As I was wandered around the house doing my manly thing....stripping the kitchen cabintes of the old sticky pink paper that someone put there sooooo many years ago. I was struck with a funny thought. Or more like a statement- What I learned from porn movies VS what real life has taught me. So I thought I would share what I came up with, if anyone has anything to add let me know. Its a being list, it will get bigger I am sure.
- Not all women know how to or are willing to give head.
- Women dont like to get shot in the face with a fat load of man love.
- Slipping a finger in her ass wont atomaticly get you access to the backstage party.
- Not all men are created equal.
- Spanking isnt always wanted.
- Shoving a girls head down on the unit during the moment of truth is always a bad idea.
- Not everyone likes to be 'ankle to her ear-lobes.
- Faster doesnt mean better.
- No woman who isnt getting paid will french you after eating at the Y.
- Ass to mouth is a show stopper.
- Donkey punch...well unless she is a crack whore then maybe.
- Sex at work with the hot intern is a big NONO!
- Just showing a girl your penis doesnt mean instant sex
- Not all vaginas look the same.
- Hardwood floors have to maintained and sometimes asked for. It isnt atomatic.
- One more......I dont care what you saw I dont kiss after she swallows!
It was something I pondered about as I did my thing in the kitchen. But while in there I discovered a few things...........
- Where the mystry leak was coming from.
- Where all the drinking glass ended up
- We have tons of hot chocolate packets.
- The man who put up these cabinets needs to be shot with a nail gun.
- We had a secret stash of plastic wear and paper plates.
- No need to buy any vanilla extrac for some time.
- Salt-yes we have plenty!
- I didnt know our Croc-Pot came with a carrying case.
- And that who ever put down this sticky paper didnt noitce the 1972 penny in the middle of the surface. Gee I wonder what was causing that circular bubble in the paper?
I am back to work today and have just a little catching up to do. Nothing to bad, I was exspecting it to be much worse. But let me do my HNT so I can get back to said evilness that affords me my addictions.
This is an old pic but I dont think I ever posted it, I might have. I am not about to go looking in past post to see, I am that lazy. It is a picture of a wound I got while in South America. Some assholes thought it would be a good idea to jump my brother and law and me. Well in the end I got a keep-sake and they got nothing. That is what you get for trying to rob 2 drunks 2 drunk to do it right.It has long since healed and become a scar, better than a tattoo lol.-The drooly monster on my shoulder is the Mr. NoNo, he was -I think- a year old here. And yes that is the wife unit's hand with her bling bling on. And I think if you enlarge the picture you might be able to see another scar of mine, my exwife's name. She burned it into my back sometime around 1997. We were watching this show about tattoos and branding and she asked if she could brand me. I said sure, she used a paper clip and a lighter. I worked rather, to well hahaha. I promised the new wife to put her name over that one, and I will.
Well I am doing this post on the fly, Have a Great HNT and make sure you post something of yourself as well to help spread the fun. And if you have no idea what the hell I am talking about look over here and start-----> HalfNakedThursday