of them could probably kill with one single blow from their heads.
It was a busy weekend filled with me going out to da club and getting hammered and going to work the same morning. I did not have a hangover because a hangover is the end result of being drunk. I think I was still drunk when I rolled into work. Good times.....good times.
Saturday was nice that ened in us ordering the 24inch family pizza and 24 iwngs from CluckU. If you have no idea what a 24 inch pie looks like, well get a ruler and do the math. I did not think to take a picture. But next time I order one I will, lets just say its fucking HUGE! Cluck-U has awesome wings and pizza! Go to there web page and see if there is one near u------CLUCKU
Sunday was the cleaning and washing day. Suprisingly we got most of it done. Only a few more touch ups to go. But we are going to have to buy more halloween candy, I started eating the bag we bought and its almost gone. Bad me bad me! They might be bite size but when you eat handfulls of them they become super sized candy bars haha.
I must apologize for my lack of vists to everyone, I am all computered out most of the time. Online skool is still whooping my ass for the most part and I dont get much play time anymore. I am almost done with an IT Managment class and I am on my last week of Algebra II. I cannt believe I have self taught Algebra! I am a damn miricale worker haha.
I promise to come by and molest everyone very soon! So keep your legs crossed until I get a chance to come by and say HIGH!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

I will have more to cum....

Work and skool have consumed almost all of my time. And what time I free after that I am usually sleeping, eating, beating off or crying into my beer. I dont even have time to exercise, and that is pissing me off beyond belief!. I have been watching what goes in my pie hole so I have actually lost weight. I started at 218 4 weeks ago and as of this week i am @209. Kick ass!

I am going to post only a few pictures from our outing last weeks pumpkin trip. It seems every year we go to farm to pick pumpkins and it always ends with some weird happening. Last year it took 2 tries to find the place because i read the name of the town wrong and this year we had to make 3 u turns because we missed the exit 3 times. What should have taken 30-40 minutes took over 2 hours! We did get what we came for but it was not the same. it was fucking hot as sin. Picking pumpkins in shorts and sandles just isnt the same.

But to update things a bit the seasonal weather has finally come. Windy and cold is the weather today.

The field of dusty heat and orange pumpkins.


Corn maze, a little lam but the kids liked it.


Me and cheese


I promise to get back to everyone soon, thanks for all the comments please stop by whenever your ADD kicks in. And if you want to read something bizarre go to my last post and check out a comment some wacho left me. I am not even sure what the hell that is. But if anyone knows how I can fuck with this shit head let me know. His web page is http://finalprophet.freehostyou.com/finalprophet.htm
Talk about pure diarrhea of the mouth! Does anyone know how to corrupt his page so i can import hardcore porn on his site?

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Legs of Fire!

Well the Total Gym is going great, and I am getting more used to it. The spirit of Chuck is with me! I also started running this week, god I hate running. I went Monday and I went again this morning. And for those of you who know me you will know that me getting up any earlier than my normal 0600 is a freaking mirical! I have been getting up at 0455 and out the door by 0505. I run around this park by my house which is at least 1/4 of a mile round. I actually think it is bigger than that but not by much. And what I love about running around this park is it is smi-ghetto and you never know what fun things you will spot while runnning. On Monday I saw a man sitting on one of the exercise station smoking weed. I personally could careless about some one getting there 'wake'n'bake' on but its fuking 0530 in the morning. Who the hell getts up that early and thinks, 'Dude, I sooo need a joint right now?'

Then today I saw some dude doing salsa dancing in the park all by himself. I was doing some chin ups and leg lifts and I see thie guy I saw earlier running dancing. At first I just thought he was doing thi chi or some type of soccer drill but then I got a better look and he was a solo dancin fool! Well, I wish I could dance that good with another person let alone by myself in a dark park lol.

ThenI saw beer bottles at the push up station and several empty baggies, and yes I checked! You see running in the urban landscape helps take the mind off the fact your legs are on fire. The first day was not so bad but the second time was pure hell. My legs were still hurting from Mondays abuse but I pushed passed it. I daydream about running a 5K race and actually finishing. Its called projecting, it helps when I fell like stopping. I also curse at myself, I pray I never start that Ipod talking. You know when you have your Ipod on too loud and you dont notice that other ppl can hear you talking to yourself but you cannt hear you. Because if I ever do ppl walking by me will get the fuk out of my way. What would you do if you heard some guy coming up behind you saying this:

" What the fuk is wrong with you, you lazy shit, yeah I am talking to you, you're weak you, you're patatic, you make me sick, burns doesnt it you little faggot, move your ass, you want those abs dont you they wont grow on there own you studid shit!"

Now, me personally I would more out of his way and wonder how he stole my internal monolog. I have made a resolution to end all others, this time I want it more than ever. Everyone I knew when we were skinny has gotten bigger. I dont want that for me, now I dont really mind or care about their girt. It doesnt bother me, and hey if they are happy who am I to look down on them. But I am not happy with what I have done to myself, and I am now focused on fixing it. I am getting my eating under control, I use Sparkpeople.com religously and have it up on my work pc from the time I get in to the time I leave. I drink over 10 glasses of water a day and I am no longer making excuses. I just have to work on my weekends, it seems this is when I lose it. One cheat day is normal but i tend to push it for 3, Friday to Sunday. I am bad on the weekends, I am not about to give up my cheat day I just have to keep it to one day and one day only.
Now speaking of weekend I have some pics from last weekend. Mr. NoNo's was put in gymnastics but he wanted nothing to do with it. It is a free class that the township put on and all I can say about it is: Disorganization. There was no order, no instructions and no structure anywhere. We get there and they take our paper work and send us in to this gym with about 100+ little screaming mosters. Everyone looks lost and I bet half of them dont speak a word of english. I get my monster in a line, not sure what the line was for but they all had their shoes off and heading towards a matted area. He wasnt to cool with this part, but as long as he could see me he was sitting with these other beast. Well, finally someone in charge says something:
" Ok parents we need you to go sit over there please"
Now, mind you 'over there' was on the other side of this huge gym. I am not sure I could have thrown a baseball to where we were to sit and I knew my kid would freak if I went that far. Well, I never made it that far, after the announcement (that no one paid any attention to) they were told to stand up and walk to the next mat; he bolted over to me and would not let go of my leg. I suddenly had a child size tumor on my leg. He wasnt crying but he was not happy. So in the end we just left, I was by myself with 2 little monsters and one of them was a drunkin midget who suddenly got 'the fear' And anyone that knows what that is knows there is no looking back, all you can do is walk, stummble crawl away. We walked, but man oh man they should serve booze at these things!
Mine is the one in the middle with his 'angry eyes' on.
The later that morning the sister in law came over and helped clean while the wife unit was working. To bad she could have helped me with midget man earlier but whatever. After several hours of playing house slave she passed out on the couch. I was sooo tempted to draw on her face with a marker but the only ones I found were the permanate kind. And I am an evil bastard but not that bad, but you would have to admit having a penis drawn in permanate maker on your face would be some funny shit!
Then later whe all went to the inlaws house and the mother in law bought cheese one of those push/pull/ride toys. I had to assemble the damn thing and I only had to unscrew it once to get it right lol. But in the end he was having a ball.
All in all it was a good weekend, ate and drank too much. Like I said weekends are where I need work, better luck next weekend.