About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Post two for Monday- Happy Halloween.

We went trick-or-treating at my moms picture perfect adult community out in the boonies of NJ. The old fuddie-duddies set a time to start and a time to finish and even had makers of which houses were going to give out candy. It must suck getting old hehehe.
When asked what I was dressed as I had several answers. I was a retarded candy raver at first but my son got upset when he saw his pacifier around my neck. He jumped up and caught it in his mouth and I then had a tigger hanging around my neck flopping around like a fish out of water. So I change it to just plan retard, I wish I could have gotten the special olympics pic on a tee shirt but all this up tight white ppl would have strated a riot over it. All these aging yuppies and their half retarded kids would gang up on me and beat me senseless with bags of candy. Note to all those ppl out there that want to get their careers and lives on track before they have kids, the chances of having children with special needs increases with age.
But enough of me being an ass.....here is my costume :

Me normal----




















The evil me comes out along with the shocker......




















Shocker 2 and yes I have 4 bandanas on...got all gangs colors coverd here in whitey white ville lol. The look on those uptight crackers was priceless when they walked pass me. They saw the kids and were all like, " Ahhh how cutie!" and then they saw me and you could see the confusion wash over their uncultured, overly protected, and overly make-uped faces. You can not believe the number of 'Tammy Fae Baker' costumes I saw.




















The wife got into the spirit to with some make-uped booboos and pink hair.
















As I mentioned little man was a tigger and here he is. The whole reason we dont eat our young when they drive use insane- pictures like this heheehe.
















This is the picture perfect town where my mom now lives. It's kinda scary how perfect it "looks". I swear that there are aliens hidding here somewhere plotting to take over.















Here is the whole family at the end of the day; little man on top, me, the wife and the oldest. He was dressed as peter pan with guns....his words not mine lol. This has to be one of the warmest and brightest halloweens I can remeber. My memories of this time of the year are usually cold and dark, the way halloween should be lol.
But we got alot of candy and the kids had fun, time to start calling the dentist and making the appointments now :-D

Post one for Monday- The hair cut.

On friday I made an appointment to get my mop cut. It was a mess and me being the sexy bitch, I think that I am, I needed to get it back in shape. Here is a pic of me before the assault......















I went to the Mane Event in Cranford NJ to get my hair cut. I have been going there since high school and like how they cut my hair. They can cut some hair and the girl at the sinks gave me some good head.....when I say head I mean she washed my hair and messaged the scalp and all lol- dirty minded ppl. I tip the hair washing girls as well as the person who cut my hair, their job is not as hard as the hair dressers but they still need a few bucks thrown at them. The only time I give dollar bills to a woman with that much clothing on lol.
I did get one realllly bad hair cut here once but she was learning and had a pretty face, a pretty face goes a long way with me heheheehe.
Here is the finished product, I always feel naked after I lob off the locks. I like it and so does the little woman, I was thinking of going shorter but maybe next time :-D
















(man I have a big head!)

Friday, October 28, 2005

Friday Funnies # 3

WARNING:
The views and pictures here do represent the author in anyway. He just found them on the web and thinks they are funny. If you are easily offended the author asks for you to leave now and take that bug up your ass with you.

Thank you,

Now go back to fucking work!





1) This is a Halloween funny, and besides I love the Hellraiser movies!

















2) I am trying to put this one on my desk top at work, guess why?














3) If it weren't for women like her Cancun and Girls Gone Wild would not exist.


























4) If it weren't for guys that look like this abortion doctors and bartenders would be out of work.




















5) This is sooo wrong and I do not feel this way, because we are all speecial.





























6) I don't know about you but I am totally digging the fat one!























7) I am applying for this permit as we speak!



























8) If you don't think this is funny close your bibles for a second and worship the great man and his 12 herbs and spices of salvation!






















Happy Friday ppl this was episode 3 of FF- Friday funnies. I hope I made at least one person smile today. I am now going back to work and 'actually' going to use this pc for what it was given to me for lol.

TGIF

TGIF mofo's

It has been an ok week but the fact Monday is halloween makes this one even better. I have several costumes to pick from, not sure what I am going to be but when I figure it out I will post the pictures.
We are going trick or treating at my moms develpment on Sunday and the little party they have for the little ones at the club house. It is an ' adult community' and they want to know where the little shits are going to be at all times and when they are going to leave. We had to register each child that was going to participate in the event so they knew how many to exspect. They also gave us a time line from when we can start and when we have to stop, wtf! I know I sound old here but wtf is this, it was soo much more lax when I was out doing this as a child. I cannt say when I 'used to' go trick or treating because I am 29 and have yet to miss a year out with a costume and a bag. I even did this through out my high school years , hey its free candy and the cross dresser in me needs an exceptable outlet here! But even with all the rules and outlines these old farts have set aside I think the kids will still like it. The funny thing here is that Sunday is Mischief Night.......time to show these old bats what that really means MUAHAAHAHAHH...saved poodels, toliet paperd shrubs and red die in their pools. God I hope I dont get like them when I get old.
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I will have to post my funnies later on today the blogger gods are angry again and they will not let me post pictures. I must give them a virgin sacrifice, but one problem. I dont know any, I think I go see if my friend PB has any hidden in her closet. Or has she defouled them all? Well nothing asked is nothing gained......I'll be back laters!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Just bored...........

Got a little bored today so I thought i would just sit here and play with myself. And here is what popped up.......

Well at least she is regular......






















I wish all those strippers where this honest with us men......




















Man I sure hope those arent his sisters......




















Anyone else see something wrong here.....















I hope everyone had or is having a good day.....I will be back tommorrow :-D

-----------NEW UPDATE @ 1430--------------------

Thank you video x for this but it was fun for a few seconds and my score was better hahahahahahahaha.....how sad, just for the fact I bothered with it in hopes I was cooler than at least one person lol. so come and show some love and take it too.....


I am 52% loser. What about you? Click here to find out!

Happy HNT

Not really half naked but I am probably pants-less hehehehe. But I found this pic of me and the little man and had to put it up. I think he was a year old here but I know this is the day I cut off my gottie. I was having some fun with it before I removed it all together and yes my facial hair is very red. My hair is brown with natural red highlights but my facial hair comes in flamming red. Its the weridest thing, its my irish roots trying to come out and start a fight with the rest of my body hair. I am just glad it is the only hair on my body that comes out that color, just imagine me with red .....arm hair. hehehehehehehe gotcha!
Happy HNT!


Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Why do whoosies buy SUV's?

The misses and me went to the mall yesterday to get some summer cloths for our up coming vacation. Not sure if I mentioned this but I do like shopping and love the mall. We ended up buying the baby a cute little man suit and me a really nice suit that will be all tailored and ready for pick up on Friday. It is now the nicest suit I own, the second best one is kinda old and needs to be altered a bit. But this is nothing to really blog about, my rant today is going to focus on why ppl buy suv's and never even come close to using them for what they are for. The commercials show them out driving in places no human should ever go alone let alone driving their brand new suv there. But in the real world these pussy ass convoy driving retards freak out whenever they hit a pot hole or get their car muddy. Mind you I would not put those skinny ass rim on my bike let alone a 2 ton beast of the interstate.
On the way home we took a back road to get home faster and was confronted with a little problem. The under pass we used had been flooded out. It was not all that bad or all that deep but my low rider would have never made it. My wife was driving her mommy-modile( Chevy Caravan) nothing like a Jeep or a Suburban but she showed those big boys what having balls ment. She gunned it through the water and at one point almost got stuck but we made it out ok. Even after we made it out all these ghetto rats with their pimmped up Escilades , Cherokees and explorers turned around. Pussies! All those ppl that drive SUV's without one piece of character on them are pussies. If you want a fucking show car keep it in your garage and masturbate on it on the weekends but don't buy a car that can take on frozen tundra and treat it like a god damn fragile old woman. I don't baby my car in the least and it has enough character for me, even though I am planning on a new paint job soon( I like my car-1994 Dodge Interpid). Nothing fancy but it is fun to drive, and I am not afraid to park near the shopping carts at Target.
So this is to you the pansy in the urban monstrosity, take that bitch off road once in a while and put those engineers to the test and see if those commercials are true. Or you could just give the keys to the kids and see what they can come up with in this concert jungle..........

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Bitch Slap

I am not sure if I have mentioned it but I have been watching UFC alot. I have stopped watching WWE a longggg time ago and have since stop watching boxing. If you like a good fight this is the event for you. Unfortunatley it is not allowed in NJ but thanks to cable tv it comes right into my home. I also love looking for amature fight videos on line, I have found a site and I will post it later. It is on my home pc and my work browser will not allow me to even get near it lol. It is full of clips of real street fights caught on tape. Which brings me to my title of this post: The Bitch Slap!
After watching about an hour of real brawls between men and women I have found the best fighting technique. The bitch slap , the open handed front slap and the back handed cross over slap, works better than any punch. Well, unless you are a trained kempo artist the straight out closed fist is not usually the best thing to use. Exspecally when confront with some crazy ghetto bitch doing the windmill on your ass and has a handfull of your hair. It does not take much trainin to use this move and can be incorpirated into a block/strike/block style.

This is what the open handed bitch slap looks like when at full exstention............











It works in almost all reall world fights and if one were to use the palm of the hand more than the fingers it can be as effective as a heavy weight hay-maker.
















But most of use are not trained fighters and only think we can fight after a good Jakie Chan movie. So when confronted with a situation where things come to blows, just remeber the first strike can end it all. Just make it a well cranked up full palmed bitch slap right across the jaw. What does not work, standing there and trying to act like Ali. Go look around the net for real street fights and watch UFC and see what really works and what doesnt. -If holloywood says it works it doesnt!-







































Monday, October 24, 2005

Cold as a witchs tit wekend....

-It was a rather quiet weekend with nothing too eventfull happening. I did not get as much sleep as I had hoped for but that is my fault. Did not do anything friday, did a little drinkin on Saturday and tried to stay up and watch the most important show on TV, Beavis and Butthead reruns. I tried so hard to stay awake, they came on at 2 in the fucking morning and haveing 4 beers and countless number of gin and tonics did not help. I dozed off watching a Chris Rock stand up, it was funny the first 6 times but on the 7th viewing it just put me to sleep. I was sooo pissed off sunday morning when I realized I missed my show and did not get any sleep on top of it.
-But we went to some place right around the corner from my house that suprised me. Now keep in mind that I live in a very crowded part of NJ. People here live literaly on top of each other and any plot of land is turned into a 6 familiy filing cabnit. It is called the Liberty Hall musem, it is the house where the Kean family lived 220 years ago and is the family Kean College is named after. This place was sooo beautiful and so well perserved for being so old and in the middle of urban USA. They had pumpkin picking, hay rides, face painting, and pony rides but me and the older boys just ran amuck on the grounds. Poking or head in places they probably should not have been, peaking in area that were probably off limits and just being boys. Here are some photos from a place that is lost in time and stands as a reminded how things once were. Where men were men and women were treated more like property than a person lol.

1) The main house, we did not go in due to the fact the two little monsters that were with me could not sit still for 1 second. I really would love to see it in a relaxed setting. Not in the "Dont touch that, stop running, no, no, no, stop hitting him, stop cursing, no, no , no" mode.















2) This picture has a very halloween psycho house fell to it dont ya think?
















3) Anyone else feel like watching the movie "The Shinning"?















4) I believe this was probably the servants house. Damn I want to be someones servant if I get a house this nice lol.















5) This is a chestnut tree that was planted in 1770. Too cool!















6) This is called the 'privy', more like a medevil potty to me. I wonder how many ppl got splinters in their privates?















7) This is the ground zero and the recieving end of the outhouse. I wonder if there is any 200 year old doodie in here. Maybe one of those guys from CSI can examine it and tell us their life story lol.
















8) This is the carrage house and the two little monsters that I took with me. It is amazing they were not at full speed here, they must have stopped to kill a bug.















9) Last but not least this is a picture of a fire engine that the kids were allowed to climb on. And boy did the wild animals take full advantage of this. They even had little fireman outfits for the little beast to pretned with.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Another one gone, that much closer to old age...

I hope everyone has a good weekend, this week has been kinda lame in the day to day here on my planet. But I will be on vaction soon so the weeks are getting longer and longer. Which I dont really mind, sometimes the build up to the day has more excitment than the actuall vacation. Hell, vacations are over before they fucking start but the days leading up to it seem to last a life time. Exspecally if its a holiday you sooo are looking forward to.
So dont hope for the end , its the journy to the end that makes it all worth the while.
-----We anit found sheet!------

2nd installment of Friday Funnies..

Its Friday and its time to relax a little. This is the second installment of Friday Funnies, its where I display all the things I find throughout the week on the net. I used to just collect funny things for my own personal amusement but now I am willing to share.
TGIF to one and all....Now on with the show:

1) I always wondered if fish did this...



















2) don't pick the berries at this lake.















3) They come in all different varieties-moist, crunchy, and extra sticky.





















4) Why bleach was invented.
















5) Not sure who Frank is but we all now know what Mrs. Bush was doing in the bathroom for 45 minutes.




















I hope everyone can come away from my site a little less informed about anything important but remember that a good smile is worth more than anything in the world.
Happy Friday to all the working stiffs out there, and also to all those who work with a stiff-ie hehehehehe.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Look what I found...

I went to yahoo and looked in images for anything titled ' half naked' and here is what it spit back...

1) I didnt know referees wore diapers...who knew?



















2) I was curious why my bike seat smelled funny...





















3) Why does Homer look soo worried here ? lol.....




















4) I am not sure what is going on here but I know I would not want to wake up next to this after a night of drinking.




















5) When white ppl and beer goes all wrong. Someone needs to feed these kids. They look like future poster children for anti herion aids.

















These are just a sample of what happens when Half Naked Thursdays go all wrong. Some people should not be showing what their momma gave them. There are a few ppl I would love to see jump on the HNT. All women of course beacuse who wants to see half naked men any way lol. Men are always to willing to show it off anyway hehehehheee.

Happy HNT


Happy Half Naked Thursday

This is similiar pic of me from last time. Just a few changes here. No nail polish, cleaner mirror and I have socks on lol. Not much really going on here with me so I just thought I would go and fo my yahoo thing and see what happens.....
But I will post them later...got to get some work done lol.....




Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Hot or Not..you better say hot damn it!

I took this picture of my wife this weekend and it makes me swell with pride....swelling in several places I must say. I am even going to have it made into wallet sizes to carry around with me. I am one of those ppl that carries photos of loved ones in their pocket, me being on top of course. Mainly because its my driver liscense hehehehe.
I am lucky to have found her and luck she took me back. I went a little stoopid when we were dating and thought the grass was greener on the other side. But it wasnt, hell it wasnt even grass! And in my short sightedness I almost lost her, but as I said she forgave me and took me back. Now, mind you she will never let me forget what I did but some lessons can only be learned after you have gotten burned. I really dont plan on forgetting it, a reminder to what will become of things if I get any stoopid ideas again.
I hope for everyone out there to find someone that makes your trip home worth the hell at work. All those ppl we know that say that there is not someone out there for them, tell them there is. I did not find my one and only on the first try, I had to test drive alot of beaters before I finally got my dream car(1984 Monte Carlo SS 440). LOL....she is sooo going to hate being compaired to a car! Ever wonder why that ugly woman has a hot guy? Maybe it is the simple fact she can cook, suck a mean dick or that she really makes him happy. ( Or maybe she was hot too, 200 lbs ago :-X and he loves em big lol)There is always someone out there, you just have to be willing to do your time in the trenches.
So this blog goes out to the woman that makes my day worth dealing with when the bad times hit and cherrishing the good times even more. And to those who think all is lost in love, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I would deal with all the pain of life all over again if I could end up with her each time. And hell if it were not for the pain of heart ache we would not have all this poetry and sappy love songs all those women love lol.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Nuffin going on....

Nuffin much going on but I find this little gem a while ago and it soo reminds me of when I go to sites like this~~~>??!! I love this site and go to it all the time. But every other clip gets this kind of reaction. Just a word of warning it is full of adult stuff so use care when looking lol. He even looks like me hehehehehe.